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I went in to talk to our lawyer this past week.... to get some answers and find out what we need to do before our PBmom is due.
Well, the topic of my DH being deployed came up. He's not due to come home until a few months after the birth..... which concerned her greatly. She told us (after initially saying we *may* have been able to avoid needing him home to go to court) that we cannot go to court to have PBmoms rights terminated without DH here........ meaning we'd wait a few months to do it. Granted, I do feel more secure with our PBmom than some other situations we've been in... it still scares the CRAP out of me!
Plus, that hinders a GREAT DEAL of things.... getting real birth certificate, enrolling the baby into DEERS without being on the 60 day temp. stuff, getting SSN.... and so much more.
I'm going to talk to his ombudsman to see if there is any way we can work something out with his command to get him back to go to court, and then fly him right on back.
I honestly don't care (of COURSE I CARE< you know what i mean) if he's here for the birth..... I just don't want him being gone jeopardizing our situation of being able to have rights terminated and transfered to us..... and ultimately finalizing the adoption.
I'm just hoping that things work out.... who knows what the military can do..... I know that men have been sent home from deployment for other pregnancy related issues..... hopefully someone somewhere decides this is pretty important to us, too.
If not, I guess we take a gamble and wait those months out....... it scares the crap out of me, but I'll do whatever it takes.
just kinda wanted to vent..... thanks for listening.
I have no words of advice, but wanted to say I'm thinking of you. Deployment and an impending adoption are complicated enough on their own, and taken together can be overwhelming.
Sending positive vibes your way.
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thanks karen. i completely agree.... I plan on contacting the ombudsman soon to get the ball rolling. My husband has been talking to some people there, too, to let people know the situation.
HI,
I can't help you with the going to court issue. We are in NC and did not have to be present in court to finalize.
However, I can help with the DEERS issue. Once the baby is placed with you, and you have paperwork showing you have temperary custody of the baby for adoption purposes, go to the DEERS office on your base. They will put the baby into the system under a temporary ID number. The baby can stay in DEERS system under that number until you get his/her SSN. Our daughter was under the temporary number for over a year before we were able to get her SSN.
So TRICARE or DEERS should not be an issue at all for you. We had absolutely no problems with DEERS at all.
One other recommendation, get the baby in DEERS ASAP after it is born. If you are travelling away from home and there is a military base close to where the baby is born, go to the DEERS office on that base and enroll the baby in DEERS. That way if you have any unexpected hospital bills, TriCare should pick them up from the day the baby is enrolled in DEERS. We had our daughter enrolled the very next day. As a matter of fact she was seen by the pediatrician on the military base near where she was born for her first couple of check ups, before we could leave the state and come home.
Try not to stress, it will work out!!