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What are everybody's thoughts on being a gay parent? I have been thinking about adopting for ten years now but back then I was very hesitant. I have been in a stable relationship for six years now and I have read a lot lately about gay parents. There is not much on single gay fathers as much as there is about lesbian mothers.
I was just wondering what everybody's thoughts are on this subject. I am due to have my home study started very soon and I already have my eye on two special needs children.
Brad
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Go for it Brad! I think its wonderful that you want to adopt. Make sure to check out your state rules Florida (where I live) actually has a law about gays not being able to adopt (stupidest !@#$%^$ thing I've ever heard of).
Anyone who has the ability to love and nurture one of these children needs support not judgment.
Keep us updated :)
Melissa
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Thanks Melissa. I am reading a book "Too High A Price - The Case Against Gay Parenting" that is very interesting and informative. It is greatly based on the case against Florida, but also offers insight into gay adoptions. This book is downloadable from the Let Him Stay website: [url]www.lethimstay.com.[/url]
I just received word yesterday that I will be contacted very soon from Bethany Christian Services. The State of Michigan (who I am working through - Family Indepent Agency) has contracted the homestudy out to them. I am supposed to hear within the week.
Brad
On the Hallmark TV series "Adoption" they have had two segments so far about gay men adopting. It looks like in some places they do allow both people in the couple become legal parents, although it might be done by having one the legal parent initially, and then later the other becoming a "second parent" adoptive parent.
Are you planning to adopt an infant or an older child (i.e. a child that's not an infant)?
How did you find your adoption agency or professional?
I am wanting a special needs/older child adoption. There are just too many of them and I am too anxious to wait for an infant. Craig, my partner, has been working in the special education system for 14 years now and he deal with emotionally impaired children every day.
We just had our first orientation session. It went well. Michigan law requires anyone who wants to adopt to take two three hour pre-=adoption sessions. Our follow-up is September 26 and at that time then we get our application for the home study. Actually I should say I will get mine because Craig has to do a whole separate homestudy apart from me even though we live in the same home. This is because Bethany is looking at us and I am the single-parent adoptee.
I will let you know how Sept 26 goes.
Brad
Brad, it sounds like you and your partner are more than qualified to adopt. The key will be finding a good agency that values what you have to offer and will work with you. There is a good book called "The Kid" about a gay man adopting and also April Martin wrote "The lesbian and gay Parenting Handbook". More and more gays and lesbians are parenting and more are adopting and as this happens the support network and sense of community for them and their children grows. Good luck with your adoption journey.
Lee Varon
AdoptOnYourOwn@aol.com
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Another couple of resources for gay and lesbian parents is the magazine "And Baby" (which I've seen in Barnes & Noble in the US), and the website [url]http://thegaybyboom.com/[/url]
Gays and lesbians are raising kids, and are also adopting kids already. It's not really a new thing - it might just be getting a bit more public exposure now. And since there are so many children living in foster care who are waiting for adoptive parents, I think it's a crime that any prospective adoptive parents who would otherwise qualify could be disqualified just because they are gay or lesbian.
Brad and Partner (Cause I don't know your name) Good for you , I totally want to be a parent (father) too. You guys should fight for this.., you love youre child (to be, or not). Make it happen for all of us. The only thing that I really regret about being born this way is that I could never haver the joy of children that are my own. I wish you both the best and I totally hope it happens, just because you're not Rosie O' Donnell and a lesbioan with a million dollars doesn't make it right, but the gov't says, " Hey it's Rosie, she's a Lesbian, and worth a fortune, let's give her 5 kids!!!!":
How wrong is that!!!! Hi! O 'J' Is that you.....do U have CASH?!
Craig and I have just completed the first phase of the homestudy. We have our second interview this Wednesday and then the actual home interview will be set the. EVerything is in motion and seems to be going pretty quickly. We finally have a great agency on our side. I will update when more happens. Thanks to everybody who has responded to this post positively.
Brad
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For the homestudy we are being treated as a partnership or "team" so there does not have to be two separate homestudies. But when it comes to the actual adoptions, it will be just myself and then Craig. We are looking at siblings (brother/brother) in which I would adopt one and then he would adopt the other and they would still be together.
Brad
Brad-
If you've got love in your heart and room in your home, parenthood is for you, regardless of the gender of your mate. It can be just as rewarding and just as difficult as for a straight couple or single person.
If it's your dream, don't let anyone stop you.
I have a gay friend who's single and he has twins. I'm not sure how he does it, but he does and his kids are great. I also know a couple of gay couples and they have great families.
Keep us in the loop!
-Brett
Brad-
If you've got love in your heart and room in your home, parenthood is for you, regardless of the gender of your mate. It can be just as rewarding and just as difficult as for a straight couple or single person.
If it's your dream, don't let anyone stop you.
I have a gay friend who's single and he has twins. I'm not sure how he does it, but he does and his kids are great. I also know a couple of gay couples and they have great families.
Keep us in the loop!
-Brett
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