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mad, upset, frustrated, disgusted. I haven't been on the board in a few days because I just couldn't face it. It helped to hear about jjlutefisk. Good grief! I'll give a VERY brief summary and then tell you the latest. bmom delivers and we bring our son homebmom signs consentbmom withdraws consentbmom says she wants visitation - viola, granted!bmom filed numerous motions against us (fraud, reversal of the adoption, dependency, etc.)bmom does not visit (for well over a year)motions remain outstanding against us (even NOW)we file to have everything dismissedbmom says she wants phone calls and letters - viola, granted!bmom says she has signed "something" which will be given to us once she gets pictures and letters NOW her lawyer will not hand over the signed document, we don't know what it is - and no one will tell us: WHAT DOES SHE WANT???????????????? Everything she has asked for has been given to her. Now the judge has ordered mediation with a mediator that I feel is biased. We don't need mediation. We need to know what she wants. She wins anything and everything she wants anyway. She won't let go of the motions and charges filed against us. We have never been allowed to give testimony as she has won it all before we went to trial (with the exception of the dependency petition). We had "trial" - what a joke! All it meant was she would ask for something and the judge would give it to her. Then she would say she doesn't want THAT and file for something else. May will be 5 years. I can not understand this. She said she wanted to withdraw consent and get my son back - then she said she only wanted visitation - then she did not visit - now she said she wants phone calls and letters - she got that and now it appears that is not enough. WHAT DOES SHE WANT???????????????????????? When will this ever end?
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You are being harrassed and the judge is allowing it...or I guess maybe the judge deosn't get it, but come on! I think you need a more aggressive lawyer, or your lawyer needs to learn how to fight back. Counter-sue. Expensive, I know. Have you ever checked into legal help from pro-family/pro-child organizations? I would just like to believe there's sanity somewhere. I really feel for you.
How is this allowed to continue ?? It is just so sad. I wish I could find the right words to make everything right- Are you assigned to the same judge everytime??I cannot imagine ANY judge allowing this to go on. My God they need to look at the best interest of the child!! And your sanity. Living as a family and loving your angel from day one...then not knowing what can happen next is just sheer emotional heartache. You and your family are probably so exhausted emotionally and financially -I just could not imagine! How can this birth mom feel she is doing what is best? By continously dragging this out ...it is only hurting her child!! I am so angry that they allow the birth mom chance after chance when it is so clear she wants nothing to do with this angel, otherwise this would have been over. I continue to hope and pray for you...My heart goes out to you...Just know I agree with you, as I am sure others agree you deserve the peace and so does your little angel!!!Remember God placed your angel with you for a reason....I will pray for your peace.....:flowergift:
MamaS
I don't know about Alabama, but in Georgia law there is a thing called a "SLAP" suit. Basically, it is a lawsuit against someone who is "using" the law to file nuisance lawsuits against you. The bmother sounds like she is doing just that -- can you sue her back?
MamaS
Also, if the bmother has given her lawyer a document to give to you and he refuses to give it, there is a Legal Ethics Committee and he can be reported.
MamaS
I would also ask you lawyer about requesting that the judge recluse himself -- he seems to be biased as well.
MamaS
Also, once you have won and your child is finally and completely and legally yours -- I would move to another county at least, or maybe another state, to avoid retribution from the courts.
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Christie--so very sorry. When this all closes (we are praying that it will soon!) you will be the most amazing person to have survived this insanity. I sitll can't believe that the state, her lawyer, and the judge is oblivious to what seems she just wants control, and that's why she changes her mind or doesn't accept what she asked for. How maddening. Well, what is the next step now?
I don't feel amazing but that made me feel a lot better. I feel attacked. I feel demoralized. I feel tired. But it helps so much to come here and be validated. Thank you. Ha! Good question. My lawyer is pondering.... JPDakota - what did your father teach you to do? Here is what I do: I clean. My house is spotless, immaculate. I walk. I wake up early every morning and walk as hard and as fast and far as I can. I let these thoughts and feelings run through me as they need to and it fuels my walking. Now I even run. I run as hard as I can, until the thoughts and feelings are emptied. I'll probably be able to win the cleanest-house-of-the-year-and-marathon-runner-all-in-one-day award. :) Honestly, I don't know what else to do. I work and most of the time (not always) I can set this aside long enough to do my job. I am afraid I am going to have a stroke or a heart attack. This has been so stressful for so long that my heart beats too fast and my head hurts frequently. Oh - that's right - I had better not have a stroke or I'm sure they will file against me for it. AAAAARRRRRGH! It helps - more than I have the vocabulary to explain - to come here and "talk" with you guys. I receive such strength and support from each of you. You have made a huge difference for me and I am eternally greatful. Thank you! What does she want??????????? What should I do now?
redbonec
How maddening. Well, what is the next step now?
Chrstie,
I really wish I could ask him. Maybe he could think of something. What does she want? I guess she wants you to feel as lousy as she feels. I cannot fathom why the legal community lets this go on.
Have you written it all down in a journal or anything? It would make a great book. Then again, writing a book might just make you feel worse. I just have no idea how to help.
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Christie I am still trying to understand all of this. Why would they want to give her visitation? If she did follow through with visitation, then what was there next step to slowly take this angel from you. Is this something they do now with contested adoptions?Allow the birth parent every chance until finally they see for themselves what is obvious from the very beginning there is no commitment. Giving her so many chances is just ridiculous. Would you like for us to write the judge?? LOL- Just a thought. Just look at it this way how many more chances can this birth mom possibly have? Seems to me she is running out of chances....Hang in there...just like we all are! God knows these are our little angels and God gives us the strength to go on every day!!:flowergift:
Christie, just let me say that any day you ??? whether you are truly the amazing person we all know that you are, remember that you lifted ME up and stood behind ME on my darkest days and I will never forget you for it. You are MORE than amazing, girl!!! You are the only one that can't see it. The fog will lift soon. You are an inspiration.
joskids
Christie, just let me say that any day you ??? whether you are truly the amazing person we all know that you are, remember that you lifted ME up and stood behind ME on my darkest days and I will never forget you for it. You are MORE than amazing, girl!!! You are the only one that can't see it. The fog will lift soon. You are an inspiration.
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I agree with you 100% why have laws, if there always seem to be exceptions to the rule. If you are a true parent you should not have to be given chance after chance, that is just crazy. It is so ashame that the courts allow this birth mom to continue this, especially when it is so clear that she does not want this angel. To use the court system in this fashion and put you through all of this is just ridiculous. You are always in my prayers and remember God is walking with you every step of the way!! Like I said this birth mom seems to be running out of chances...and hopefully this will all end soon. I wish this would just end for you because if anything you deserve peace and so does that little angel.....May God Bless you and provide you with the strength to overcome this nightmare...Keep strong, and know you have lots of people on this forum..pulling for you!! :flowergift:
I know you feel really dow right now but I just would like to know who assigns this mediator? Why do you think he or she is biased? Do you have proof of that or is it just a feeling. Is it your first mediation? Don't give up ...I really think you need to at least explore another attorney. If nothing else, people tend to try harder at the beginning. Isn't there any other way to bring a complaint against the judge? How can it be that only he moderates himself? Your attorney may not want to piss him off as he will be on other cases with him in the future. You need a ballsy attorney, maybe a woman....can you do that? Maybe someone from another county who won't care what the judge thinks of her. I am praying and praying for you today. Yes ramping it up. Love and hugs G.