Different type of adoption

I feel this is right for us and B mom its what we all want. My heart tells me this is supposed to be our baby that god put this in front of us for a reason. Emotion is getting my right now, Ive been crying 4 hours now, figured I would have run out of tears by now. My husband should be home in a few minutes. He feels the same way that god wants us to have this baby. I dont know where to look for any help with the $$ situation. On top of the adoption cost we do need to move to have room for her and thats going to cost too. We are both in school but my husband will be done before she is born. I feel she is our baby. I have dreamed of her even before I knew she existed. Last november I had a dream about a baby, it was our baby but clearly not bio, she was a carmel color with a headfull of beautiful curly hair and had a green tint to her eyes. This baby is due May/June and my birthday is june, my moms orignal due date with me was May. I just feel this baby is meant to be ours. We dont even know if its a girl but I feel this is the baby I dreamed of. I am just so emotional right now. I know things Im saying may not make sense but my eyes are blury and Im shaking and just so upset. When DH gets home it will be a cryfest for both of us. He was at work when I called him and he was holding back the tears and hes a man that dosent really show emotion.

The first way to cut expenses is to not move. Babies require alot of room in your heart, but very little in your home. Do you have room in a dresser drawer? Ideally we would all start out in a five bedroom house with a giant yard with a white picket fence and a golden retriever, but it's just not what happens in most cases. I know there is more prep in adoption usually, but think of all of the bio parents that start out with less than you have now, and make it. Dont let what you dont have stop you, if there is room in your heart there is room in your home. You can always upgrade later. Also do you know about the adoption tax credit? If you can pay on a loan until next Feb. you may be reimbursed all of your costs. It's definately worth chicking into. I also wonder what the rules would be for foster adoption of your baby. Someone else may be able to answer whether or not if the baby is surrendered to the state if he/she could be placed with you. It would take alot longer to adopt but it would be less expensive, if that is even possible, I dont have any idea. There are organizations that strive to make adoption affordable. I am sure that they would be able to help you out quite a bit. If you feel like this is your baby then you cant give up!!! Where there is a will there is a way, afterall.

This off the subject, but are the police involved? A child has been raped. If not, why has no one reported this?

Thanks Kim for your reply. My emotions have calmed and after alot of research I just feel like this will happen SOMEWAY. I am not a person to preach alot about god and everything but I do believe he does things for reason. Today more things have come about and my husband just says we will do this some way. A loan is out because we had bankruptcy in November, we have gotten a credit card since then with a low limit and thats to build up credit to buy a house next year. Also got a wonderful call today, my aunt and uncle who owe us $4500 are transfering $1500 into my account tomorrow morning! That is going to cover my school tuition this semester and then our income tax will cover my husbands grad cost and finals as well as his state test so that is a bunch of money that would have come out of our pockets thats been handed to us pretty much. That gives us oh $2300 or so to work with that we would not have had otherwise. Plus my husband should have a better job right out of school and making more money to cover this. Talked to FIL today he is talking to the Bfamily tongiht and will call me back. But he remember my DHs cousin adopted her friends baby about 3 years back and knows she did not pay near what we are being told because she wouldnt have been able to. She was single but really wanted the baby. Hes going to get the name of her lawyer and also my lawyer friend is talking to someone she knows who does adoption tomorrow. If this is meant to be it will be. Thanks so much for the support. And I was told by the agency dont worry about the baby not having a room of its own. It just needs a crib and they need to know that you do plan on moving before the child is 1 year old. So good news is coming in :)

The police are not involved because at this point there is no proof she even had sex with this man in his 30s and she wont say. The only way to prove it is after the baby is born with a DNA test. Also the man has kinda laid low lately and not come around. I do know that if this baby was fathered by the 30 something man (the only way to prove they had sex) that he will be going to jail. She was actually raped in a walmart bathroom about 10 months ago by a man she did not know and was in a residential treatment facility for 6 months, she got pg shortly after coming out.

