Adopted and Alone when does the pain end

Hugs for you DJ and for the rest of us who feel alone in this world. I too have left my adoptive family and tried to make a better life and you are right, DJ, it IS hard. Moved 3 years ago to another city to get away from the abuse and manipulation and am still learning to be Me - to grow up FINALLY (at almost 50! giggle!). Hang in there, hon. It gets better (albeit slowly! lol). Hugs - MJ

genee Really good piece. I've copied it and will pass it on when I have completed MY homework. Thanks Ann

i feel the same as you do you are not alone my adopted parents started to treat me bad after their biological daughter was diagnosed with cancer so i know where you are coming from

See if you can find someone who does adoption threapy. Even check for some self help books. ARe you isolating yourself? Did you cut your bfamily off to did they just stop? Hugs

check out the chat room at adoptioncrossroads.org each night at 11 pm

i understand how you feel, only adoptees can truly know the pain of adoption. it is under-estimated how it affects us but there is help with web sites like this. seek comfort in others being the same as you, no one can heal your pain but it helps to know that they care, big hugs to you xxxx

Well I can relate to you. I havent found my Bparents yet. But growing up I looked nothing like my AParents... I dont act anything like them. Then I found out I was adopted when I was 11.. The only person I really know love me was my ADad who died when i was 15. Now my AMom... she doesnt even really know who I am.. We barely talk. we are not close at all. She doesnt try to even have a relationship with me. She hates me. And I feel so alone. The only dad I've ever had is gone. My mom.. is.... and my non-ID info read that my mother has alot of characteristics that I do.. I understand ur pain.. it will be alright.. Pray and stay strong..thats all we can do

wow!im so sry you all are feeling like thisim a birthmom and it grieves to read this i sure hope my daughter is ok and one day i can hear that from herif any of you need to chat im here most days take care and you are all special ! remember that! no matter what life throws your way we are conquerers!~:grouphug: lots of love to you all

Wow , I feel the same. I had a very well lets just say "disfunctional" Childhood. I no longer have any contact with my adopive parents. The only people who ever felt like my parents( Grandparents) are both decesed. I have made up my mind finally to find my biological parents after being told time and time again that my birth mother didnt want me then and doesnt want me now! I paid someone who I thought would find her. Ha! I was given a name and phone number and a few other things but now I havent heard from her again! When I called This woman who was suppost to be my biological mom on the phone she told me it wasnt her and we talked for a while and she told me all about her life and thats where the flood gates of tears opened! I feel very alone as well. I do not have anyone but my husband and kids! That is goodbut I thing there is a big hole that cannot be filled. I think everyone deserves to know where they come from. If you want to talk i am here and can totally relate! And there is nothing wrong with you . Everyone has these emotions too ! You gotta keep your head up !

dmartine, I hope you keep looking. You were told my bmom didn't want you then or now; your bmom may have been told to forget about you and that she had no right to look for you. I do not know what she thinks or feels; I can only tell you that I have always loved my birthson and I love being back in his life. (The little girl in my avatar is his daughter who is 4.)

I feel that you should love yourself that is the best and also as somebody is saying help others. as much you can than yu can frienship and love I would also like yu to say positive sugestions I love everyone and everyone loves me. Padma :cheer:

To All:" I did not ask for this life, that I was given. But it was given nonetheless. And with it I did my best."

Drywall, that's all any of us can do. None of us can change the past. We can work to become whole in the present. I believe that we are loved unconditionally by God, if no one else. Each of us is uniquely and wonderfully made.

Hey DJ Hang in there! Many of us on here know exactly how you feel. I came to this site recently because of that loneliness. You didn't do anything wrong sometimes things happen and we don't know why. I've asked myself that question numberous times but have finally realize it's not all me. There is something missing when we are adopted. I have talked to some many adoptees. Whether they had a good a-family relationship or not. The question I posed here now is why do most if not all adoptees have these feelings of abandonment, loneliness and relationship issues. I've been giving this alot of thought lately and come to the conclusion that we have bonded to our birth mothers before birth. When we are born and taken away from our birth mother that bond is lost. I beleive very early on baby's recognize that. Adoption is not a natural process. I'm not saying that baby's shouldn't be adopted but there has to be a better understanding of the phsycological aspect that a baby goes through when taken fron their natural mother. Anyway DJ hang in there. You are not alone in this nor will we allow you to go through this alone. You have many friends on here whether you realize it or not so come and share your thoughts.

I totally understand what you're feeling. My adoptive mother was very jealous of me for 4 years because I bonded more with my father than her. She was very jealous of the relationship I had with him and the lack of with her. In response she decided to do and say horrible things about me to my younger siblings. And she tried to pass it off that they had said that. But, I knew what she was doing. It's not necessarily you. For some reason women are just more emotional than men and when something happens that they don't know how to fix they lash out on people. But, all you have to know is it's NOT your fault. She might just have some insecurity inside that she's battling with and she's probably needing to do some therapy to work them out. Maybe you can suggest going out and doing things together. That's what I do with mine just so she'll back down. Sometimes people think that children with trauma have are the ones who constantly have to be reassured but in retrospect the adoptive parents need reassurance from the child that they love them as well.