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Did anyone else experience postpartum depression after placing their child? I did with my son five and a half years ago, not the baby blues, it was a clinical thing that I inherited from my Mom as she was diagnosed with depression as a teenager. Its so unnatural to have to get professional help because of serious suicidal thoughts that you have no control over (despite the horrible thoughts I would have NEVER attempted suicide because I am a Christian). But I never thought you could experience anything so awful, and then not have your baby (which was a very healthy thing for him during that time) made it so much worse. That is why I am now studying Christian Counseling at graduate school and trying my best to work to make sense of it all (someday I'll write a book).
I always thought that "mental illness" only occured with the totally destitute, but I have always been very educated and "sophisticated" so when it hit me it was overwhelming, on top of so much else. I wouldn't change it though because it has made me so much stronger. But the reason that I've considered foster parenting or even adoption later on is I'm afraid to have more of my own kids after such a life-threatening experience, I'm about 50% likely to go through something similar again. Would I be too irrational to never have more biological children for this reason?
Also, clinical depression is very genetic and my Mom and I both had it in our late teens, I'm concerned that my birthson may get it later. Also, his birthfather had several issues (like dyslexia, ADHD, and later OCD). Not much I can do about that now, but its important for his aparents to take proper precautions. I'm worried they won't see the signs or give him the proper treatment and support if he needs it because they're a bit sheltered and haven't been through anything along those lines. They're very well off, both have huge families and he is the only adopted child (they have 3 other biological kids). I'm worried that if he becomes a problem child, things could get tough when comparing him to the 3 biological kids. I didn't consider this during the adoption because I thought I would get to visit him all the time, but they may never let me see him again because they are very "protective." I think if he doesn't know how much I love him and his parents don't know how to tell him or say nice things about me, it could make the psychological problems worse in the long run. This is serious. I've heard stories of adoptive kids with such clinical diagnosises committing suicide because they feel unloved or not good enough even when the birthmom wanted to have a relationship but wasn't allowed to- how horrible would that be for everyone?
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soulquest81
Did anyone else experience postpartum depression after placing their child? I did with my son five and a half years ago, not the baby blues, it was a clinical thing that I inherited from my Mom as she was diagnosed with depression as a teenager.
Yes, I experienced post-partum depression (PPD). I would venture to say that the majority of birthmoms have even if they have not been properly diagnosed. There are many factors that contribute to post-parum depression. In it's purest form it is a chemical imbalance. Mothers with "it all" can have it. Mothers with no family history can have it (though there is a slightly higher likelyhood with family history). Mothers who never had it with previous children can develop it. Mothers who had it once may never get it again.
PPD can be exacerbated by loss, stress and lack of support... all three, BTW, which are a part of losing a child to adoption for most birthmoms. Some of the grieving process also has the same symptoms as clinical depression/PPD, so many times PPD is diagnosed and the issues of loss are swept under the rug.
soulquest81
Its so unnatural to have to get professional help because of serious suicidal thoughts that you have no control over.
It is not unnatural. You got medical help while pregnant. You would get help if you had a sore throat, or a broken leg. Depression is an illness like any other.
soulquest81
I always thought that "mental illness" only occured with the totally destitute, but I have always been very educated and "sophisticated" so when it hit me it was overwhelming, on top of so much else. I wouldn't change it though because it has made me so much stronger.
Mental illness, depression, is a disease like any other. It happens to people in all classes and socio-economic levels, all races, all creeds.
soulquest81
But the reason that I've considered foster parenting or even adoption later on is I'm afraid to have more of my own kids after such a life-threatening experience, I'm about 50% likely to go through something similar again. Would I be too irrational to never have more biological children for this reason?
Only you can make that decision. You know the signs now though, and, hopefully your situation would be different. I did not have PDD with the subsequant children I have.
soulquest81
Also, clinical depression is very genetic and my Mom and I both had it in our late teens, I'm concerned that my birthson may get it later.
Many teens grapple with depression. There are different types of depression. Most teens who have depression will not see it develop into a life-long struggle. Certainly how it is handled and addressed makes a big difference.
This is something you should be learning in school. How far into your program are you? There are some good clinical books on post-partum depression as well as books on birthparent grief (there is also some good research on this as well.).