I am not sure if you have heard, but there is a tax credit for adoption as well. If the baby is born in May / June, you would probably be able to finalize by the end of the year so you could claim it next year. Could you get some family to lend you money? Do some research on it. You may not be able to get the full amount back next year because it is based on your tax liability. You might have to spread it over a couple years. Otherwise, E-Bay stuff, yard sales / bakes sales, etc. Check around with other attorneys. Our adoption was an agency adoption, but we had to get an attorney also. Our legal fees were $1800. We spoke with another attorney and it was going to be about $3000. So, look around. You will have to have a home study which is usually between 1 and 2 thousand, but again, call around and see. Some states allow a social worker to do home studies independently which might be cheaper. I hope all of this helps and let us know if you have specific questions.

We got alot of good news over the past couple days, Bmom is not as far along as though, only about 10 weeks, baby due in August. Gives us a little more time to get the money together. We will be talking to the family in the next couple days. I did not know that C.'s mom has been in the hospital since she got back into town Saturday night. Hopefully we can sit and talk on Thursday sometime before my DH goes to work. We have a lawyer that will do this pro bono, its a friend of a friend and she is fresh out of school but is very well versed in adoption. While in law school she worked as a DCFS case worker and has processed several adoptions this way since graduating. I just need to collect ALL the info from C. including bdad info, it must be had for this lawyer to proceed so she can protect us as well as herself and C. she also has a place that is very reasonable on homestudies. Looks like this will work as long as we find out who bdad is and he and his family agree. Because C. is underage her parents do have to consent to the adoption as well but we know they do (they are the ones who pushed for abortion and she refused) hopefully bdad is underage and him and his parents do the right thing too. Pray for us and Ill update when I get more info :)

Queen i sent you a PM. Hope it helps, PM me back if you need some names.

Well we are finally able to sit down and talk with bfamily tomorrow!! My DH talked to the bgrandpa yesterday and he said they are "adamant" that we adopt the baby. They are relieved that someone they know wants the baby, C. was having a hard time thinking about giving the baby to someone she did not know. So keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer.

Well........How did it go? I hope that it went really well, keep us posted.

Its not going. They never showed up to our meeting Friday night, never called. We left several messages and didnt get a return call. I got ahold of her mom last night and she was screaming in the background (s answered) about not wanting to talk to me. She got on the phone and fed me a bunch of bs. Now they dont know what they are doin because S has said there may be other fathers after naming this one guy. I just wont go through 6 months of not knowing when I have alot of other things to focus on that will make other adoptions happen in the future (finishing school, dh getting masters, I work 2 jobs) I told her mom to just keep us posted and closer to when the baby is due we will talk more. I told her she must not understand what this meant to us and that we would have to come up with $1500 to retain a lawyer and stuff and she just said "oh" but I told her we would not do that until we knew for sure what they wanted. So for now the adoption is a no go.

I am so sorry to hear that!!! I think that you are totally right in going on with your life and trying to get yourself to the point that you will feel good about actively seeking a child. It is really kind of you to leave the option open for the emom and her family. It may work out, but that crazy family obviously doesnt respect eachother or you and your family, so I applaud you for not telling them where they could go. The best I can do is hope that you are at the point that you want to be at soon, and will be able to grow your family. Keep us up on any changes in your situation. Kim PS ((((hugs)))

Been reading about your situation and hope that all's going well. The $$$ demands can be so stressful, especially knowing you'll have a baby to care for on top of it all. Ideally we all want to be in "just the right place" in our lives before becoming parents, but I'm convinced no such place truly exists. The costs may seem high, but it has helped me to compare them to the costs of everyday material goods (i.e. my car). My only concern for you is to be cautious about becoming too heavily involved this early in the pregnancy. Your home study can take up to 90 days, so allow some time for that, but remember you can hold off on some of the other stuff until the situation is more concrete. What's meant to be will be, but as our agency says "remain cautiously optimistic"!

Just read your story. How are things going? Have you been able to talk to the family? I hope that you are able to work this out. I am praying for you!!! I know that the 13 yr old (and parents it seems) are not capable of raising this child. How was the 13 yr old able to go out and sleep with multiple men/boys? YUCK!! I really hope this works out for you. Seems like in the best interest of the child.

Her parents are just being stupid so right now we are doing nothing and we will do nothing until the baby is here. How she was able to go out and sleep with multiple people is her parents give her no attention and never have, shes been allowed to run since she was a toddler. I dont think its "yuck" as you said. Ive known her since she was 6 years old, she made a mistake as did her parents. Everyone makes mistakes.