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I know only a few of you are reading this right now and probably don't have the same issues, but who knows maybe someone who does will come and tell me I am not alone! LOLFirst off dh and my older boys are on a mission trip. Yesterday because it was my daughters anniversary of coming home. (she landed on US soil 7 years ago, we celebrate that day because it's when she met her brothers and we were finally all together as a family, we will do the same for my younger son's homecoming day) Anyway, so the three of us went out to lunch. It was actually very pleasant considering it was me and two 7 year olds who can still fight a lot. Anyway, I had taken his power chair in because it was the kind of place where you carry your tray to the table. Usually at restaraunts we carry him in because it's so hard to manuever the chair if the tables are close together. But this one isn't bad so we brought the chair in. We had a nice lunch and went out and put him in the car and then my lift would not close. It's an under the floor thing. The problem is with the lift sticking out, I can't shut the doors and I certainly can't drive the car down the road, never mind 15 miles home. There is a manual crank you can use, but it seemed stuck. It took me all afternoon in 90degree weather to get it in. By the end my hands were bruised and had blisters. So we got it home and I called the people and they told me to bring it in. Well it's a two and a half hour drive. So I decide dd will skip tutoring and we get up early and go. We sit in the showroom for two hours waiting and they tell me it's really, really broken and they need it for a few days. Well, great, but how do I get home? Plus dd and ds are going to a special camp for a week starting Sunday. So how do I get his chair there, since it's trapped in the van. Finally they tell me that they could not work on it this week anyway as they are too busy. So they loan me a ramp so I can get the wheelchair in and out. Only problem is ramp is at the other store an hour away. (opposite way from home) or they tell me to come back in the morning and they will have it from other store. Well, that would not work, so we go visit grandma (who lives in that town) and grandpa to give them a fathers day gift. Grandma feeds the kids lunch and we go on to drive to the other store. We hit traffic and then coming home we hit one of those big storms where you can't see two feet in front of you and everyone is driving 30. You know how you want to grip the steering wheel hard during a storm like that, but try doing it with bruised and blistered hands! So it takes us several hours to get home, so I skipped church and just fell into bed. Anyway, it's got to get better right? We have no idea how much this is going to cost, but it's sounding expensive so we are very worried.
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Geez..sounds to me these places need to hone their customer service!! They really could have made this process much easier on you I think, given the travel distance and time. They know how difficult it will br for someone when they are going to be when working on their vans, so why they don't have a couple of rental vans equipped with ramps is beyond me!
At any rate....I think you earned a stay home in jammies and play games, recover, sleep all day today and then some! Ya, I know you likely can't take the day, but you EARNED it! Take care of those hands too, that's painful!
I guess what bothered me the most, was realizing how dependent my son will always be on technology. If his power chair dies or if his car breaks down as an adult, he will have a real problem. We bought the van used so it has no warrenty or anything. It really stinks, but we really need that van running to give my son as normal a life as possible.
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ya, that's a reality to be faced with for sure. I know it's not the same "level" at all, so I'm not attempting to compare, but I would just say that because it's a reality, he'll likely be more prepared for things as they happen and find ways to prevent it or when things do happen, have a good back up in place or solutions. I have back ups in place for things with my equipment etc., and learn as I go, kwim?
Back up chair, or triple AAA or other car services that have programs, know the numbers of places close by, services etc. All things that will become a part of yours and his later adult/independent life.
Stinks to happen and stinks that it has to be a reality though...(((HUGS)))
Most of the time I do try to think of that. He has a back up power chair in the garage and of course his manual chair. I am also thinking we will go ahead and buy the 460.00 ramp they loaned us so we can get his chair out of the van if this happens again. Dh and I have discussed how he will probably need to be sure to find jobs near either one of his siblings or us when he grows up. When he drives his car will be so customized he won't be able to drive a rental, so he will have to find other transportation if he travels and he wil need to have options at home. We will probably discuss these things with him more as he gets older. Right now he thinks there is nothing he can't do. He truly beleives that he can do anything and gets mad if we tell him he can't do it. He is furious that I have not signed him up for either Karate or guitar lessons. There is a lot he can do, more than most people would expect, but there are limitations though he won't accept them right now. He draws himself with two arms and two legs. With P we had the opposite issue, she is more afraid to try things. We were trying to plan a family event for the in laws fiftieth anniversary, and my sil was a little frustrated when she realized that we had to call places and see if they were wheelchair accesable and such. She informed me that our decision to adopt this child affected the whole family and perhaps we should have thought of that. GRRRR. She also forbid me to adopt any more kids till my older ones are out of high school. (that just made me want to go out and find six more! LOL, but dh said no) I am still sure we did the right thing, but sometimes the financial and physical burden is bigger than we had anticipated. Remember being a foreign adoption we get no money from the state and wiped out our savings to pay for the adoption. We did not get any discounts on any fees. My sil treats my son well, but when we are alone makes it clear to me that she thinks I am nuts and she can't beleive I did this to my other kids and to the rest of the family. (course she said the same thing about my daughter 7 years ago, but now she and my daughter are very close)
oh! I didn't mean you weren't prepared or anything like that! I mean...who the heck is gonna think that the ramp is going to break? Just meant that the realities have a way of showing up as you go along. It's just as anyone goes along...stuff happens and you think "okay, so this could happen again". That's all I meant...in response to your comment of him having to depend on technology. Just meant...yes, but on the other side of that...you do get creative and figure things out easier too. Because you deal with more unexpected things at times. So in a way...you gain back a sense of independence.:) Which goes very well with his confidence level and that will help him stay confident too. He'll make lemonade out of the situations that happen and that's good to have!
Your sister doesn't sound very "fun". Sorry she isn't more understanding!:(
I know you didn't mean anything like that. :grouphug: I think I let my sil get to me, and the fact that DH did not want to do this adoption at first and had huge doubts that we could afford to raise a fourth child, and about the extra costs that would come with this child. But I pushed and pushed. His family (my family is not in the picture, some of you know why) was against this. My sil ended up having to take my kids part of the time we were gone because one of the people who was going to take them had emergency surgery. (that meant she saw my messy house!!!!) She is sweet most of the time and does love my kids, however she is a 40 something single woman who is very set in her ways. She is a total neat freak. She considers my kids very much her kids. Her friends are all married and have kids so when they have parties or something she will often borrow mine. However, now she will not take all of them as four is too many, and last time she had only three the two little ones fought the whole time so she says from now on she will take two at a time far apart in age and will take any but M alone. M she says she can't lift due to a bad back, so she will take him with one of the big boys since she can't put his power chair in her car. On a good note, I just figured out that with the ramp I can get that chair into the back of my minivan! It will be a tight fit and not tied down so he can't ride in it, but it will fit and so we can move the chair while he is at camp!!! :grouphug:
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Whew! I would feel horrible if you thought I meant to be rude or critical! :)
I can understand a bit of the "4 is too much"...because let's face it, for many, 4 kids IS a handful! LOL! Our 10 year anniversary is in 2008 and we are planning a trip to Italy. I already know that finding 1 place for the kids to stay is going to be quite a challenge.
Don't let it all get you down though...you love your son, it WAS the right decision and sometimes we doubt ourselves during stressful times.:loveyou:
Glad you figured out the chair in the van! That really helps, that he can go to camp and life keeps moving on despite the bumps!:earth: