A decison I don't regret!

That is very sad for all of you...I'm sorry. You also have to remember that she is 18 years old. In time she will grow up and maybe then you will both be more capable of handling contact. How sad for your daughter to have to feel that rejection all over again and from your words it would seem that she might get the impresion that "SHE" was the reason you didn't keep her each of those times. Like something inside her is bad or not good enough or too hard to handle. I hope she realized how special and important and wanted she is (even if you can't live together...which I wouldn't recommend anyways). I wish you all happiness. Especially your birthdaughter who seems to have lost her way along the road of life.

One of the many things I have learned as a parent is that each child is different. (My husband & I raised a son & daughter together - he always said he didn't want anymore children because he had one of each and didn't try for the third kind!) In other words, your bson may be very different from his sister. As Mom2girlC says, 18 is very young. Birth parents fantasize about finding their children as soon as it is legally possible, and adopted choldren do the same. The problem is that young adults are trying to figure out who they are and may not really be rady for an adult relationship with birth parents. My son has said that had I found him at 18 or even 25, or reunion would not have gone so smoothly. I believe it is my job to love my children unconditionally (that doesn't mean I have to like or accept everything they do or say). Try not to give up on your daughter, love her and hope that she grows up to be a beautiful, mature adult. (It's that P word -patience - again.)

Eighteen is young. And in a lot of females, rather mouthy. *raises hand* Personally, my heart breaks for your daughter right now. No doubt she is feeling rejected twice. I don't think that will serve to help her demeanor and attitude. I'm not saying you were wrong, especially if she tried to destroy your marriage. I think this just further goes to prove that birthparents should REALLY think about ALL consequences before allowing adult adoptees to move in with them. Talk about boundary problems!

Agreeing that 18 is so young...she's still a kiddo. I don't think you should beat yourself up over trying to have her live with you. In my opinion, the only way to know is to try it and imo no amount of talking, therapy, or thinking will make the answer any clearer than just seeing how it goes. That's imo. It works for some people. My Aunt had her 18 year old birthdaughter move in and it went great. For others it does not. From an observer perspective, it almost seems like luck of the draw in a way. I'm sorry it went so badly for you both. Maybe after you both have time to cool off a little, the lines of communication can be open again. You've seen that for you, living together can't work right now but hopefully that doesn't mean you have to lose eachother for good.

[FONT=Century Gothic]Sorry it didn't work out with your daughter. But don't let that hold you back from meeting your son. Don't let one bad experience keep you from knowing your son. :grouphug: [/FONT]

Respectfully......... How???? How do you kick out 18 yr old out of your home? Has she completed her schooling? Does she have the life skills to survive outside your home? Did you kick her out or make arrangements for her to return to her other family? Was the move an arrangement between the adoptive family and you or between your daughter and you? Understand I am not flaming you or judging. Noone I know would kick a child out, close the door without fears and doubts about their decision and the implications. I think I may have missed an earlier post about the circumstances surrounding her living with you. Do you have ongoing contact with the amother and/or your daughter? Ann

I have been thinking about my youngest daughter. Yes I kicked her out and she moved back in with her adopted parents. But it was for the best. For I want her to graduate and the school in which she is now attending is better equipped to assist her in her learning disability so she will be able to graduate this next year. After she graduates, if she wants to contact me.. then I am all for it. Another weight: I finally told my son's biological father, my ex husband everything about our son. When he left, and our son was born premature, I decided to place him in the arms of his adopted mother. I kept his adopted family a secret from his biological father to protect our son. I knew where he was, but I lost contact through the years. His mother had changed her name/phone number I guess so I wouldn't try to find him again.I don't regret my decision for our son had lived a happy life with his family. The past 10+ years, I have been on this website in hope of finding our son. I found him a day before mother's day, this year, on another website.Since I have been "lurking" on this website, I have learned alot about reunions, the emotions, the pros and cons about birthparents trying to find/locating their biological children. Reunions are not easy. However, I look at it this way, if it is meant to be, it will happen. But if it doesn't happen, then I look at it this way, I don't regret placing my children with their adopted parents, I don't regret trying to find, locating and communicating with them. I leave the decision in my childrens hands. As the saying goes: "If you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't it never was". Being that Thanksgiving is only a few short weeks away. .. I wanted to say that I have been thankful for the support this website shares, the opinions and view of others. I am thankful that God blessed me with the opportunity to become a mother. I am thankful for my children's parents for raising them and making them what they are today. I am thankful my children, my family and my friends. God bless each and everyone of you. I wish you all a happy and safe holiday season. With much love, JudyJO

what you did you did out of love, please feel no guilt for your actions, you know yourself and understand who you are, and that is a good place to be. You do your best, and sometime it cannot be good enough, no fault no guilt.

Here, Here, hello&goodbye.Hang in there, EVENTUALLY, they grow up and it's a wonderful experience,( for the most part)dmca