Anti-spankers what form of discipline works best for you?

Right now, at 17 months, redirection is what works best for Nicholas. Sometimes we physically have to remove him from the room/frustration by going outside for a minute or sitting in the rocking chair together. As of right now, minus some minor issues where he has NO fear and will run away, it is working well for us. I assume this will ebb and flow with each stage change. :)

Sorry, I can't add much as my child is only 15 mo. old. We don't plan on spanking though. My husband occassionally swats our dog, and was horrified to see dd hit him after he swatted the dog... so now we are even vigilant about THAT! haha Anyway, I am planning on using the methods in 1-2-3 magic once she turns two years old. Hoping that will work. I have read it and it seems to make sense. Right now I am trying to figure out how to teach not to hit without slapping hands... I am currently trying to hold her hands for a while and she seems to get the idea (but we just tried it yesterday for the first time). Currently I do use redirection and substitution when she is doing something I don't want her to, usually, but I don't really consider that discipline, just damage control, lol. Ugh, how many times a day I get tired of telling her NO, Don't mess with the dog's bowl, and running her to the other end of the house. D.

DS just turned 2. When he was ~ 1 1/2, I bought 1-2-3 Magic. I like the concept, and apply the principles, though I'm probably not as consistent with it as I could be. I should add that I've never spanked my child, though it sure is tempting sometimes! (Spanking was the discipline of choice when I was growing up.) I have used time-outs with my child. Right now, his biggest problem is throwing things, usually really hard and out of anger. This morning, he threw his sippy cup really hard. I put him on time-out and set a timer for 3 minutes (one minute for every year of his life). I also try to incorporate natural consequences for behavior when appropriate. For instance, if the purposefully knocks a toy or sippy cup off the table and onto the floor out of anger, I will stand over him and tell him to stop whatever activity he is doing, pick up the object, and set it down nicely. I have also taken things away from him (basically put the object on "time out") after he threw them. On a side note, while I avoid corporal punishment with my child, I do understand that every parent has their own parenting style and mind my own business (abuse aside, of course).

I'm very late in chiming in here but here's MHO. DS was too smart for 1-2-3 when we came home with him at 3 years old. He would just wait till 3 to stop the behavior. We attachment parented and used time-ins with him the first year and half. After that we started with the "naughty chair". No, we don't call it a time out or the thinking chair. He goes there when he needs to change his behavior right now. If that doesn't work he goes to bed. (never actually had to do this but that would be the next step.) The naughty chair rules are you are there to be quiet and to regroup. You don't come off the chair if you are crying. So the crying usually stops right away. After the time in the chair (not usually more than a few minutes) you must go to the whoever you owe the apology to and look them in the eyes and apolgize. (no apology and it is back to the chair). The beauty of this is you can do it anywhere. We can designate a chair at Grandpa's the naughty chair if we need to. The first time or two was hard to keep him there and to get him to understand the rules. But he has it down pat now and it really works. DD is almost 3 now and has visited the chair as well. She actually spends more time on it now than he does. Again, the first few times are a little painful for everyone but she gets it. And she has become very good at apolgizing for her bad behavior (even if it is just to the cat!). I do redirect with both kids first. I think anything that is overused becomes ineffective in the end. This is the end of the line for them and they know it. We do tell them that they will go to bed as the next step if that is what has to happen.

M is 21 months old, and since one of her "things" is to hit when she's mad/frustrated (just her mom and dad, thankfully, not her playmates), we don't hit her!! We typically put her in her room (at home) for a few minutes, then have her show us "gentle". (where she rubs my face) The other night she was really pushing it, and when my husband told her to put my drink down, she dropped it with the most sneaky grin. She went to her room while I mopped, then she helped me dry the floor. If she's wiggling at diaper changes, I just walk out of the room and ignore her for a few seconds--that generally inspires her to stop. Outside, if she runs away/ignores the "Freeze" command, we come inside. If she wrestles me getting into the carseat, she doesn't get her music in the car. Really, we make it up as we go along!!!