Jewish baby naming ceremony?

I did my DD's naming at the Synagogue. I had originally planned to do it at the welcome home reception I had planned for the next day, but the rabbi talked me into having it at the temple. There was another child named at the same time. We had my family and several of parents friends there for the service.Afterwards we went for a late dinner. I think we contributed to the Oneg, but did not host it since the other family had planned farther in advance for the naming. THe next day I had a party for about 70 people - combo 6th birthday, welcome home and naming.

Thanks Momm2be. I appreciate it. We dont have my baby's birthday or any special occasion coming up, but the idea of folks going out to dinner afterwards sounds quite nice. I'm glad you had a nice occasion! Amy K, NJ

Amy, I had Becca converted to Judaism in a Conservative mikvah in Washington, DC about two months after we got home -- a very moving ceremony. You should really consider a mikvah conversion as part of your daughter's entry into the community of Jewish people. If you do one, it should be done before the naming. Your rabbi would be delighted to help you arrange a mikvah immersion, no matter what his/her branch of Judaism is. You will probably be asked whether you insist on an Orthodox conversion, or whether you will accept a non-Orthodox one. With an Orthodox conversion, it may be difficult to find a mikvah or rabbis that will do the ceremony if you are non-Orthodox, but it is possible. And not all non-Orthodox communities have their own mikvah, though if you live in a major metro area, I'll bet there's one within driving distance. In our case, I was comfortable with having a non-Orthodox conversion, complete with three female rabbis. I figured that, if Becca ever wants to move to Israel or to marry an Orthodox man, she could always "go skinny dipping" again. DC has a wonderful mikvah that is part of a Conservative synagogue, and one reason I had to wait two months after homecoming to do the conversion was that there was a long wait for a mikvah appointment; it's a busy place. The mikvah experience is not a social occasion. Mikvaot are not set up for parties. There's a waiting room, a locker room (baby must be naked for the immersion, and Mom or Dad will wear a bathing suit), and the specially designed pool. But when you immerse your child and recite the blessings, you may find yourself truly choked up with emotion. The ceremony is very brief. Basically, when it is your turn, you will go into the locker room and change to your swimsuit. You will remove your child's clothes and make sure that she is dry and clean. You will then go into the mikvah. Three rabbis will usually stand in the waiting room, with the door open a crack, although liberal rabbis may actually come onto the pool deck. They will then tell you how to dunk your child. As soon as you have done so, they will have you recite the immersion blessings. They can say them first and have you repeat after them, or you can learn them in advance. One of the blessings is Shehechayonu, which you already may know from the fact that it is said on Jewish holidays. You will then exit the pool, get dressed and dress your child, and return to the waiting room, where you will receive a naming certificate. It is customary to make a donation to the mikvah and to offer an honorarium to the rabbis; you'll be told about this, and whether there's a recommended amount (usually low), in advance. Then, I had Becca named in our Reform synagogue on the Friday night following her conversion. Our synagogue routinely did namings at Friday night services. The parent(s) and, sometimes, other relatives such as grandparents, were invited by the rabbi to the bimah right after the sermon. While there were often some "customizations" for specific families, there was usually something for the parent(s) to read, about promising to love and care for the child. Then there was the announcement of the child's Hebrew name (Becca's is Rivka Gilat bat Sarah Chana K......) and the reasons for the choice of name. And there was the blessing for daughters. One thing I wish I had done, and that you may want to consider, is to see whether the chazzan (cantor) would sing a particular Jewish song for your child. My choice would have been the Debbie Friedman "Lechi-lach", which is loosely based on a parasha in Genesis. It says, in a mixture of Hebrew and English, "Go forth to a place that I will show you. Go forth to a land you do not know. Go forth; on your journey I will bless you. And you shall be a blessing; go forth. Go forth, and I shall make your name great. Go forth, and all shall praise your name. Go forth; on your journey I shall bless you. With the joy of living, go forth." In the Torah, the passage refers to Abraham. However, it resonates strongly with me in terms of a song for an adopted child who is entering a new country. I can't sing it without getting tears in my eyes. In our Reform synagogue, it was customary for the parent(s) of the named child to sponsor the Oneg Shabbat after the service. The Sisterhood actually bought all the goodies -- families could buy one of three "packages" in terms of what was served. The Sisterhood also set up, poured the punch, tea, and coffee, and cleaned up, so the parents could socialize with their guests and the congregation. I enjoyed the naming and the Oneg Shabbat, even though Becca screamed through the naming part. She had a blast at the Oneg Shabbat, however, as she was a total party animal. She loved all the attention, and as long as Mom was close by, she worked the crowd like a pro. We had some relatives and friends attend. One of the attendees, six months younger than Becca, who was adopted at the same time and from the same orphanage, chose the occasion to walk unassisted for the first time. It was truly a special gift to all of us. When I called folks to invite them to the naming, I specifically said "no gifts", since some of the same people gave us baby showers, and since it was a religious occasion, not a party. However, just about everyone gave us gifts, and we wound up having to find a large plastic trash bag in the synagogue kitchen to carry home all the "loot". You can certainly choose NOT to do a naming in a synagogue, if you wish. Many people do the naming at home, with or without a rabbi in attendance. Anita Diamond's "New Jewish Baby Book" gives very good suggestions for the content of a naming ritual, and she even gives some special recommendations for children who are coming to their families via adoption. Sharon

