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Hello, just looking for advice and to vent. I am the birthmother of a beautiful baby girl. My husband and I had talked about conceiving a child for friend's of ours who are unable to have children - we already have three wonderful boys our plate was so full so I agreed. During my pregnancy my husband and I seperated because he basically left me at the doorstep of our friends with our boys and no food or money. The adoptive couple had taken me to every dr. visit. They were in the delivery room, and with seperated husband's permission, got to cut her cord. This little baby girl even has their family name! Husband even let them take her home from the hospital and have her for four days - THEN SAID HE CHANGED HIS MIND!!!My friend's and I were devastated to say the least. After I told them the horrible news, they dropped her off with me to give back to sep. husband, but when he came to get her I couldn't let her go. Something inside me told me it wasn't right. So he left - upset ofcourse. Later, I found out he was just going to hand her over to a man that I have a restraining order against - a man who assaulted me while I was pregnate with her!!! My sep husband has NEVER even touched this baby - and was offered to hold her several times. IMO he doesn't love her, and it kills me b/c I know she would have a better life with the adoptive couple. whew - big ball of mess. I am feeling so much emotions that I am spinning right now. So, for now they are "babysitting" until we can found out what to do. So far, all the lawyers we have talked to tells us there is nothing we can do, but I can't give up hope.
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this is more than a scary situation!!! Legally your X has the right to pick up the child at any given time and nothign they can say or do will give them the legal authority to stop it.
I'd talk to a lawyer about getting a divorce...and establishing full custody of this child.....maybe scare your husband into relinquishing by threatening him with child support. Then once he has no rights then proceed legally with the adoption.
I'm sorry your all having to go through this. I wish you luck!!!
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Thank you so much - seems like we need all the luck we can get. I have threatened with child support b4, but he didn't seem to care about that - he is already 3 wks behind on his support payments of my boys. I haven't turned him in b/c we are hoping to make that a point if we can bring the issue to court. The next day after they dropped her off to me they bought diapers for her - this was even when they thought there was no chance to have her again. I called and asked him for diapers and he has yet to buy her anything. Now, tell me that's not love right there!
If he continues to be behind in child support payments to you, that's a strike against him, depending on how far this goes legally. As some of us have experienced, it's less about his wanting to parent and more about his own selfish motives. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this and trying to keep your life on target with your 3 boys. Stay strong and hold your head high. You have much to be proud of. Josie
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Sorry about the delay, I have been so busy with my boys, and trying to get a job. To answer your question: I don't know why he was going to hand the baby over to my former stepfather. He is friends with them, but I think there is a deeper motive that I am not aware of. Right now, we are working with a local lawyer. He said our first action should be a contested guardianship. The fact that he hasn't paid child support, and the fact that he has absolutely no relationship with this baby along with his work schedule will play a big part of the hearing. He has yet to ask to see her. I will keep updating our progress just incase somebody else might be in the same crazy situation as me.