Stories from those of you that adopted two infants at once

We adopted our boys within 6 months of each other. Although they are not twins, they are only 2 1/2 months apart in age. They are practically twins in themselves. As a matter of fact, they even are experiencing "twin-talk" right now. They ahve been with us since Bug was 2 days old and Bear was 8 weeks old. I do not know of any websites personally, but from expenience I can tell you some positives and negatives... Negatives:There are very few stores that have carts that accomodate 2 children at the same time...especially infants. Pretty much count any "adult" night out as history. The only time we left the boys to go out, it took MIL, FIL and MIL's sister to watch them because the thought itself overwhelmed them. Mind you they were only 6 and 8 months old too. Twice the mess! Twins or multiples are VERY intreaguing to people...be prepared for every kind of invasive question you can imagine...and many you can't! Instead of just learning to run in 2 different directions at once, you are going to have to learn to run in all 4! Positives:They always have each other to play with...and the bond is amazing! Twice the kisses and cuddles. Twice the joy Twice the pride Twice the love! If I had it to do all over again...I wouldn't chance a thing!! I can't express the love that eminates when I rock my babies...one on each shoulder...as they cuddle and kiss me!

We adopted twins at birth. Yes, they were and are a lot of work, but worth every struggle. You WILL get a lot of intrusive questions. My faves were "Did you use fertility drugs?" and "Did you have a Cesaerean?" HUH?!?! Why on earth would anyone want to know that about a stranger? Those questions have died down A LOT now that the girls are older (they're 5). Twin babies are just too interesting, I guess! Until the girls were about 3 or 4, we always had TWO babysitters at a time when we left them. We were lucky to have an older teenager who always brought a girlfriend along. Plus we have many family members who are more than willing to pitch and help! Our first "date night" was only a month after bringing them home from the hospital (they were two months old) - we went out for our anniversary. Bug&BearsMommy is right: stores rarely can accommodate two infants at a time. In fact, Costco is the only place I've been that has double-seated carts. When the girls were really little, I would generally leave them home with hubby while I went grocery shopping and other errands. We didn't have any intention of adopting twins and ours were the first set our agency every placed. We had exactly two weeks' notice before they were born, so thing were a bit chaotic but, as I said, worth every struggle and inconvenience! Good luck to you!

I was wanting to know what are the positives and negatives of adopting 2 at once the same ages. My husband has some reservations about once they are in school they will just have each other and not make friends on their own. If they are different ages it would be easier for them not to rely so much on each other in school. We are adopting from Guatemala and time is running out that we do not want to adopt one child and then wait and adopt another one because of the uncertainty of future adoptions. Welcome any and all suggestions. thanks. nanjogo

Nanjogo,I can only give advise from my own personal experience, growing up with a twin sister and being the only children. We were in different classes from around grade 3. Even before that, in grade 1 and 2 when we were in the same class, we had different friend and did our own thing. I'd say we were more reliant on each other when we were younger, but once we went to school we seperated and basically had our own social groups.

We adopted our two youngest children from Guatemala almost simultaneously...our daughter came home 3 months before our son but they are only 6 weeks apart in age. They are our 4th and 5th children and came home at ages 5 months and 6.5 months old. They are now just turned 3. The first year to year and a half was challenging. Part of that was dealing with five children and part of it was dealing with two small children the same age. For me the most difficult part was the logistical part of getting from point A to point B. There are times that I feel overwhelmed still, but those are fewer now. I worry whether they are getting enough individual attention and if they are thriving as much as they would be if they had been further apart in age. But then I see them with each other, how their imaginations and verbal skills are just blossoming and way beyond what other kids are at this age. And I think that is the benefit of having a sibling so close in age...someone to share life experiences, who enjoys playing at your own level. They fight like cats and dogs at times, but are also the absolute best of friends and watch out for each other. We haven't done the school thing yet. They are so different both in personality and developmentally...our daughter's strenghts are our son's challenges and vice versa. So having them in the same classroom, especially at first is not a concern for us. Good luck with your decision. It has been such a joy and so worth everything!! Kim PS. Just read the other replies and thought I would add: Yes, we get the "are they twins?" question all the time. Even had one babysitter at a church argue with our daughter who was 2.5 years old that her brother was her twin because they were the same age....but she kept saying they have different birthmommies. :) Smart girl! Also, we must be very fortunate. Every grocery store in our city has double carts. Some even have a double cart with the truck thingy in front so 4 children can ride while you shop! And while it was not always fun, I usually managed to go shopping and to Mom's meetings with either all 5 of my kiddos during the summer months or my 3 youngest during the school year.