For us, since we have a now 21 month old son, things are a little different. We are traditional conservative, so when we got home we did go to the synagogue, simply for Daddy to have an aliyah to thank G-d for the safe trip (he had one before we left too). The rabbi made mention of Sam, who refused to come to the bimah and stayed in Mommy's arms. We only invited our parents, since it was 10 days after we got home. We are now in the process of having the circumsion done. Due to DS's age, it will be done as an outpatient surgical procedure at a hospital, with a mohel (approved by the orthodox board of rabbis) present. The doctor does 99% and the mohel simply has to get a drop of blood. We will then take DS to the local orthodox mikvah for his "skinny-dipping". We chose to do this fully under the orthodox so that later in life, there will never be anyone that won't accept his conversion. If it is done by the orthodox, reform and conservatives will accept it, but not vice-versa. It is not just about marrying an orthodox woman, it could be simply moving to Israel under Law-of-Return, or being a Jewish witness for something later in life.

By the way, there is a very real precedent for using a synagogue as the venue for a baby-naming. In Germany and Eastern Europe, when a woman gave birth to a girl, her husband would usually go to the synagogue on the next Monday, Thursday, or Saturday morning -- these being the days when the Torah is read in Orthodox and Conservative congregations. (The wife was usually either still in the hospital, or at home recovering from the birth, and the baby was generally not taken to public gatherings because of concerns that she could get sick.) The husband would be honored by being given an "aliyah" -- a call up to the bimah to recite the Hebrew blessings before and after a particular section of the Torah was read. When the husband was called up, his own Hebrew name was used, as the Hebrew name is used for all ceremonial functions in Judaism. At some other point during the service or the reception afterwards, he would also be invited to tell the other people present the Hebrew name of his new daughter and why it was chosen. It was usually chosen to honor a deceased relative or two, and members of the congregation often knew those people. So it was an opportunity for people not just to celebrate the new baby, but also for them to remember people they knew who were no longer alive. After the service, there would be a little reception. While nowadays, people don't usually drink alcohol at such receptions, except for a sip of ceremonial wine when the Kiddush blessings are said, it was fairly common back then for the men to have a little "schnapps" -- a generic term for a fruit brandy -- or some other alcoholic beverage. There is a much weaker precedent for doing a baby naming for a girl at home. Traditionally, and even today among many Jews of all varieties, when a baby BOY was born, he was circumcised ritually on the eighth day of his life. The circumcision ceremony is called "brit milah" (covenant of circumcision in Hebrew), or simply "bris" (covenant in Yiddish). The name derives from the agreement, described in the Bible, between God and Abraham, who is often considered the first Jew and the first Jewish man to undergo ritual circumcision. This ritual circumcision of a male newborn was generally done -- and is still often done -- at the parents' home, by a mohel, a pious Jew specially trained to do both the procedure and the ceremony. Family and friends usually attended. Sometimes, grandparents were included, along with the parents, in the ritual. During the ceremony, the Hebrew name of the child was announced, and the reason for giving the name -- again, usually to honor deceased relatives -- was mentioned. Again, this gave family and friends a chance, not only to think about the wonderful new baby, but also to remember people who were no longer present. After a bris, it was (and still is) common for a little party to occur. If Mom wasn't up to organizing it, eight days after giving birth, there were usually plenty of relatives helping out by bringing food and drink. The baby, who usually stops fussing pretty quickly after the procedure, often sleeps through the party. In short, there is a traditional home ceremony, but it is for a boy's bris, not for a girl's naming. But if you are not all that traditional, there is no religious or other reason for NOT doing a girl's naming ceremony at home. Sharon

We had a baby naming for our daughter at a Conservative synagogue and we did co-sponsor the oneg (with a family having a Bar Mitzvah that week). We may have done a private ceremony but my nephew was the assistant Rabbi at the synagogue we did it in and he had done the conversion.I would not get too hung up on the type of Rabbi. Under Jewish law no one not born Jewish can be forced to convert, not even by a parent, so, no matter what you do now, the child will need to undergo another conversion after age 13 (when the person is deemed capable of maiking his/her own decision).