My girlfriend is pregnant ... Need advice

Hello, I'm stressed to the absolute max. My brain is in a fog and I could use some honest opinions and advice. Knowing myself (and the situation) this might be a bit of a long post, so I'll apologize in advance (and thank those who still choose to read it). First I'll try to give a (relatively) brief description of my situation. I'm 22 years old, just graduated from college (a month ago), and my girlfriend is 21. We've been seeing each other a little over a year. We've had amazing chemistry and our relationship has been incredible in nearly all aspects with only a few exceptions (major ones), most notably ... trust. She has deceived me, and continues to. She's truly what I feel is a compulsive liar (lies to the point that she probably believes her lies about some things). I know she had some rough experiences as a child, and I feel she has projected a significant amount of her pain onto me. Until now, I consciously chose to take as much of the pain and give as much of my love as I could until she/we were either fixed or I was completely burnt out. So, what is THE situation? She's 34 weeks pregnant. About 2-3 months ago I first noticed that she had gained a little bit of weight in her stomach. I decided it was too important to ignore and I asked her (as nicely as I could) if she was pregnant. She went into a lengthy explanation of how she wasn't pregnant and would know if she was. She told me that she gains weight in her stomach and not in her breasts or butt like other girls ... and it made a bit of sense as I knew her to be an active girl, always playing sports, until recently when we had been a bit lazy and eating lots of fast food. Anyway, about a week passed and it was still on my mind, so I asked her if we could do a pregnancy test. I'll spare the details of exactly what happened over the next two months, but many fights, discussions, faked pregnancy tests (about five of them), lies about birth control/periods/etc, I finally put my foot down and essentially expressed that she needed to take a test with me in the room or we were through. This might sound harsh, but please take my word in that I've been nothing but supportive, appreciative and loving of this girl since day one, and nothing else. She took the test, and of course it was positive. The most disturbing aspect of the deception is that after I first brought it up to her and she told me she wasn't pregnant, she continued to consume alcohol, take prescription drugs (Valium, Vicodin, Tramadol, etc). Once her pregnancy was out in the open, I spoke with her in length about the pill-taking and she gave me several teary-eyed promises that she felt horrible that she had taken pills and consumed alcohol while she was pregnant and that it wouldn't happen again. Needless to say, I found Percocet (or, as she explained, vitamins her mother gave her) in her purse a few days later. I told her we needed to talk to her doctor about the pill issue so that she could get help and be taken care of. In-patient care options soon became few and far between, so now I have taken the role of 24/7 supervisor, more or less. I have to watch her and have her with me at all times, for the baby's sake. So, that's a bit of what's happened, but the bigger issue is what to do with our child. She wants adoption, but says she might be "okay" with my parent's offer (which I'll explain in a moment). Initially I was very in favor of adoption. It all came on so fast and I am definitely not ready to raise a child. I confided in my parents what is going on, and at first they offered their support. They were pained to see how badly I've been hurt and am hurting, and told me that whatever decision I make will be the right decision. Soon, though, they expressed their desire to adopt the child (legally adopt, largely for the child's protection, but also with the intent of giving the child the vast majority of its care). The expression of their desire has soon turned into EXTREME pressure to let them do this. They want it very badly. They're trying to paint a pretty, simplistic picture for me, featuring, more than anything, "you'll be able to be as involved or not-involved as you want" and "family is best" and "if you're going to give the child for adoption, we should be allowed to be the ones to adopt it." I do not resent my parent's desire to raise (or help raise) the child, but I absolutely resent the pressure and their unwillingness to acknowledge that their adoption of the child is vastly different from a third party's adoption of the child. I am responsible and will need to be around for the child. The child is a person and will soon be able to ask on his own where Dad is, and I'm not the kind of person that will be able to live an uninvolved life and pretend this child isn't asking for me, loving me, and missing me. I feel as though my parents will (almost already do) hate me if I choose adoption by a third party for the child. So ... I understand that I need to make the right decision for this child for the right reasons. I don't want to be pressured into something, act out of guilt, or make a rash decision. The problem is, time is running very short, and between the tremendous amount of stress, my depression, the extreme pressure from my parents, I'm finding it harder and harder to clear my head and think straight. I feel rather hopeless and lost. I'm having to be strong and watch my girlfriend and see that she's taken well care of and gets to her appointments and whatnot, but largely I feel immobilized. It's hard to remember what day of the week it is or what my last meal was, anymore. I brought in a counselor to meet with my parents and me in hopes that she could help my parents understand what they're doing, but it was a pretty useless session. So, for those of you who put up with my long-windedness, I could use some advice. I know I need to relax and clear my head, but what do you (honestly) think of the situation? Please don't hold anything back. I take any and all opinions as just that -- other people's opinions -- so don't be afraid of wording something in such a way that it's going to influence me more than it should. If you think something, say it ... I'd appreciate it. What concerns should I be considering with the idea of my parents adopting the child (which would likely be more of a helping me raise the child -- especially at first -- situation than a true adoption)? I worry for the child in this situation, and I worry for me. The child will know it has a father and need that father, and I will need to be around for him or her. I will be responsible and do that, but I fear that it will have drastic implications for my other goals and needs (finding mental stability, finding myself, traveling, learning, working, falling in love, etc). My girlfriend says that she too wouldn't be able to pretend the child isn't there and would be involved -- which could be bad for the child, either because she's irresponsible or that she's so irresponsible that we have to get a restraining order to protect the child ... from its own mother. I suppose I could survive this type of ordeal, but it's not something I look forward to. My parents are 57 and 52. When the child is 18 they will be 75 and 70 (assuming they're still alive). Clearly this is something that would be very hard on the child, and would be even more indicative of the fact that I will need to step up as Dad (and probably sooner rather than later ... taking my time to figure myself out and then jumping into the father role at whatever age the child is at when I'm ready seems pretty unrealistic and irresponsible. The real kicker is that my parents have been acting more "together" on this issue than anything I've ever seen throughout their whole marriage. They're acting like everything will be perfect, but I spent the majority of the past 22 years believing (with good reason) that my parents were about to divorce at any moment. My mother is very close to me because my father "never talks," and I do, and yet suddenly now she understands him and he understands her and they're ready to help with this child? Part of me fears (I'll state it rather bluntly) that my parents are feeling the empty nest, the lull of their "okay" marriage, and think the child (whom they'd love and would treat well) will be a great thing to focus on and bring meaning back into their lives. I don't think this is okay -- I think they're great people, but I feel like there might be selfish motivations in their offer. A child isn't a solution to a void in a marriage or people's lives. A decision to keep a child needs to be made because it is the right decision -- not just an emotional one. I'm scared to keep this child, but I'm also very scared to give it up for adoption and then spend the rest of my life regretting it (or not being able to have peace with the decision). My thoughts are clouded, and my horribly pessemistic/stressed/obsessive mind is making it all so much more difficult. As you can tell I type way too much, but this is a complex issue and I wanted to try to get as much of it out as possible. Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for your thoughts. :coffee: