Weird Dreams (really long)

I don't normaly post here. I am normally on a Canadian site. So I will introduce myself a little. I placed my 2nd child in an open adoption 2 1/2 years ago. My first child just turned 5. I have regular contact with my sons parents. I am fairly content with the adoption and everything surrounding it. Latley thought I have been having dreams about adoption that are bugging. They are making me think I am not as settled as I think and I would rather hit the problems head on instead of not paying attention So here is what I posted on the other site. If anyone has any ideas to share that would be great. Ok this is really long. Now I should probably start this by saying that my boyfriend and I have been talking about having a baby together. It is not going to happen right now but it has been talked about and I do want to have a pregnancy and birth that is planned and celebrated. So anyway, I have had two dreams. One was a while ago and I dont remember it as well as the one that I had last night. But here goes. So in the first dream I was in the late stages of pregnancy, and I had made an adoption plan. I donҒt know why because I wanted the baby. It was with some people, who were friends with Wade and Julia, and I was going to place my child with them and they were giving Wade and Julia a puppy. Now I was so sad and I wanted to take my child home but I didnt want to hurt their feelings. I think the baby was around at some part and I knew that I was going to take the baby home but then I couldnҒt. I dont know why. I think part of it was that I felt so guilty for keeping my child. The next dream was the same sort of thing. I had had a baby and I had made an adoption plan. I was living with the people that I had decided to place with but everyone was waiting for me to make the decision to keep the child or to place. Again I felt so guilty for getting these people hopes up. the baby was so small. So I decided to give the baby a bath. This is where the dream gets completely absurd. The baby was now a goldfish and was in my hands cupped in water. The goldfish was still so important and I loved it so much. But I dropped it. But then I picked it back up and got it into the bathtub. The water was draining out of the bathtub and I had to try to stop the goldfish/baby from going down the drain. All the while I was thinking about how these people were judging me on how I was taking care of the baby or that I was just taking care of the baby for them even thought I knew that I wanted my baby back and That time was running out. So the water was running out and I was trying to save the goldfish baby, and my thoughts were that if the goldfish baby went down the drain I could always replace it at the Pet store for the adoptive parents but that my child would be gone forever. Then I woke up crying Well that is it. I want to clarify that Wade and Julia never pressured me. Cause that is what it sounds like in the dreams. So any opinions on what they mean (especially the goldfish part, I mean really a goldfish for a baby) would be greatly appreciated.