Another Sad Let down/Our little boy went home

This surely has been a long long road. This is our 2nd failed adoption. The first after we had the baby for 2 weeks she changed her mind because family was making her feel bad. We thought we were so blessed again, when out of the blue, No advertising, because our profile was linked to my husbands business website, which I forgot about. It has been about a year in a half since we last tried with the adoption stuff. We got this wonderful email from a great woman that found our website and had chosen us to adopt her son. With many months of emails and phone conversations, than the month before the baby was born we flew her here to Maine to spend some time with us. We became very close. She was so determine to have us parent her child, than out of the blue we recieved a phone call from a potential father stating he felt he was the father of this baby. Our birth mom felt so sure that this baby did not belong to him and even had on going conversations with the man she thought it was. Well after speaking with our lawyer, she had indicated that if he is the father he will not ok the adoption and we could not proceed. We even thought about taking it all to court, but because of the constitutional rights that protect the birth fathers, We would ended up with a hefty lawyer and court fees and 98% chance to lose and because this right protects the father, we would have taken a huge chance for the courts to order us to pay back the birth father for all legal fees. So, we new that would be a losing battle and even if the birth father couldnt do anything right off, and came back in a few years we would had lost, this wasnt a chance we could take, so we all decided that if the DNA came back positive she would have to take the baby home. Well, the DNA was positive, I thought I was upset, but our poor birth mom was so upset and broken hearted. She has had the baby now for 2 weeks and she still wants us to take him, but legally we just cant..sighs.. NOW HOW CLOSE CAN A MIRACLE HAPPEN???? I dont think we will ever get this close again. To find that birth mom that came and stayed in our state, private adoption, and open.? Its just too sad, to see our little man go home. She has stayed in contact with us, and has even asked us if she could be a surrogate mom for us and she would be a donor and do it for free...although she isnt that excited about getting pregant right off, just having one a month ago, but we all know if we dont do it as soon as the doctor ok's it, lots can change our minds..But she was the greatest woman I have ever met, We asked her how, can she do this with such a strong heart? She responded, "the day I chose you as parents, was the day I knew I was carrying your child" I dont see it as mine..I did tell her with a strong heart like that she would make a great surrogate mother..so time will tell how this all turns out. But, its just so frustrating because we are older folks and time is everything. Sadly my husband has come to the conclusion that we will not have children together, but Its hard for me to give up because he loves them greatly! So, this year will be our last year to continue with the baby thing..We have been married 2 years and this is all we both have focused our time on and we know it has to stop sometime. Ok, well, I had to vent. I will let you know if anything comes from our birth mom being a surrogate for us. Thank You all Debbie