Not being appreciated.....

I guess that is why God decided that women should have the children. We are the only species that can multi task!!

I think some of your husbands MUST BE related to mine! I never really get into this topic with anyone because then I feel guilty. I am a SAHM to my 3 1/2 yr old son. My DH works a lot so that I can stay home. That's where the guilt part comes in. He absolutely never makes me feel guilty, that's all me. We had agreed way before DS came along that I would stay at home and for the most part it works out great. However, there are those breaking point times when all I want is some basic help and he acts like he has no clue what I am talking about. He sees me running around like crazy and is still completely oblivious to what's going on. Mostly because our tv is also blasting Sports Center as I'm trying to make dinner or clean or anything. Sometimes it just takes me "flipping out" to get a response and then he's like, "well why didn't you just ask?" It is definitely a male thing. He is a great husband, father, friend, etc... He just makes me nuts sometimes. And as far as multitasking goes, HAHAHA, that's just funny!!

The only form of multitasking my DH can handle is reading SI while watching ESPN and drinking a beer. He would say that is a good example of him doign 3 things at once. :grr: I do have to say, though, he is watching Timo right now....while he watches a movie on TV. The last time he tried to do this, Timo got into a bottle of Tums that was next to the couch. Why is that I am the one who has to call Poison Control when DH is supposed to be watching him? OK, I am supposed to be napping....better go do that! :flower:

Go Dawn go. I hope you get a nap for a lot of us!! LOL

This thread made me laugh, because it reminded me of the day I really, truly wanted to kill my husband by slowing strangling the life out of him with the diaper bag strap. My son was about 2 (and weighed like 30 pounds naked). I walked in with the kid in his snowsuit on one hip, briefcase, purse AND diaper bag over my shoulder. I had been up at 6, dropped kid at daycare, commuted to city 45 minutes away, worked all day, commuted back, picked kid up, drove home. It was now 6:15 p.m. What did I see? My husband, who had been home for at least an hour, shoes off, sitting on the sofa, with the mail and newspaper spread out everywhere. What did he say? "Hi, what's for dinner? I am hungry." I swear it was the closest I ever came to killing someone. Needless to say, we had a little chat after that. I didn't mind cooking, but he needed to get changed and be ready to take the kid off my hands while I did it. Then we would switch for after dinner. I would play a game or something with the kid while the hubby cleaned the kitchen. But in the long run, by the time my son was 5 and my hubby was traveling nearly all the time, it was part of the reason why I stopped working for 9 years, only going back to full -time after my son was 14. He doesn't know how lucky he was that day...hehehehe. Robin

I think they are all related! I had a mini meltdown on Friday because of this exact issue---no sleep in days, a client deadline, an 8 a.m. meeting and he's still in bed while the baby's crying, the dogs are barking to be let out and I need to shower. It's embarassing, but I actually sobbed all the way through my shower. I'll give him this---I got flowers Friday morning. I think what bugs me is not so much that DH is unwilling to help, but that he can't figure out what to do without directions. The problem is that he sees it as a "Why didn't you ask?" and I see it as "Why do I have to ask?" Apparently his home came with the magical laundry doing, dishwasher emptying, baby bathing fairy. For a long time I thought it was because he was an only child and his mother spoiled him pretty badly (she's still apologizing to me about it.) Looking at these replies, I can see it has less to do w/ being an only child and more to do w/ his Y chromosome! Usually I just get him back by pretending that I do not know how to use the drill, caulking gun, power screwdriver, hedgetrimmer, etc.

I just saw this and THANK GOD I did. I had a MAJOR MELTDOWN last week with DH. Although he definitely helps out a lot, he also gets "breaks" (goes out occasionally with friends, etc.). Although he was "home" this weekend, he would not give me 30 minutes to myself so I could watch the end of a movie. The very, very few times I have been out, he is like, "When are you coming home?" so I feel guilty going out at all.....I am the kind of person who NEEDS alone time, and yet I get none of it. I am glad to know that I am not alone!!!

I don't have a DH...just 3 boys...oh, and it just so happens that one of them is 35 years old!! The bad thing is that the toddlers clean up after themselves better than my "oldest"!!

