reunion versus spouse relationships

Hi there, I think with mother's day coming up and the last 10 months since receiving first contact I'm having difficulty with sorting out emotions. A bit of history, I gave up my son when I was 17 as my now husband, who was 3 years older, was in university and convinced me that it was the best as he would have a better life (he was lucky to have great parents), my husband would finish school, as I should have and everyone would go on to lead productive lives. We eventually were married and have 2 beautiful kids, now 18 and 16. My son turns 27 this fall. It has been a rough go as, like so many others, I didn't receive any counselling, basically, went back to school and shut up about everything. My sister-in-law at the time did warn me to never blame my husband for forcing me to place my son for adoption. I think those are the emotions that are coming out now, as we never talked about him over the years even though I have had difficulties accepting his placement. I promised I wouldn't mention anything to the family until our other kids were 18 and it's ironic that his first contact was 3 months before y daughter's 18 birthday. Has anyone else been through this as well? Any advice? Don't mention counselling, as he'd never go for it and I've been doing it for years. Take care. :thanks: