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We are starting into the adoption process, but as a military spouse, I allways do all my home work, and completely prepare for every situation. I have a note book, "incase" that I keep some where at my desk. So that if the worst thing would happen. It's all right there for who ever is holding me together. After last night and the Presidents speach, I realized we got lucky 3 times now, as my husband missed the "deployments" to Iraq due to Army mix ups with papers or he was sent right time to train or be trained. With that in mind, what happens if we are in the middle of choosing a child, as we are looking for a school age child to adopt, and he is deployed? I am hoping the answer is, as part of the homestudy etc, this is all addressed, and so forth. That the process could continue with me personally and him from afar. When we had gone threw the process before he was over seas for part of it as well. But it progressed until I got hurt. So does anyone for the state of PA, know? The military life is a big fact of life now for a lot of families. Is this something we should just talk out and work out with our CW? And...... while I am tossing out the little anagrams or what ever they are called... Is there a list of these things somewhere? I have been online for 12 years and refering to your husband as DH, allways meant... a derogatory term.... and I will never refer to him as such.. he may be a man and a pain in my butt sometimes, but! I love him and would never do that. So is there a list of these and meanings? I am no dummy, but a few I just can't figure out
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My husband is Army, but by the grace of God he got picked up for recruiting duty right after Sept. 11th. After he did his 3 years we opted to stay, not b/c we like the job. Trust me it stinks!!!! But we have younger children and we are wanting more and him being here safe, healthy, and in the right state of mind out weighed his career goals. He has 6 years till retirement and he was in an avaition unit that has delpoyed numerous times. We want NO part of it!!!! As far as deployment and adoption that is hard. If it were me and my spouse was getting deployed I would put things on hold. It is sooo hard when they come back. You have to get back into routine, you have to get reaquainted, etc. If you add a child that your spouse has never met into the mix, esp. if you don't have anyother children, I think it would be difficult. Just my two cents. I don't think an agency can stop you from adopting during a deployment, but it may change your homestudy and they may want to know that you have a strong support system in place. Good luck!!!
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Hi GeeGee! There are almost as many acronyms in adoption as there are in the military (not really - LOL). There's a list of them under Quick Links in the grey bar near the top of this page. We have decided to adopt internationally and have chosen a country that will allow me to travel without hubby if need be. I'm less informed about how military service would impact the process of domestic adoption. We did talk as part of our homestudy about the military and deployments and how they impact our lives, and what our plan is for childcare and support in case of deployment (or worse).
well he isn't set to deploy with those going now, just makes me wonder if somewhere in the middle of it he does get the word?
I can see the point of coming home, it is it's own little world by far. I can see a child in the mix to make it hard, but you would have to know us, I don't think it would make it any harder on our family. May make it a tad different or better in some ways.
We are a strange bunch for sure. There is allways someone "staying" with us, living with us, and so forth. So I don't think it would be to abdormal, infact easier transition, my husband because of his military and deployments till now is more the passive parent.
Over the last 2 years I have said... You do deal with this or that, because he is here, and can... LOL and it's fun to see how he deals with things.
I am the head of the house, I completely rule the roost and he is great and content with that. It works well for us. We are very happy and content.
I guess we should just make sure we address it during the home study, and assure them in how we are as a couple and family. This way if it does happen, it won't be such a big thing I guess.
*shrugs*
Well I made a phone call to the lady i spoke to last week about it all.
I have a big mouth and a forward person and you all in chat, after reading so much I realize this is one time and situation will it will not get me in any trouble *wink*
So! If for any reason in any point of the process, my husband deploys it will not stop to process, once monday is over!
I will post something about monday in another thread. I come to find out and answer my own question completely, you have to address this with the case worker or folks you are working with! Is it a concern for them? If so, how is it a concern etc.
I spoke directly to the lady who will be doing our home study as well. So I will be posting my own answer to my own fears there as well... LOL
Bet that's something new for you all, someone asking then coming back and answering their own "yes I was being dramatic for nothing" questions.
Brightest blessings and hopefully someday I will end up being a helper not a asker...
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I just wanted to let you know a tidbit of my story. My husband and I have one son through an identified independant adoption. Basically, I got a call one night about a girl who was pregnant and looking for a family for the baby. I said that we definitely wanted the baby, and emailed my husband, who had just left for a deployment to Afghanistan. The baby was due 6 weeks after his return date.
I hired a private home study agency, and we did everything we could without him present. The social worker typed everything up, leaving his parts blank, and we waited for his return home. She even did the in home study without him. All that was left to do once his plane landed was one meeting with him and one with us together. We did them in the same day, the day after his return. You should have seen his poor, jet lagged eyes! Anyway, thank God we did it that day, becuase our son must have heard daddy was home and arrived 2 days later.
Moral of the story, take advantage of hubby while he is there. If deployment worries are on the horizon, request the social worker concentrate on completing anything that he must be there for.
Good luck, and God bless!