Was I the Most Self Absorbed Person In the World or What?

This thread is directed to the ladies who went to maturnity homes during the closed adoption era. When I went into the maturnity home I felt that I did't need to be there because I had no intention of giving up my baby. Of course we all know how that went. I didn't make any real close friends there and only remember one girl's name. Of course it wasn't her real name. We had to use fake names to make ourselves less identifyable. My daughter gave me our "code name" from the records as a way of confirming that she was my daughter. Kind of ironic, huh? Anyway I didn't make a lot of effort to make close friends because I didn't feel like I belonged there. I remember one girl's boyfriend decided to marry her after she had given birth and everybody was happy for her because she got to leave with her baby. I also remember one telling that when her parent's came from out of state they brought a ring for her to wear when they went out in public but I couldn't tell how she felt about that. I have known a few people over the years that placed babies about the same time as I did and know it was hard for them also. However it wasn't until I came to this and other sites on the web that I realized that many, many of us had the same feelings of loss, anger and abandanment oddly mixed with the wonder and joy of these miracles growing inside of us. At the time I thought that surely the other girls were more at peace, that they had made their own decisions. I was too focused on my own little world and trying to keep it together to see that I was not the only one in turmoil. I wonder if it is because I was too hard-headed too give up until the bitter end and they had already. I don't know. What I am wondering now is was that unusual or were we all off in our own worlds?