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If anyone has been following my postings, I filed with DHS in Tennessee to have my birth son's records opened to me.
The letter came last night. He is deceased. The only child I ever had. I had such high hopes. They won't tell me when he passed away and under what circumstances.
I can't even cry. I'm afraid to. How in the world am I going to tell my Mother? She's elderly and was so excited.
Is this really happening? I have really tried to live a good life. I thought I was going to finally have a chance to tell him how much I have always loved and missed him.
Those of you who are Christians please pray for me and the soul of my son.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Kim D.
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Just a quick update....I spoke to the Godparents at Mass again Sunday...Just kept it brief and polite. Giving them a little time to process (they're elderly) and then boy do I have questions!! :)
Hey, what's everyone cooking? I've got a squash casserole going, mustard greens and sweet potatoes with marshmallow's on top.
Yes, Virginia, I am from the south!
Happy Turkey Day Everyone!
Kim:grouphug:
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My baby bbrother has always said that since we were reunited... and I believe that it's true... even the struggles and hardships... How WONDERFUL that your son's Godparents introduced themselves to you.. It's another connection to your son...I hope that they are able to give you more details about him... I know when I was searching I would get SO excited when I found something else out...some more of the missing pieces. I hope that these contacts help you in the journey of grief that you, unfortunately, have to travel. I'm here for you... sal
Hi everyone...I'll try to make this short. As you know, I found my bson deceased after a search. I recently met his employer, a very nice man who shared stories of my son's life, showed me where he worked, etc. As fate would have it, this man's wife attends church with me-along with my son's Godparents. We became good friends and they have been instrumental in finding my granddaughter in the hopes that one day the family will allow contact. What dear friends this couple has become.Last Saturday, my son's boss was killed in a car wreck. He was only 45. The night of the funeral, his wife had a terrible stomach ache. We all thought it was the stress of losing her husband, but we just got word. She's got pancreatic cancer. They have two boys. I'm devastated for this family. Please keep these children in your prayers. Thank goodness they have a large family and the children will be well taken care of. My head is spinning over how tragic this situation is.The lady's name is Theresa. Please think of her when you say your prayers. I owe this couple so much and am going to do everything I can to help the family during this uspeakably terrible time.Thanks, Kim
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i am sad to hear that because i am scared that i might find that when i look.
My name is Lashonda and i am searching for my birth parents. I am scared that i may find that they are deceased and that i never got the chance to see them or my siblings.
I am hurting to know that i never knew that i was adopted and that i had sisters and brothers. i miss them so much.
Its hard to say that i feel your pain, but in some way i feel it and it never goes away. i am praying for the best for you.
I just read your story. I found my birthmother when I was 20. Found 2 younger brothers that she had with a guy she met a year after she gave me up. One of them committed suicide as soon as I started to get to know him. They said he wrote a big long suicide note that consisted mostly of heartbreak over his mother leaving him when he was a year and a half old. (She had left them, too) I was a year and a half old when she gave me up for adoption. I can relate to your profound sense of loss. Not exactly the same in nature, but close enough. I am 37 years old and could never maintain an intimate relationship for more than 2 months. Therefore I have no children and have never been married---and believe me, it's not because of my looks. I'm not a great looking guy but am better than average and I also have alot of character. Anyway thought I'd share a little. Hope it does something for ya.
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Hi Kim,
I searched for my birth mother and found she had passed away. I went through really hard times, to the point that I couldn't function in the real world for about 6 weeks. I totally understand what you mean when you say no one outside adoption gets it. If I can help you in any way by listening and understanding what you're going through, please get in touch. Listening is my profession. Take care.
Geez this thread went to the wayside. How about if you want to talk about a personal opinion then make a thread about it? Not in a women's grieving thread! How tasteless.
Kim - I can't imagine what you're going through and I am very suprised no one will give you information. I would definitely see if you could check into finding information out another way. Maybe the adoptive family would be willing to have some sort of relationship with you if you can find them? I wish you the best and am certainly praying you can find something that may give you closure, I just can't imagine. :(