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my husband whats to adopt my two children 7 & 9 we have been maried for three years and togeather for 6 1/2 years. he is the only father that they know i have full custody of both of them he was awarded supervized visits but has never taken any. me and the bf lived togeather one and off untill my youngest was one he was abusive to me on more than once and i pressed charges and he pled guilty to feloni spousal abuse and put on formal probation for three years well to make along story short that was 1997 he has never done anything he was sapose to do and has been arrested several times for different things but he was also arrested for spousal abuse on two separat cases with two separat girls and the charges were droped from feloni to [font=Arial]misdemeanor in both there cases and he pled guily. he has not spoken to me or any one else in my family in over six years my family has seen him around and he has seen them and has never asked about the kids. we want to do this the quickest way posible would it be eaiser to see if he would sign consent which i would have to find him have know idea were he is or just try it without consent the courts told me the i should find him. pleas any info would help.[/font][font=Arial]thank you in advance[/font][font=Arial]carrie[/font]
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Well either way he will have to be informed of the adoption. It is always easier if you can find him and get him to consent. It makes the whole process a breeze. Otherwise you have to go about terminating his rights which takes a little longer but can still be done. Especially if there has been no contact with the children for 6 years. What about child support? Does he pay any?
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Well then you obviously will not be able to ask for his consent. So you will be filing the petition to terminate his parental rights along with your adoption petition. You will do your own search for him, by internet or one of the places you can pay to search for someone and document everything. After that if you still have not been able to find him you will petition the court for an order to place the notice of adoption in the local paper for 4 weeks. And if he does not show up to court to contest the adoption, it goes through without a hitch. This is just the long process if you are unable to locate or obtain consent. He does not need to be there for the adoption to go through. Many men think that if they don't give their consent that it just won't go through, that not at all true. Their egos always get in their way. You don't have to have pushed the issue for support. If he has never paid it and has never attempted to see his children you have plenty to terminate his rights. I doubt anyone would question any of it as long as you did not move and keep the childrens location from him you should be fine.
i have moved and he has not know were i have lived sence i lived with him but my family has lived in the same place the last 20 years and he knows were they are he use to llive next store to them and they use to baby sit him for years. he always knew were all my family was and was welcome to come see the children there as long as i was not there. he even consented them to be the supervisers for the visits and came by one time the first week we were not togeather and never came back to see them six years ago. thank you for your help
If he does not know where you lived for the past 6 years you may not be able to prove abandonement. Did you change the court records when you moved? SO if he was trying to serve you and see the kids he could have went through the court. It gets a little difficult at that point, YOur best be would be to purchase the book or consult with a lawyer, What county are you in? Believe it or not that makes a big differance. You would actually not want to contact him until you actually start the petition process. That way he does not pull you back into court right after you tell him and he decides to become a father. See in my county they assist with the contact of the BF to determiine whether to terminate or what. I have heard of others when the bf finds out takes them to court and the judge gives them one more chance. Either way it is a journey, well worth it though. And I am not saying for you not to go through with it because you certainly do have a case, however you are going to have to prove that when you moved he never made any effort. Which is totally doable. Hope everthing works out and we are here to help you.
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That right there gets difficult. Yes there was abuse and a restraining order. You said he had supervised visits, What was the detail of that. How did you know if he wanted to visit the child, Did he ever take the visits? It gets complicated to prove he abandoned the child when he was told he could not contact him. But if he never supported the child you can get him for abandonement. You do have a case but there will be a few glitches, what county are you in?
My child custody case was in riverside. I know if you are asking the judge from family court they do not agree however that is not their jurisdiction. I also consulted a lawyer from there and they said the case would not go through, well it did. So this is what you should do, there is a website through the court that will help you with the paperwork. File the petition and follow their procedure. Also I will give you a website. At this website you can look up facts from your child custody case and arrest records if bf has ever been arrested in that county. This will all be strong evidence he would have to attempt to dispute when and if he shows up. Right now I would not try to contact him yet. I would wait for when you have to do it. It makes it easier this way. Regardless though he will have to know about the adoption and may contest it. HOwever you can fight him contesting it with your evidence, such as he never even did his drug testing. He never even contacted a supervisor to see the child. If he did he has to prove that not you. Burden of proof falls on him why he chose to abandone his children.
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