mother's day

We do not have constant contact with one of our son's Bmother and we have no contact with the other son's Bmother. I do pray for them. I didn't know in time last year about Bmother day, or that I could order cards. I think I will do that this year.Mother's Day is bitter sweet for me. I am finally a Mother who can celebrate Mother's Day. However, I know there are two very special women who gave up that right (at least with my children). I feel I owe them the world, and yet, my heart breaks for them, too.I just don't think I have words to adequately describe how I feel around Mother's Day. Here is a list of thoughts, emotions that runs through my head:love, happiness, sacrifice, sadness, grief, relief...it's all so conflicting!

I was thinking of this very thing this morning. this is the first Mother's day that I can wish my DD's a mom a Happy Mother's Day, and I wanted to commemorate it in a way that was not overly emotional (as if that was possible!) So I'm interested too in everyone's responses.:hippie:

It's the first mother's day my bson will be able to say something to me, I wonder if he will! A friend asked me if I'd be bummed if he didn't acknowledge it. I don't think so.

As far as how Mother's Day has been done with me and each of my girl's mothers so far...we both send each other cards, gifts and pictures.They both have always since the beginning acknowledged me as a mother to my girls on Mother's Day and I have always acknowledged and said how glad I am and how great of a mother I think they are to my girls because they are. Both of them are great mothers and women and friends to me and since I couldn't be the one to raise either of my girls, I wouldn't have had it be anyone else but them.Each of my girls mother's always send me a recent picture of my girls with something for me to pamper myself with or something I like like books for example since I'm a bookworm lol. They always send me an e-mail and a card telling me how grateful they are for me and acknowledging me as a mother to my girls.I have always tried to e-mail my girls mothers a letter or note of gratitude for Mother's Day plus send them a gift with a card. I've usually sent them something to pamper themselves with and then as I've gotten to know them and become closer friends and more comfortable with them I've sent them things that I know they like/love for Mother's Day.I have done special things for them sometimes on Mother's Day like written them a poem or figured out a symbolic meaningful gift to send to them like some piece of jewelry with meaning or that matches one I get for myself to connect us more.I'm not sure if any of my rambling here helps with what you're looking for or not.Oh and how I handle Mother's Day is that at first I would just bawl my eyes out and let myself have a breakdown or two or three and be sad, but now that I've learned how to process and deal with my grief differently and had some healing take place, I don't have that many breakdowns or tears at Mother's Day most of the time. I still get sad on that day and miss my girls like crazy, but with how their mothers and my family and friends acknowledge and help me and how I've moved forward with my life, it's not as sad as it was the first or second Mother's Day I went through.I am wondering if I'll have other emotions or some new sadness to deal with on Mother's Day once I get married and have another child that I raise...or what not - guess we'll see.Anyway what I'd suggest for Mother's Day is to pamper yourself and let yourself feel whatever you are feeling and cry however often or much as you want. Just be sure to take care of you and don't try to be 'strong' just for show or for others, if that makes sense.Feel free to PM me or talk to me if you ever want or need to. Sorry I wrote and rambled so much lol.

This will be my second Mother's Day as a reunited adoptee. The first one was...well, strange. I felt guilty for having two mothers! I knew I wanted to do something special for my mom and my bmom, but was at a loss as to the right thing. I ended up just keeping it simple - sending each of them flowers and a card with plenty of I Love You's. They were both happy about that. I'm not sure what I'm going to do this year. Just as a side note...on my birthday last year, I sent my bmom flowers. That really put her over the edge (in a good way)! :love: