A question for all Adoptees

I think your scrap book sounds awesome! As an adoptee, the one thing I'm looking for (other than a relationship, if possible) is some sense of history. Having pictures, names, etc, would fill a void for me! I'm also a jewelry person. I'm thinking, a necklace or something with her birthstone? Just to reinforce the idea that you've never forgotten the day she was born. As a b-mom, I know you've never forgotten that day, but as an adoptee, some times I wonder if my b-mom remembers. Hmm, I'm thinking, if this is your first f2f, the thing you both probably want the most is a big hug! No gift could replace that!

I think the scrapbook is great :)I got M a charm bracelet - something I can add to over the years :)We have an OA and she's only 11, but she told me she loves it!

Definately a hug!! Looks like I should keep an eye out for a bracelet. I love charm bracelets.

Your scrapbook sounds fabulous. I too really wanted a sense of history from my birthmom. Honestly, sometimes the pictures are hard to look at...especially the ones taken after I was born and before we met. It kind of drives home all that we missed together. But nonetheless, I wouldn't trade the pictures I got from her and my grandmother for the world. They are some of my most prized posessions. Jewelry would be nice too....I like the charm bracelet idea. My birthmom bought a stuffed duck on my first birthday that she kept for a long time (I was placed in a closed adoption right after birth in the 60's). Shortly after we reunited a couple years ago, she bought me a new duck and mailed it to me. Needless to say, I sleep with the darn thing every night :love:

What kind of charm bracelet? I am putting two together for the daughter I am parenting. One represents all of her milestones from birth and the charms will continue until she graduates High School. The other are Christmas charms I add every year. I have three. One is full of Texas charms (I come from a long line of Texans), another is of shoes and the third are Christmas charms. Should I pick charms that remind me of her? (This was a closed adoption so I haven't seen her since she was 2 days old.) She was raised by a Jewish family, would Christmas Charms be inappropriate? I am LOVING the charm bracelet idea!! I left a silver Star of David charm (with a little cross in the center) for her at the Agency...it would fit perfectly on a bracelet when I give it to her!!

Maybe some charms that remind you of her...mixed with little pieces of yourself. Something with her birthstone and perhaps yours too...maybe one of the Texas charms and shoe charms like one you already have...stuff like that. I'm thinking maybe no Christmas charms until after you meet..? Now I'm also thinking I want to do one of these for my bmom's next birthday :) We're starting to build our own little history together and I can already think of a million charms that would be appropriate.

The Christmas charms are something I think I would only add if she spends Christmas with us...I will have to play that by ear. My mind is racing with charms now!! LOL!! Great thing is, this is something I can add to while waiting for DD to be ready and I can keep adding to it after reunion!! :banana:

Roni, the charm bracelet is an awesome idea. When I met my bmother I gave her a scrap book with pics of my kids ( I had already sent her dozens of photos of me!). I would have loved photos of her family (she still has not "come out" to them about me) as I may never get the opportunity to meet them.. I also would have loved any information about my bfather..all she has now is a name, no photos and very little memories...(it has been 38 years) But the best gift I ever got was the first card on my birthday that started off.."daughter". I will always treasure that first card! You have gotten a lot of wonderful ideas, all of which I wuold have loved from J!!!!

I have to add my 2 cents on the charm idea! My bmom gave me two charms on a gold chain over 10 years ago during our first f2f. (One was a small cross and the other was from my bsis- a sister charm of sorts) For years, my bmom and I had an on/off relationship but I wore the cross charm on the chain for every big moment in my life... high school graduation, college graduation, my ordination as a pastor, family weddings, my birthday each year, Christmas etc. Every big moment that I wished she could been there with me for... I often wore it when I was really missing her or thinking about her. It was a source of great comfort. Our reunion was become very strong. And last year I preformed (as a pastor) my birthsister's wedding and wore the cross charm she had given me all those years ago. I noticed her notice it. It was a powerful moment. I knew she knew that I had always treasured it. So I vote, do the charm thing!!

But what to give a bson! I'm giving him a scrapbook as well (funny how we came to similar ideas!). Pictures of relatives and memories that I have of them. Not really many pictures of me, I've emailed a bunch of those! I just don't see him wearing a charm bracelet though gosh darn it! That is a cute idea. Maybe something I could start for my daughters.

I think he might get funny looks if he's caught wearing a charm bracelet. What would you give to a man?? Oh dear!!

Maybe a watch with something engraved on the back.

That's a great idea taramayrn, unfortunately he's told me that the best birthday present he ever got was an engraved watch from his aparents! So, I don't want to do anything to lessen that gift, plus it just would be weird! I'm sure a sportscar would be appreciated but I just don't have that kinda cash! :flowergift:

Gosh that is so cool! I have yet to meet my b-mom f2f (we've been emailing for about 2 months)but I cannot begin to describe how awesome that would be. I would be so grateful to her for doing yet another something that obviously would be VERY hard to do. Putting a scrapbook together of something you have tried to push out of your mind (in my bmoms case)seems to be a very brave and selfless thing. I also think that another gift idea if you could not do a scrapbook (because I bet there are more than a few bmoms out there who have NO pictures from that time) would be something thoughtful. I know that would mean a lot to me. For instance if your daughter or son has mentioned any hobbies or special interests in prior communication, something that represents that would be nice. Or perhaps even a framed photograph. That is something that I would love to receive from my birthmother. I always dreamed that my bmom kept a diary/journal while she was pregnant with me and after. I think that exerpts from that (if it existed) would be really neat. Honestly, I do not expect anything from my bmom when I meet her. I think that I will just be so happy to meet her that perhaps stuff she would give me might get in the way of me smothering her with a hug :)! ( a box of kleenex might be a good gift!!)

Quantum: I know this is slow coming, but I'm wondering. When I was in high school, guys wore "ID bracelets" with the name engraved on the front, and some times a personal message on the back. Maybe that's not "cool" in this day and age, but it's an idea anyway.