Contested Adoption

We also have a 20 month old (as of today!) and had a contested adoption. It was decided in our/bmom's favor on all levels, even in appeal. I am blown away by the fact that the BF in your case can do nothing but this still keeps dragging on. How is that? There has to be some sort of deadline! I can't believe he can wait till your angel is say...6 and THEN do something. What does your atty say? How long do you have to wait? There HAS to be some sort of deadline!!??

In most states there is a law of abandonment - where if there has been no contact or support for a period of time (say 1 year) the court will terminate parental rights. I can't believe that your case is still pending! I would seriously consider seeking out another attorney, or pushing yours to be more aggressive. I would insist that they file a motion to TPR based on abandonment. The worst that could happen is it would be denied, but at least the ball would be rolling again.

Statute: ǧ 5-313; 5-525.1(b)(1) Circumstances That Are Grounds for Termination Failure to Maintain Contact Failure to Provide Support Child's Best Interest Child in care 15 of 22 months (or less) A court may grant a decree of adoption or a decree of guardianship, without the consent of a natural parent otherwise required by law, if the court finds by clear and convincing evidence that it is in the best interest of the child to terminate the natural parent's rights as to the child and that: The child is abandoned; The following set of circumstances exists: The child has been continuously out of the custody of the natural parent and in the custody of a child placement agency for at least 1 year; A local department to which a child is committed shall file a petition for termination of parental rights or join a termination of parental rights action that has been filed if: The child has been in an out-of-home placement for 15 of the most recent 22 months;

Our lawyer is saying the longer we have the baby the better. I will however be pushing for this to go to court once our angel turns 2- that way its one year from the date of birth plus one year that the birth father knew of the results from dna...That way we are covered. The birth mom is still on our side for the adoption moving forward. I just wonder our chances since the birth father never actually signed off. It seems to me from the ones contested on this forum the adoptive parents are in favor when the time is over a year. Hopefully this will be the case for us also..

I guess I am confused also to the fact of can a birth father just not sign off and set back and wait for a court date, or for us to take this back to court. Wouldn't he have to show some effort on his part other then sending in contesting the adoption. While I have seen some adoptions fail for the adoptive parents only when a birth father had not known of the child or the adoption. This is totally different..he very well knows and is completely aware.

I am with Billysmommy; what does your atty say? To just sit and wait? There must be something on the books or some law concerning this esp as you say, BF has known and does nothing. Have you considered getting another atty? JMHO but sounds like he/she is not being very proactive, that is, unless the law states that you must sit and wait (but judging from your posts, I don't believe that to be so...)

I think you should listen to your lawyer. The longer you have custody without the BF actively challenging it, the more likely you are to win.

Well, I have hired and fired four attorneys and we are now 4 1/2 YEARS into it. Think about it: this is a money-making machine for the lawyers. They LOVE to drag it out. In my case the birthmother has FIVE lawyers all being paid for by the state. Now isn't that grand? I get to pay mine and hers too. Stacy - get another attorney if you feel like you need to, but you also need to know that the expenses mount with each attorney as they must read up on and study the history of the case before they even begin to actively work on it. Also, I don't think it has looked good for me going to each of the trials with different lawyers in front of the same judge. I would love to find someone who would actually be aggressive in ENDING my case - (praying it is my current lawyer) - but it may be unwise to lawyer-hop as I have. The unfortunate bottom line is that lawyers make a great deal of money on these cases and do not seem inclined to let go of that new car/boat/house very easily. And I am talking lawyers on ALL sides. How can one ever get a case resolved when this is going on? Just be wary Stacy - because a new lawyer might only be looking out for themselves (again - fingers crossed about my latest attorney). billysmommy - which state is that statute from? (It sounds almost identical to Alabama - but the judge in my case said a minor (under age 19) can not abandon a child, no matter the circumstances, and therefore the statute did not apply). I think of and pray for all of us going through this.

That is what confuses me about contested adoptions. How can a contested adoption go on for so long? I want more than anything to believe that ours could definitely be an easy win since its over one year. However sometimes I see on her cases for 4 years just going back and forth to court. That is ridiculous. Its just so hard to find peace or closure. Emotionally and financially drained and yet still holding on to hope that soon the adoption will be final. :flowergift:

In our case, part of what the judge decided is that it is in Natalie's BEST INTEREST to stay with us. It will be a year in January and it did matter to him that she had been with us that entire year. Of course there were many other factors but just want to give you some hope that time IS in your side. I have a good feeling about you, Stacey and Christie also. I know how hard the wait is and wish I could make it go away for both of you (and all of you on this board). Trust God. It IS on His altar and He is in charge, even when those who wish to do us harm for selfish reasons think otherwise. Hope my words help. My prayers are certainly with you. Josie

Because there is no place for common sense in the law!I am acquainted with a Georgia case that ran eleven years and was never resolved. In short, the parents divorced, mother got custody of the girl, father got visitation. Then father moved to New York City and remarried. He continued to pay child support but refused to visit and did not have the child come visit him. Mother remarried and had a son with step-father. When girl was 14 she told stepfather she wanted him to adopt her. Now girl has had NO contact with bio-father for six years, but he has sent regular checks. Bio-father flatly refuses to consent to adoption. He says as long as he keeps paying support he doesn't have to have contact and he doesn't WANT contact, just wants to be sure step-father does not take HIS property. Lawyers and courts in both states get involved. Finally when girl is 18 years old child support stops, but she is now too old to be adopted, so she goes to court and has her surname changed to that of her stepfather. Technically she is still daughter of bio-dad, but now the whole family has the same name.

You are so correct!!! I have seen for myself these cases. Prior to our precious angel..We took care of a little boy who's father was in and out of his life. That situation was different we did not have custody was just helping the mother out on occasions. The father after 5 years appears and wants his visitation which he of course got. Well, as time went on the visits were less and less...and now he is sometimes more out of his life then in. I can guarantee if God forbid our angel has to go back ...I want the judge to check in a year and I know the birth father will not be a part of his life. He is not now, so what difference could there possibly be. Chances are no commitment to begin with, no effort to regain your child back just clearly shows lack of interest.