Hi-We adopted two twice! We adopted our two now five year olds from Vietnam -They came home at 3 months of age-and are 1 week apart in age and as a first time parent- it was tough- but I would not change it- they are each other's best friends- I see that as such a positive thing - they play together for hours-we do try to develop independent activities for each of them. Our two younger ones- have just turned two and are two months apart in age from Guatemala- At times with four little ones running around - it IS hard- there is a lot of cleanup and two get into more trouble than 1 because they team up- but I still would not change it. I think you have to be ready for a tougher road- but the positives outweigh the negatives. If we adopt again I want ONE baby though-so I can see what that experience is like. Good Luck! MLRJ

Hi Marcy, We adopted twins from Guatemala and I'll be honest - it knocked my socks off. The twins were our 5th and 6th children (and our oldest was 9) so things were definately slated to be crazy. That said.....I wouldn't change a thing. The twins are so good for eachother and our family is complete by the grace of God who brought them into our lives. I wish I had been like you and studied (maybe found time to read) about parenting multiples before the babies arrived. The first year was by far the hardest and now we have a good routine and things are alot smoother. Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions. Good luck!

We were told "No one EVER gets twins from Korea." Imagine our surprise when we received that phone call. If you are first time parents you may have a difficult time on your own. If you have family close to you, that will be a huge help. Have them move in with you to help those first few weeks or months. Our boys came home at 10 1/2 months. I was so thankful that they weren't younger, because even with teen and pre-teen daughters it was a challenge to keep the boys fed and dry. (We have three older children) Night was the most difficult time because I was on my own. I wanted to let Jim sleep since he had to work the next day, and I stayed home full time. They were waking to eat about every 3 hours and at different times. By the time they were 14 months old westarted phasing out night time bottles. That was a huge help to me, just to be able to get a full nights sleep. The first 8 weeks were the hardest. Tobe fair, we were jet lagged for the first week we came home. We also came home the Monday before Thanksgiving, so we were trying to adjust and make itthrough the holidays too. We were very blessed that they were (and still are) great eaters. They did not like baby food, so I almost starved them before I figured out that their foster parents had been feeding them lots of food from the table. Because Joshua and Jacob had each other, I never really saw them grieve and miss their foster parents much. That made the transition easier because Ireally worried about giving each of them attention. I also worried about bonding with them both at the same time. All I can say on that one is I didn't bond with them at the same time and it was okay. I bonded with Joshua first then with Jacob. Jacob bonded with Jim and Rachel before he bonded with me. Now we are a normal family (well, relativly normal!). The boys never wanted to be separated though, so we had to be careful that we took them to the bath tub at the same time, etc. They slept in separate beds but close enough that they could touch through the bars. Now they are 2 years old and they are everywhere and into everything! They have learned the distraction technique, where one boy occupies me while the other is getting into something. They are climbing like moneys too! They still don't like to be away from each other. I thought I was an experienced parent, but having twins takes parenting to a whole new level. Joshua and Jacob are gifts from God, and I am crazy about them. At the same time, they push me to my limits regularly. They are bight boys who can find more mischief then I ever imagined. But I must say, there is room on my lap for both boys when we read, I get double the kisses, and have double the laughs. I wouldn't trade being a mom for anything. It is the best thing God has ever allowed me the privilege of doing. Blessings in whatever direction God takes your adoption. It is worth it! :laundry: Mom to 5 blessing!