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[FONT=Times New Roman]Hi everyone. Its been a while since IҒve checked in here. After a year and a half of reunion with my Bdad, things are still going well. Its been quite a ride on that emotional roller coaster. We still talk daily, usually more than once a day. The phone conversations are usually brief. They usually last just a few minutes, just long enough to make sure IҒm alright and give or get a brief rundown of how things are going. There are times when we do get to talkӔ, but even those usually get interrupted. My Dad usually calls me between meetings, or when he is in the car. So, our phone conversations are usually cut short. Im not complaining. IҒm really thrilled he still calls me so much just to hear my voiceӔ. However, this cutting short of our phone conversations due to IӒve got to take this call. ԓMy meeting is about to start., or ԓWell, Im here.Ҕ, was starting to bother me. This is where I think the Men are from Mars, and Women are from VenusӔ comes into play.[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]When I call my Dad or he calls me, in my mind, I am ready to have a conversationӔ. I want to talkӔ. You know what I mean? Like when I talk to my sister and we dont leave any details of our lives out, as well as, tell the details of everyone elseҒs lives. We exchange opinions, and share feelings, which can take, well, a long time.[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]I was beginning to feel hurt, because my Dad doesnt seem to call me up and just ғtalk. After pondering the situation for a bit, it dawned on me that, come to think of it, my husband never calls up anyone to just ԓtalk, either, nor do my brothers. After contemplating this more, I realized that conversations between my husband and his son on the phone, arenԒt really even conversations, and never last more than a few minutes either. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that men just dont talk on the phone like women do.[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]My dad is coming in tonight for a weekend visit with me. IҒm sure we will be up till the wee hours just talkingӔ, just like the last time he came for a visit. Well, Ive convinced myself this phone thing is really nothing more than the fact that my Dad is just a man. The brief phone conversations have nothing to do with him not wanting to talk to me or whatever. He canҒt help it. Hes a man, and men just arenҒt capable of talking on the phone for hours like us girls. They just dont communicate like us girls do, because, well, they are men. The fact that he calls me everyday and sometimes mmore than once a day, even if itҒs just to say hi, says a lot.[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]Remembering that men and women are just different in the way we think, act, etc., it made me wonder. Those of you in reunion with a member of the opposite sex, have you noticed that the difference in the sexes has made your reunion and building a relationship more of a challenge?[/FONT]
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Great to see your update. My conversations with my bdad, unless its a weekend, tend to be the "in between other stuff" calls. He does run his own business, so that doesnt really bother me. We save the long talks for the weekend, and usually schedule a time since we live in such far time zones.
Mary
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It's been my experience in my relationship with my own dad that he usually prefers short conversations, asking frequently, "Anything else?" Very task oriented. I've found with my bson that most of our "conversations" are online and tend to be brief. We had a fairly lengthy conversation on the phone this week because we had a particular subject to explore. Mostly my phone conversations are with D's wife. In my case, in addition to the male/female difference, I'm still always afraid I'm intruding in his life. I try to pay attention to his lead in the conversation. (Of course with 3 kids, 2 of them under 2 there are sudden interruptions often!) I have found that are conversations when we are together are much less brief and too the point!
My own dad, who loves me like a rock, and would give his life for me (in fact I think he has), can't talk on the phone. It's like this... me: "Hi Dad!"him: "Hi Heidi. Here's your mother." Once I tried to actually make him converse. He stammered for a minute, then said "I'm not very good at this. Here's your mother." The funniest story was one of my best friends in college calling her dad. They were a very close family and she was definitely a Daddy's girl- his only daughter. We all overheard this: "Hi Dad."-pause-"It's Sheree." -pause-"SHEREE"-pause-"SHEREE. YOUR DAUGHTER." We were all rolling with laughter by this time. We still joke about it. Even in the midst of her grief of losing him last year to ALS, we can still laugh together over this story. If you have a man in your life who likes to converse over the phone, he's probably an exception to the rule, so enjoy! If not, then know that for men, talking does not equal love. For the OP, the act of love for you Dad is probably the dialing- making the connection.
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