Michigan Failed Adoption

Hi All,As the holidays approach I can't help but to think about you all...my dear dear friends and my own failed adoptions. It was this time 3 years ago that I thought I would be the mother of a baby girl, she was born on Thanksgiving. I drove to the midnight sale at Potterybarn and found the best pink crib set, only for the adoption to fail the next day. I was finally able to trust again after losing Baby Robby and was so close:mad: Oh how I dreaded Christmas coming around for I mourned every child that never came home to me.I have to say it was my faith in God and you all that helped me through every step of the way. So if any of you have these same feelings I understand. I too regretted Halloween, Thanksgiving, the Christmas Program at church, or the Sunday the kids would have to sing...I imagined my child and how life was so unfair. But now I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the road to get there is just not as pretty as it looks on TV. But when it is all said and done, you find the right people, friends, and community of believers it works! You can't do it alone (remember that)!! Just know I am here for you and I'm an open book...I think you all know that by now:love::love: I love you all. Lets lean on each other for this holiday season. As I end this letter in tears, for I too miss all my babies...I send to you a warm hug with love.:wings:

Thank you for those beautiful words...

AS a first mom I find "birth mom" and ''birth mother'' offensive! I also agree with OP (SadM) that we all know 'B.M' stands for birthmom and not 'bowel movement. LMAO That's the first time I heard of that on adoption boards. LOL What else is she supposed to use to abbreviate Birth mom?/non-snarky..I'm just asking. :)

I have seen birthmom abbreviated to bmom

Dear Friends,It is something how once again this time of year pulls at your heart. I just read my last post to you around this same time last year and yet I sit here in tears thinking about the baby girl I was to have on Thanksgiving, the son I lost after 4 months, the twins, and I could go on. Some people seem to think once you have the "successful adoption" life is complete as we know it. But they fail to realize that a failed adoption for us is just like losing a child to death. I still mourn probably more than my husband or family could ever know. Although the Christmas holidays are my favorite time of year, I can't help but to find sadness that no one could comprehend. In short my house to me should be filled with so much laughter, because in my mind I have lost so many children to this so called "failed adoption" thing. I would be lying if I told you it was over once you had a child. You never forget the preparations, only to box up the blankets you never got to use. You never forget boxing up the clothing that still had your child's scent. The occasional glance in the closet of the jacket you never took down, out of respect of our child that has long gone away and forgot how much you cared for him. I would be lying if I told you how much this time of year could be so joyous, yet hurts so much all at the same time.

I have read the whole thread all the way through, and hugs to you SadMomma. i hope your pain lessens in time. I am so happy to hear Shane is doing great

As I sit here thinking in the next 3 days it will be 5 years since my heart was broken into pieces. It was the day of my failed adoption of the son we had for 4 months. It never goes away and I still cry years later. I just read my postings of many years ago and all the support and love you all gave to me. I still have many friends from this support site. Keep me in your prayers during this time.

I remember when this first happened. Wishing you well...:flowergift:

Greetings everyone, November is National Adoption Month and always serves as a time for reflection for me as I think back over my adoption journey. I have great appreciation for the life long friends, support group, and connections with organizations I have made since 2006. The lost of a child is never easy and the pain never goes away. My prayer is with all of my adoptive parents and birthparents that travel the road of adoption.

So we have been feeling to "itch" and our son has been asking for a little brother or sister. He understands how he was adopted, we never hid that from him. Our son is 5 now...but all the fears I must say has returned. Our lawyer has known we have been ready for a year now, but we haven't been full swing like before. Oh how do we overcome the fears and also the fear of our son becoming attached and then something happening. We ask for your prayers.

Congratulations on being ready to adopt again! I will pray that the right situation finds you and it goes through without a hitch. I think those fears will always be there. I guess as long as you know in your heart you are ready, listen to that and know that it will happen. Good luck!!!

I am so excited for you sadmama. I am in Michigan too and sent you a fb request. I am glad you have your happy little boy and are adopting again. My kids are also 5 years apart. We adopted our son when our daughter was 5. Now they are adults and doing great!

When I first read the post I thought the asterics (sp?) were because you were calling the natural mother something else, so I was glad to read your feelings about her and wanting to help her. Some people do think the abbreviation is offensive, but I think you just assumed it was common and used it quite inoffensively. None of which helps in your previous situation. It does sound as if your agency is very unethical--apparently they led you to believe that the natural mother had terminated her rights and there was just the 28-day period after TPR to worry about, which is reprehensible, as was not letting you know that there was a question about the father and a search being conducted. It does sound as if this agency is mocking the law and should not be in business--if you can see past your own pain, which I don't diminish, I hope you will contact the regulatory agency in your state and hopefully these folks will go out of business.

I just read your entire thread as well. WOW! Well I lost a biological child and a foster son after 15 months. It was extremely hard and I'm not sure that you do ever truly get past it but you do move on. Your story was interesting to read. My thoughts are with you. I recently adopted #2. When your ready you'll know.

Wow thank you for reading my thread. I come back here and read this from time to time and still can't believe I lived to tell the story. It still hurts after all these years..but God has helped me through it. Out little guy is about to be 7 and that is a blessing. I still never forget the day our first son left us, he will always remain in my heart "my son" too.