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I'm a single, full-time working mom of an 18 mo I've had since birth, and because of my age (old) and his race I feel that he should have a sibling. So for those single moms out there who have adopted more than one:
1) How old was your first when you adopted #2?
2) Did you ever fear that you would not attach as much as to your "first love"?
3) I was exhausted all the time through the first year, and he was an easy baby! What kind of additional support or strategies did you put in place to deal with the extra work?
4) Did you request same or opposite gender, and what was your reason?
5) What issues/problems did you not foresee?
6) If you had to do it over again, would you?
I am adopting from foster care so I would not consider a child older than him.
It's a bit different for me because I did foster care for all of my children when I adopted them, and I had other foster children in the home while I did individual adoptions. The first two kids were siblings so I adopted them together, then adopted my third, then fourth, then I adopted the two younger siblings of my third... So I guess I can't be of too much help... but you love each one individually in their own special way, and I find that my love for each of them only grows with additional adoptions. The more there are, the more I see the individuality of each kid, the more certain things shine about them, etc etc.
All of my kids were ages 4 - 7 when I adopted them, except the last two. My youngest is the only child I had as an infant, and wow, infants ARE much more work than I had anticipated!!!! I was lucky to have older kids in the house who wanted to help!
As for gender, I guess it depends on if you want a "playmate" for your other child, if you want to experience each gender, or what. It's probably easier to have the same gender if they're going to be close in age and you're only going to have the two of them... you have less things you need to buy that way!
I would DEFINATELY do it over again! And again and again and again! But I agree with you, I wouldn't adopt a child older than my oldest, either! I would NEVER consider that, as it really is hard on the older child!
;~) Kelly
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