My First Mother's Day

Since it's her first mother's day as well I would send a card. It may not help ease your pain but will make her feel better as I think she may be feeling overwhelmed as well. Sometimes doing something nice for someone else makes me feel 100 times better but I should caution you - it is a very difficult path. If you ever need any help or advice feel free to pm me. It's been 26 years for me and it still hurts. This is my "first" mother's day in reunion and I'm expecting nothing but hoping for a call or card. All the best. :love:

... for all moms, whether amoms, bmoms, fostermoms or stepmoms. A card would be a great gesture, TGM. And, keds, I hear you... this is my first mother's day in reunion. I'm trying not to expect anything, but have to admit that I have big hopes in this regard... huges hopes, in fact... I would sooo love a card from bson. TGM... in case I don't catch up with you for some reason before Mother's Day, let me just tell you now... Happy Mother's Day :love: do something very wonderful for yourself that day, buy yourself some beautiful flowers and treat yourself to something very special. Peace & Love, Susan :hippie:

My first Mother's Day into reunion was after my birthday and Christmas. On my birthday I got 2 text messages and I got a belated (week later) Christmas present so I was expecting anything for Mother's Day as he doesn't do cards. I couldn't bring myself to evenmention the day...my dh was a bit insenstive and jokingly said not to expect anything from son. I know he didn't mean to upset me but it did.Again last year I didn't expect anything nor did I again. I'm in England so Mother's Day has been and gone and despite my son living with us I still didn't expect anything from him. However my dh gave him a "nudge" in private then warned me to look suitably surprised. Me being the cynical person that I am was able to do this I didn't expect anything but I did get a card and pressie. It was the best Mother's Day I have ever had :banana:

Mother's Day here in the UK is in March, so I just had my first one not too long ago. To be honest I was absolutely dreading it beforehand, but in the end it wasn't too bad. I spent it with my mother (who doesn't know) which I thought would make it worse, but it actually turned out to be kind of a welcome distraction. (Not that I didn't want to think about him, but sometimes you need to keep busy and not wallow in misery!) It did hurt... exactly as you described, to know you are technically a mother but not feel like a parent... it's a strange feeling! I would have loved to have received a card or something, but the situation at the moment doesn't really allow for it.. also he's not with the adoptive family yet, so I didn't have the option to send a card either. I think it might be nice to send amum a card or something, but only if you feel comfortable doing so. Hope it all works out ok, anyway! (((((hugs)))))) xx

scared21,I've seen you post elsewhere and was wondering whether you'd had a girl or boy. Can't say Mother's Day gets any easier but you will find ways of coping...good to see someone else from the UK post here though.

My first Mother's Day I had the blessing of running into a friends mom. She wished me a Happy Mother's Day and I said, "I am not a real mom, after all my baby is not with me." She got really angry and said "I never want to hear that out of your mouth again. Carrying a child, caring for that child 9 months, giving birth...that gives you the right to call yourself a mother. Always." Boy I am so glad she set me staight. So I say this to you. You are a Mother and deserve to be honored. This Mother's Day and everyday thereafter. Find people who recognize this and celebrate the fact that you were a part in a miracle. There is a new life in the world because of you.

My bson was born the Monday before mother's day in the USA, let me tell you it's been a very sensitive time for me! We'll see what happens this year as it's the first one that we've been in contact. To be honest, I don't celebrate mother's day at all. I have a 4 year old born in the UK, a 2 year old born in Sweden, and I'm American. All three lands have different mother's days! Hubby also doesn't quite get it. So, nothing!

I'm going to be with my mom also, who also doesn't know so I've been worried about how that would work out as well...My whole family gets together including my nephew that's two weeks younger than dd and my nephew thats six weeks younger than dd...which always makes it weird. Watching people celebrate these new mothers while I sit back.... And if no one else said it to you, Happy (belated) Mothers Day! ((((hugs))))

Thank you for those words Brenda, I will definitely keep them with me this Mother's Day and always. :love:

[FONT="Century Gothic"]I get nothing from amom but my therapist sends me a card every year. This year will be my 4th card from her. I keep hoping that I will hear something from amom but I am slowly coming to realize that I won't. It hurts and it sucks but each year I am keeping myself as busy as possible and spending some time for myself to journal in my journal and in J's.[/FONT]

My first Mother's Day was 6 weeks after DD was born, and a week after I returned home from college, where no one knew I was a mother. I guess it was good in a way since I was still shell shocked a bit over having a child, I remember being numb to it. But it's always been a surreal day for me, that's when I kind of feel like a "fraud" you know? I'm not a mom in a sense that I raise a child for the world to see, so my friends who are moms would not even think to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. (it's hard enough when I try to get in on discussions on being a mother, I get the whole "you don't know wait until you're a mom" thing, and these are the ones who KNOW about DD) but to not celebrate it in a way accentuates in my head that I am a mom even though I don't raise my child. Being that it's now 15 years, I'm kind of used to being a bit conflicted, LOL!!! Even though this is the first year in a long time that I have contact with DD's a-mom, I have decided to hold off on commemorating it this time around. For me, it's an emotional struggle to send a message and hope for a response (as those of you who follow my posts know, LOL!!) and I'm still a bit drained from DD's birthday. I also don't want to overwhelm her and keep clobbering her with emotional messages every time I write either!! If things go positively, as I hope they will continue to, I'm sure there will be a Mother's Day where I will get to tell her how much I care for and appreciate her. :love: