Out of options

Hi and welcome to the forums. As a Moderator here at Adoption.com I want to let you know that we do not allow solicitation for your baby here. If anyone PM's you asking to adopt your baby please contact me or another moderator. We want this to be a safe place for you to get answers to your questions and find support.Good luck!

There are agencies that will help homeless families get on their feet. What are do you live in? Most counties now have 211. That is the number you dial to get refered to social service agencies in your area. I would strongly advise against having a prospective adoptive couple help you out with expenses. It creates feelings of obligation. I have heard many birthmoms say they placed because they felt that they "owed" them. It is not a good way to start any kind of relationship even if you do place. The other problem with accepting support from the adopting parents is that support is only temporary. Working on a plan that will give you long lasting change is going to be the most helpful. Can I ask how you support yourself now? Are you getting any assistance from the goverment or your children's father? Have you applied for section 8 housing?

Also depending upon where you live, if you don't mind being in touch with a religious organization, a lot of Catholic Dioceses have social service and other outreach programs. If you want to PM me, I can give you the 1-800 number that my diocese has, and maybe they can direct you to someone in your area who can help.

I personally second the church route, go to a local priest, rabbi, ect... they are a wealth of information and know of families looking to adopt~!

ricandj, I will keep you and your children in my thoughts and prayers. There definitely are resources that could possibly help you to parent this new child along with your other three. Explore these. If you determine that an adoption plan is best for this baby you are expecting, know that different states have different laws regarding whether and what sort of living expenses potential adoptive parents can pay. It could in fact be possible that receiving assistance to support your 3 children from prospective adoptive parents for your fourth child could make you feel obligated to follow through on an adoption plan even if you are having second thoughts. That said, there are agencies/attornies that, depending on state laws, can match you with a prospective adoptive family that is capable of and willing to pay some legally approved living expenses ON THE UNDERSTANDING THAT THIS DOES NOT GUARANTEE OR OBLIGATE YOU TO PLACE YOUR CHILD WITH THEM. Moreover, there ARE prospective adoptive parent committed to ethical adoptions who would agree: 1) that the choice to parent is YOUR choice and a good one; 2) that any legal living expenses they offer during your pregnancy are offered at THEIR own risk and IN NO WAY obligate you to place your child with them upon birth if you are having second thoughts. I said in a previous post and will say again that IF you decide to pursue an adoption plan you can look for prospective adoptive parents who have adopted before and have shown themselves to be commited to honoring agreements about contact and updates with birthparents. I would add to this to that: interview agencies or attornies and prospective adoptive parents. There certainly are plenty of them that would be willing to work with you. There are some out there, maybe in your state, maybe elsewhere, whose first priority is to see if they can assist you in parenting and only after that to match you with a prospective adoptive family. If you are matched, see if the family assures you throughout your pregnancy that they respect your right to parent, even as they prepare for the birth of your child. There really are people out there who want to adopt and are willing to share this journey with you, who may hope to welcome your child as a son/daughter but will not expect it, people who are happy to assist you whatever your choice may be and who would honor your permanent place in your child's life (and his/her siblings' place) if you do decide to place the baby. If you settle on adoption as the right choice for this baby, be as picky about an attorney, agency, adotpive parents as you need to be. I wish you the very best.

It doesn't sound horrible to want to better your and your children's lives, but I don't really see having aparents pay your living expenses as any real solution. I mean, what happens after the baby is born? Whether you choose to place the baby for adoption or parent you'll be in the same boat you are now. It's a temporary fix, when you're really needing a longer-term solution. Like others have suggested ask around until you find a (non-adoption) organization to help you get into your own place. Then, if you still want to place your baby, you can also talk to an agency and do that as well. But, I really don't think the two issues should have much overlap, especially since you need some pretty substantial assistance. It's not fair to you (may create a sense of obligation to place, even if you change your mind) and not fair to the potential aparents (if you choose to parent, they're out big bucks and may feel pretty hurt and used - regardless of your intentions) Take care.

Please, please, don't blend adoption and your financial issues. If you keep them separate, you can make the best decision about whether or not to place your child for adoption, free of feelings of financial coercion or obligation to the potential adoptive parents.If you need financial or logistical help, please contact your local department of social services. They can help you get WIC (food for the kids and for you), TANF (a cash grant), and food stamps. They can also help you find affordable housing.Good luck. We're all pulling for you!