I HAVE THE SOLUTION!!!! I had the WORST migrane today, and can't take my prescription. Tylenol is as strong as it gets these days. Anyways, I was so sick I couldn't pick up after Timo, or anything but lay on the couch and watch him play. I told my mom I was taking a sick day from being a SAHM. I was going to pretend I was DH babysitting. WELL.....he walked in and the house was a MESS, dishes were piled up, Timo was tearing around the house like a crazy boy, the dogs were laying on the couch, and dinner wasn't even a thought. I had made Mac and cheese w/hot dogs for Timo, and that was what I was prepared to feed him. He actually came home early tonight, so it was nto as bad as it could have been!! Well, he sent me off to bed, and by the time I came out, everything was back to normal. Well, besides the child. He was still tearing around the house. Like he ever stops! So, ladies, you need to have a headache tomorrow. Show your man what life would be like if we acted like *them*. I wonder how many it can work on......or how long it will last? One night is good enough for me!

oh my, I am in tears... laughing hysterically... But i can offer a bit of help that I learned and we are all inteligant ladies! how come you all didn't realize this?? We are the glue that holds it all together... if we are not there... everything falls apart. Men can pretend to and fake it well in our abscense.. but by all rights this is just fact. Like the foundation of the house, our hubbys, kids, bills, are the building blocks used, we are the morter that holds it all in place. So the home rests on top of it. take away the mortor.... I don't think the one hubby above asks, "when will you be home" to be selfish, but more so out of self concern. A few stupid things I learn and I know you all just... *cough* love my analogies. IF we look at men as bulls standing in a field, and us women as a butterfly fluttering about the same field drinking nector from the flowers. The wind blows *problem, stress, life* what happens to the bull? Probably snort back at the wind and go on choping on the grass and flowers. Now what does that breeze do to the butterfly?? Completely knocked off course. To be comical? It was probably the bull passing gas to cause the wind... :) So here are a few more that may help you either at least smile, or understand them better. Men for many things are like microwaves. Turn the knob in an instant on... cooking... in the mood... mad... etc... DING! over... open the door touch anything inside and no more heat generated... nothing! It's on, or off.. no inbetweens. Women are crock pots.... Turn the knob and it takes a while for them to heat up.... be in the mood... stew and build up heat till they are actually cooking *anger, frustration etc* Then there is "keep warm mode" and "off" which take a few hours to "cool down to be touchable" Ok ok last one I promise, because of the ones above... invision a feather in one hand and a brick in the other. Most things men say like "when you going to be home" question of just wonder and caring as they see it. Intrusive and mean to the woman. So to a fella, it's like droppig a feather... and it floats down to the ground... "no big deal" to a woman.... BAM drop the brick. I know they all sound dumb, I hope they make you smile, and hopefully a few of you nod your heads and say yeap, no joke. For those that don't.. remember these, I don't care HOW stupid they sound. May help you understand men a little better. My 2nd and last husband... LOL.... I still don't get him sometimes, Valentines day is my birthday, and for two weeks I kept telling him and everyone in the house... I would really like "this or that" for my birthday... Well V-day comes, and school is canceled... a few friends of my children spend the day as well... *sigh* so I have a house full of screaming fighting kids. Work is closed for the day, so he joins in the bickering. Sister can't get out and her work is canceled, so she tries to keep the peace for my sake, and would of been better of using a 2x4 and just knocking them all out. As I was trying to sleep in and ........didn't happen. So I get up, and pass out my v-day gifts to everyone.... he opens his card... looks at me like I am totally nuts, when I had him one of those soft fuzzy stuffed dogs. Then suddenly takes off running, puts on his shoes, runs out the door..... The whole while he is gone the kids are saying, "Daddy pooh wouldn't take us shopping or we would of got you something" Comes home with a candle, card, my game i wanted from the dollar store here, hands it to me... with receit in bag.. *not like I won't see it on the banking online anyway, but still the annoying point* I was hopping mad and hid in the bedroom all day. I asked why after 2 weeks and daily reminders and lists of all the optional things I wanted for my birthday, did he have to run out at the last minute and buy me things??? It's valentines day, the romantic holiday... "I got you a candle!" and it's my birthday, "I got you the game". All day romantic stories on tv, all the things people do for their lovers.... "I got you a candle!" My list, my HBO scene it *got it*, Bubble bath, 3 spacific choclate fav's of mine, Chocolate moouse *hate b-day cakes for myself allways have* Balloons, soft fuzzy stuffed animal, teddy bears for my living room deco, frame for an artist print I have, New travel mug, roses, any flowers, plant *love plants*, more fishes for our fish tank, SLEEP!, *I usually up all night and get my family going for their days and go to bed, was a great cure for empty nest when youngest went to school, son wakes me when he gets home, he is the last one home*, prongs fixed on my engagement ring, and one of the Halmark critters. He is out of the house 5 days a week, drive threw a big town here on the way to work another big town that he works in a hour away, has been back and forth to Pittsburg 3 times, threw another big town on the way there. Yet has to go to the dollar store, the morning OF, if it mattered at all he would of done so before... Last minute like that is just mean, I would of been happy with a hug and kiss and simple told happy 2 things... not a vulgar last minute attempt to kiss up, I even moved XX dollars in to the account for you to use to buy me something 2 weeks ago! his response... You didn't tell me I was a loud to buy anything, you just told me what you wanted......... So ya, it does help to understand them better, but we will still NEVER get them. I sometimes think that gay couples have it made, they already "get" the "gender" part of who their partner is... :) Which for us hetero couples, well for us at least is 90% of the problems when there are any. Now, as for the dream? dreams are usually secret, fears or hopes we have. By dreaming them, it's sort of a safe way for our minds to exspress them and usually visualize them in a very extreme way. Some are just intuitions. But it very well could be your subconcious slapping you to realize something about how you feel. Talk to him, but make sure he hears what your saying. Ask him to repeat back what he thinks you mean. If he doesn't seem to "get" it, then explain that you would like to make sure he understands what you mean is all, so you can communicate better to him. *that way its not something his fault, oddly men feel at fault for things a lot because of the way us gals exspress ourselves* This was a great excersize I learned a long time ago in a relationship class I attended and about communication. After a while you don't have to do it, because you come to understand and learn to communicate with the other person much better, and how the understand the things you say. Sounds dumb, but you may be very surprised and happy you tried it. I am thinking I may just start a "Husbands training web site" LOL, forums and all. They can take romance 101, attentive 101, and basically a 101 of understanding us and how we think. Suggestions for other classes?? LOL Birthday 101, House helper 101? Valentines day 101. How to use a Crock pot 101? Crock pot theory in daily and love life?? LOL I will have to use titles like, "Picking up your socks, it's not just a chore, it's an adventure!!!" "Crock pots, not just for food!" "Uses for children or wife, other then 'bring me the remote', or 'another beer' " Anyway... I hope I made someone think, I hope I made someone else say "ya that makes sense", I hope I made someone laugh, and I hope I made you all realize that we are just dried up mud!! LOL *hugs* and brightest blessings

Oh, this thread made me laugh too and also makes me want to chime in with my .02 Like you all, most of the time, I have a great spouse, I love him, etc etc. But really now, what IS it with men? Someone MUST have the magic bullet secret to make them "get it" and when you do, be sure to book Oprah! Mostly, I have the usual stories like you and I will say DH does MOST of his "fair share" of chores but child rearing, is another story. Last Sat, he went to a bike race and was gone for EIGHT HOURS. I wanted to scream, "WHEN DO I GET TO HAVE 8 HOURS TO MYSELF?". Oh yeah, we have the membership at the Y, and I take DS. See, DH thinks working out=quality "me" time. ROFLMAO. I HATE to work out but go just so I CAN get 30 min of alone time. It's 30 min b/c you see, with DS being 2, he's not a big fan of the nursery/playroom and screams as if ON FIRE when I leave. Yeah, soooooo relaxing to work out wondering if my only child has daggers for me. Of course, when we get home, DH is the "good guy" who didn't do such a tragic thing to him and is the "hero". But by far, the greatest (ahem) comment I ever got from DH was a few months ago, as I was (per usual) complaining that I needed time to myself. He suggested I "go get Chinese for dinner and bring it home" so I could "get out of the house". Yeah I know...

That's a good one Sadie. Was your husband and mine together this weekend???? He went on a motorcycle ride with the "guys". He was gone from Friday until Sunday. When he got home I said I wanted to go to the grocery store. He asked if I could take Kelcee because he was to tired to watch her...................... I think not!!!

Ok - my recent pet peeve. DH is watching DS - and by watching, I mean, they are in the den, hunkered down in their bean bags playing god knows what on their gaming consoles. But, bedtime comes.Bedtime goes.Finally, an hour later, I go in and say, "Ok Jer, its time for bed..."AND DH GETS ALL, "BUT! JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES" GRRRRRRRRRRRR :grr:

OMG, Denice. I about fell off my chair laughing at that one. And Brandy, grrr is right. OR I have the wonderful DH who rough houses with DH right AFTER bath and BEFORE bed. Double grrr. I have to ask: how was Mother's Day? Granted, I DID get to sleep in but then DH went and did a bike race and I think I made dinner too that night. *smack forehead*

I got a good one: (This is pretty long) My husband has a good friend who comes to Israel once a year for Psioriasis treatment at the Dead Sea. my husband always picks him up from the airport and drives him to his hotel (about 2 hrs drive one way). The friend arrived Friday at about 4 in the afternoon. Lovely gesture, I know. Unfortunately my beloved DH forgot to tell me that he invited family and friends over for Shabbat dinner (Friday evening). Not a big deal, only about 16 extra adults to cook for. Not only that, he also forgot to tell me about a meeting he had at 11:00 in the morning, meaning that I had to go shopping, start cooking, pick up our two kids, take them to Grandma for lunch, get them home and get seriously busy in the kitchen while my two princes are asleep. I recruited Grandma and Grandpa to help me with the kids while I got dinner together. Then, at about 8:15 my beloved strolls in and immediately takes over as the gracious host. What do you think, grounds for murder???