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I need some advice, ANY advice. My husband and I have one adopted son and we have been working for a year or so to adopt another. In July, we got a call that a baby was born in another state (we live in KS) and we could take him home from the hospital. We flew out the next day and the mother signed her rights away and all was wonderful. When we returned home, we got a call from our lawyer saying that the presumed birth father called and wanted his son. He claimed he did not know about the pregnancy. The birth mother claimed that she told him and he had then had no contact with her since the first of the year. We proceeded to adopt Josh and we were set to finalize on 9/8/06. I got a call that morning saying that the father had sent a check for a paternity test. There was no note attached that he contested and he did not have any representation at the finalization. So, we finalized the adoption but because of that check, we have to get a paternity test and we may end up going to trial if the father pursues this. I just don't know what to do! My lawyer is the type that doesn't want to give any false hope, but we have came so far - how could we lose him now????
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I really don't have any advise but I would say talk with a good adoption lawyer. All too often fathers rights are ignored in adoption. Why did the agency allow you to get this far and allow the adoption to go throgh when the father was identified and was persuing custody and clearly refused to allow his child to be adopted? I would be very angrey with the agency for allowing this to happen. Was anything legally done to notify him exc? If paternity shows that this is in fact his child and he never signed away his rights.....there is a very good chance that he can regain custody. I know thats not what you want to hear right now....but a father has rights to his children....and if this mans rights were violated....then that is grounds to overturn the adoption.
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I'm sorry that you're going through this. I do wonder, though, why your attorney went forward with finalization when there was a question about the biological father's involvement. In our case, we had to be absolutely certain that the birthfather's situation was considered and handled appropriately before we could even schedule a finalization hearing. For us, it involved some extra footwork on our attorney's part because of the difference in laws between our state and the state where my children were born.
The lawyer that I have did the adoption, there was no agency involved. The birth father was identified by the mother before the birth and had failed to support her or the baby for the entire pregnancy. She said that he knew about it, he probably just didn't know about the adoption. Our lawyer notified him as soon as we filed for adoption and we waited the right amount of days according to the statutes for KS before proceeding with the finalization. He did not ever formally contest - he jsut sent a check with nothing attached that my lawyer only assumes is the money for the paternity test. So, techincally - he never formally contested - there is just the check.
I hope this all works out for you. If you have gotten a check from the BF then you have gotten more then we have gotten.Our BF knew exactly who was raising his child and was there when we were asked to raise the child as our own.On the birth certificate she even has our last name.He has never done anything for her and has never attempted to meet her or anything.When we enrolled her in school they told us to get her legally ours.Never really thought about it till then.We got temporary custody and filed for adoption and BAM 8yrs later NC says she would be better off with him.Statues and laws mean nothing in our case.At least to this point.SO.... Good luck.We will keep you in our prayers and hope you have a fast resolution.
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All you can do is pray!! That is what we have been doing for 17 months now. From our experience prayer is all that will give you the strength to go on everyday, to know you put your trust in God and this will all be in God's hands. I know the horrific emotions you are feeling all too well. Many nights and days tears just fall down, the thought of losing a baby is just unthinkable. The only advice is to trust God and pray...St. Jude is the prayer for hopeless cases, and He has been our miracle worker!! Hold your angel tight and just love him all you can...Its so emotional hard but try to just take it one day at a time..through God's grace he will get you by the days...If you need someone to listen or advice pm me....May God Bless:wings:
Jaefer,
Well, as someone who adopted from KS AND had a contested adoption, I can tell you RIGHT NOW, what are the laws concerning bdads in the state you adopted from? B/c those are the laws you follow.
See, in KS, if bdad fails to support bmom the last 6 mos of pgy, his rights are terminated. So it all depends on what the law says in the state you adopted from.
And I have to say, you probably never should've finalized if bdad was wanting contact, custody, whatever.
And I would definitely have your lawyer look into this, you can't just let it slide.
You are probably ok but you need to have this checked out and NOW.
Also, is your lawyer an ADOPTION atty b/c you need one well versed in adoption law.
And I would assume, but maybe I'm wrong, but if he sent a check he wants to assert his rights as a father. he may not GET rights but with a check for a pat test, he IS doing something.
I am not trying to scare you but you need to be asking your atty q's and finding out the laws in the state you adopted FROM, not KS.
PM me if you have more q's since we just resolved a contested adoption (in KS).
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I am sure this must be horrible for you. I suppose you have to take one step at a time. Keep you head above water, be there for your son. Truthfully, the bfather, if he did not know about this or have a chance to consider fatherhood, there is a bit of rights afforded to him and I agree that it should be this way. Hopefully, once paternity is established, maybe, bfather will do some more thinking - but who knows. It is hard, I am sure. Keep on going though, don't let it weigh you down too much - your baby needs you. AS.