I Want To Screeeeeeaaaaaam

Oh Gwen many hugs heading to you:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. I unfortunately have no advice for you since I haven't been thru what you have. I just want you to know you are in my thoughts still, and if you ever just need an ear we are all always here for you. I am so very sorry you are having to go thru this.

Gwenn,Sometimes life just seems so unfair. I hate when we are not able to do anything about it either. Take care.

Oh Gwenn, ((HUGS)) There needs to be some sort of NATIONAL law that states a BF CANNOT force a bmom to parent. If he's not gonna do it then he shouldn't be allowed to force her to. To me, that's abuse. UGH. My thoughts are with you hon. How about some papaya?

Gwenn, I have not posted much but have kept up on your story, and am so sorry this has happened both for you and for this baby and his mother. I can tell how hard this is and how you are really struggling. I know you love this little baby and care deeply for his mother. Is it possible, though, for your own sanity, to put a little distance between you for a period of time to let your own emotions settle, and to let their situation settle as well? It seems that each new detail has the potential to unravel you a little bit more and as hard as it is to stay away, it seems like it is harder on you to keep in touch at this time so close to when it all fell apart. I hope that makes sense. I am not trying to be cold or unkind. I'm really concerned for you. Wishing you some peace.

Yeah, I know. It's not healthy. But they still had my rental car (don't ask) and I just worry about Ryan. I want to hear about him. I keep thinking he's my son and that's the worst part of all. In fact, today I feel that more strongly than ever. That's REALLY not healthy....worrying really. i want to go steal him!!!!! But I guess they'd know who did it.:cowboy: I'm working on it, seriously....thanks for your support. Love, Gwenn

I know how you feel. It is just pathetic. Being in a contested adoption myself it is extremely hard. The heartache you feel of wanting a baby so badly...is something I can defintely relate to!! It is so painful...how you want nothing more then to be able to love a child and put that child first as the center of your whole world!! Yet, this birth father does not even acknowledge the child. Knowing that just makes the pain even worse. As hard as it is, and as unfair as it is, you have to find strength and pray for that little angel. Our adoption is not final and all we do is pray. For us, its simple the birth father clearly has done nothing for over one year now...and yet, we have no idea what is going to happen. Understanding how a birth father can stop the adoption process, and yet over one year do nothing is beyond me....I can totally relate to how you feel....I ask the same question daily..why? We love our angel more then anything in this whole wide world...He is our everything! Please know that I am another person who knows your pain. If you need someone you can pm me. :flowergift:

Gwenn, I want you to know you are in my heart and prayers. How sad that there are those who refuse to parent and also refuse to let the child be parented by someone who so desperately loves them. I echo StacyKelly in that in my case the birthmom could not parent - and even stated she KNEW she could not - and promised an adoption - and then consented, and then while in juvy withdrew consent, and then "won" in court but said she only wanted visitation - and then refused to visit but kept filing against us. WHY? WHY? WHY would anyone do that?????????? I'm so sorry for both you and Amy and Ryan. sadiegirl said it best:There needs to be some sort of NATIONAL law that states a BF CANNOT force a bmom to parent. If he's not gonna do it then he shouldn't be allowed to force her to. To me, that's abuse. I'm here for you hon. Christie

Having had it happen twice. Do you think the courts are giving the father the benefit of a doubt in case he can parent in the future? I just can't understand it. It defies logic!.

Well, life defies all logic some days, doesn't it? I have a friend with 11 adopted children who says that to be a parent you have to be a very good parent, but to be an adoptive parent, you have to be outstanding! I really believe that all we go through to adopt a child certainly makes us very much appreciate parenthood when it comes our way. And it makes us a whole lot stronger! Hang in there everyone. The hills are right past the valleys. Josie

I wish there was some kind of follow-up that could be done. To see how active a part this birth father plays in his child's life in a couple of months or say a year from now. For some birth fathers and I am not saying all...but for some this is clearly a control issue. You cannot adopt the child, but yet clearly they do not step up responsibly. I know this from experience. I am in a contested adoption now close to 2 years. I question the commitment - financially he has not contributed...only seeing this baby one time, in now almost 2 years. Yet, we still have temporary custoday praying for the adoption...but we are placed on hold-It is so heartbreaking. I really do not understand this whole concept. Bottom line there is not an excuse in this world that would keep you from your child for now 2 years...My heart goes out to you because you want this baby more then anything in this world...and yet this birth father does not even acknowledge the baby...it is just down right sad. It is a terrible feeling to have to go through what you are...all I can say is pray..because that is my only hope- God will give you the strength you need. I know because of all we are going through. This forum will help you...and know its okay to be angry and its okay to feel the way you do..you love this baby -always have and always will-you carry that baby in your heart...pray that everything will work out...that is all you can do.:flowergift: