Check In..

Mother's Day was rough in itself (not helped by the announcement that our Pastor is being moved to another church; what a way to end an already difficult church service! GAH!). However, I had a scheduled therapy session the next day (so, Monday after Mother's Day) which was probably one of my smarter moves. It helped to talk about all of the things I was feeling (which was a mish-mosh of blah). We also hit on some things that I hadn't been able to figure out that were bothering me prior to the day itself.I've been slowly improving, including anxiety-wise in the month since Mother's Day. This year was probably my worst. I could take the easy road and blame it solely on pregnancy hormones but, as my therapist and I figured together, it was really a whole smashing together of multiple issues that I was really trying to avoid rather than deal with which only further created MORE anxiety. (Things that I logically KNOW but do anyway in hopes that I can just "get through" things.)

[FONT="Century Gothic"]I am just being pulled in so many directions that my mind hasn't been able to stop, so right now that is a good thing. I am getting together with L and my therapist, E in about 2 weeks and so my nerves are building and I want to just run and hide and let them talk about things and not be there incase I say something to upset L. Plus with the health of my Grams the past few weeks I have been unable to get in and see E so trying to connect by phone hasn't been really helpful either.[/FONT]

Mother's Day was mixed, we were working an anime convention (with a bunch of Jeff's friends) so it was part of a fun weekend, but I did have some sadness when everything was finally winding down. Plus it was hard for me not to talk about our DD at some point that weekend, but I'm bound and determined that I'm going to let Jeff tell his friends without me forcing the issue... well at least without me mostly forcing the issue.Jeff and my best friend both wished me a Happy Mother's Day on the day off which was nice and appreciated. Jeff's mom sent him an email a few days later saying that she should have but she didn't because she thinks I get over emotional... I've got mixed feelings about that statement.I'm struggling with some emotions right now, mostly based around the fact that DD's a-mom (Jeff's sis) just announced that she's pregnant (due in Dec). This hit me harder than my best friend's pregnancy (which I've mostly sorted out my feelings about).