Again, I would encourage you to go into counseling in order to fully understand and process all that has happened to you. As a therapist myself, getting to the point of feeling that my experience was understood and integrated was important to me before I began to help others heal and understand their experiences. I hope you find someone. It sounds as if you are still struggling in many ways.
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I just finished my first semester, my undergrad was in business not counseling/psychology. I know about PPD and I've read about most disorders in the DSM IV-TR, on a practical level though it is still tough to get over the social stigma of depression and other mental illnesses related to it (PTSD came later for me after combat in Iraq).
I'm in a devoutly religious community and some people think that "psychology is of the devil," and they want to just "cast the demons out and toss the meds in the trash." I'm a strong Christian but I also try to be practical, I'm still working on integrating my faith with psychology. They should not conflict.
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soulquest81
But the reason that I've considered foster parenting or even adoption later on is I'm afraid to have more of my own kids after such a life-threatening experience, I'm about 50% likely to go through something similar again. Would I be too irrational to never have more biological children for this reason?
I don't think that's irrational. It sounds like you've thought it out well - something terribly damaging to you happened after your last birth, and you choose to avoid the possibility of it happening again. Lots of women decide not to have more biological children after similar experience - for example after especially painful C-section problems, or morning sickness that devastates them for months.
However, I just want to warn you that Post-ADOPTIVE Depression can happen, too. So can depression after a foster child leaves your home, especially those times the child leaves to move back with biological family who still appear incapable of taking care of the child. Search this site for "Post adoption depression" or the acronymns "PADS" or "PAD" to learn more about this.
So whatever you choose - please be careful. I encourage you to have your help lined up in advance so you have one less thing to have to look for and decide on should severe depression hit again.
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soulquest81
I'm in a devoutly religious community and some people think that "psychology is of the devil," and they want to just "cast the demons out and toss the meds in the trash." I'm a strong Christian but I also try to be practical, I'm still working on integrating my faith with psychology. They should not conflict.
I am a Christian and I do not see therapy/psychotropic medication as conflicting with that. Illness is part of the world. We need to use those things avaliable to us to understand and heal us. You wouldn't not take insulin and use prayer if you were a diabetic.
I had someone close to me commit suicide because she quit her medication thinking that if she were a good Christian, prayer should be enough. God wanted her to be healed and whole. I do not know what it will take for some Christians to realize that prayers are answered in many ways.
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I have found this attitude as well among some Christians and I find it unfortunate. I am a seminary grad with an MA in Theology, my mother and uncle are both pastors as are a few of my closest friends- just to back up the "Christian credentials". Honestly, this attitude usually comes from ignorance-- about medicine, psychology, theology and what it means to be human and be a Christian. Nothing in Scripture, in Christianity contradicts seeking help for human issues. We are made of blood and bone, and also of complex chemical and hormonal reactions, emotions and experiences. Most of the people that hold the opinions you related wouldn't refuse to take someone having a heart attack to the ER and just want to "pray away" the demons of heart attack. Sure, pray for healing. And get to the ER. Same with psychological issues and PPD. Pray for healing. And get to the doctor/psychiatrist. It would be silly to pray for healing while refusing to use methods of healing that are readily available.
God can do wonderful things. That doesn't mean that to do anything ourselves consitutes a lack of faith. We are to be responsible productive people, contributing to the lives of others around us and graciously accepting, and thanking God for, the people around us who can offer help and healing by using their God-given gifts, talents and abilities who are acting out their callings by loving people through healing them. Are all doctors unbelievers because they don't just think God should do it all? No! God made them and called them to bring healing to others with their hands and their brains. God gives people talents, gifts, abilities and callings and to use those is NOT a lack of faith. It's part of interacting with all of God's creation which includes the people and even the medications that can offer us healing.
I'm glad you educating yourself. Faith should never fear education, because truth has nothing to fear from investigation. You are right that they should not conflict. The truth is, they don't conflict.
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Faith should never fear education, because truth has nothing to fear from investigation.
Beautiful... Mind if I quote you?
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I think a book named "Down came the rain My Journey Through Postpartum Depression" by Brooke Shields would be a relevant study on postpartum depression support. I hope that it's useful.
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