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I am just curious if any of you ever wished that you made the choice to parent at a younger age? Or are you happy with the choice that you made to parent at an older age?
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Single mom of 9 1/2 and 5 year old boys, just turned 42. I started the process when I was 6 years ago so still in my 30's. Would I do it younger - doubt it. Though it was something that I was thinking about and talking about I still had a lot of living left to do. I love to travel and did alot of it in my 20's and 30's. I was not ready to be a parent at that time. I have many friends who told me that they wished they had done the traveling before having kids. I am glad that I did it because I am not sure how much I would be able to do now with or without kids. Too much responsiblity and the tours that I went on only went up to 35. Once you get older than that and still need the single supplement your costs go up dramatically. I am now looking at trips that I can take with my boys. I have a friend in Australia - from one of my trips that I would love to take my boys to visit. Though the energy at 42 isn't what it was at 32 but oh well. Can't have everything.:prop:
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Between my batches of kids I traveled the world and ended up permanently relocated to the other side of the globe. The travel bug doesn't bite like it used to, but we do fly somewhere at least once a year, and now with little ones ... 4.5 and 2. Even with them this small, it's a hoot. Our trip to Kenya last year was a total blast for all of us. Kids learn to travel well, and although we've avoided really long flights so far ... over 7 hours ... another year or so will see us doing that, too. We try to book night flights when possible so the kids sleep most of the way, which helps.Pack 'em up and go, I say!
I became a parent (by birth) the first time at the age of 22. And the last time (thru adoption) at the age of 54. I don't regret parenting at either age. Honestly, though, I really think I'm a better parent now than I was when I was younger. I know what's really important, what to stress about and what to let go. I've lived a very full life, leaving very few stones unturned, and I'm able to give more of myself this time around. Having a husband 10 years younger helps also. As for the "grandma" thing . . . I can't say I'm FLATTERED when someone asks if I'm the grandma. I can say I'm old enough and wise enough just NOT TO CARE. Yes, I am grandma to 6 and old enough to be grandma to these children. Just SO BLESSED, instead, to be their mommy. And people tell me I don't nearly look my age. Whether it's true or whether they just like me a lot, I'll accept that compliment any day.
The grandma comments alway floor me. "Oh, your grandchildren are sooo cute." I get it when I am with MY DAD. So... is it he's a young looking grandpa with a young chicki for a wife or am I looking OLD??????? We just have a chuckle about it and go on our way. Usually it's some young cashier at the grocery store who has no clue on age, life, etc....
The funny thing... I always thought it would happen to my husband first... he is the one with the grey hair.
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dragonfly1234
I am just curious if any of you ever wished that you made the choice to parent at a younger age? Or are you happy with the choice that you made to parent at an older age?
dragonfly1234
I am just curious if any of you ever wished that you made the choice to parent at a younger age? Or are you happy with the choice that you made to parent at an older age?
I have done it both ways - Had a baby at 19 and 26 and now adopting a 6 yr old at 46. I would not change anything. I am a different parent this time around. My older boys think I am much easier on the my adopted son, but I don't sweat the little stuff. You really could be grandparents at 36 (or earlier). Since I am 46 and my son's birth mom is younger than my oldest, I never get upset.
We have 4 children, dd age 20 (adopted at age 10), ds 16 (bio), dd 13 (bio) and dd 9 (bio). I had my first (bio) child when I was 22. We are now in the process of adopting a child from Vietnam. Chances are, I will be over 40 when the new baby arrives. I truly do not feel any less energetic than when I had my first bio child (although I guess I should wait for my first sleepness night when the new baby gets here!) :camo: I look at my 20 year old dd, and say -- how could I have been about her age with a newborn! On the other hand, I loved being a young mom and really never focused on my age. I always had plenty of new-mom friends who were 10 to 20 years older than me, and never thought anything of it. Now I will be one of the "older" moms. This is just the way it worked out for me, and I am happy with it all. I have much more perspective now, and think I will enjoy the "little things" more with our new baby. And at this point, I am old enough to simply not care what other people think about my age!! :clap:
Monica
PAP
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I would like to have a another child, my husband doesnt.
When we married he was already 35( I was 25). He didnt even want to start thinking or trying for kids until he was 40 so we could save up extra money. Then we faced a few years of infertility and trying to adopt, and we became parents. He will soon be 46 and I am 35.
I do wish it were different. I would like another child. However, my husband works 6 days a week, and says he's exhausted all the time. I wonder if he was 10 years younger if he would feel differently....
Amy K, NJ
Amyfk,I doubt it's an age issue. My husband works 12 hour days, six days a week, and spending time with our 4.75-year-old and 2-year-old is how he relaxes. The kids energize him in ways that nothing did before.Some of his work he does at home, and having the kids around while he's working makes it more fun for him, even if it takes him a bit longer.
dragonfly1234
I am just curious if any of you ever wished that you made the choice to parent at a younger age? Or are you happy with the choice that you made to parent at an older age?
Like a pp said, I regret that I wasn't ready to adopt earlier. . . but I'm glad that I waited until I was ready. I have the patience to be the mom I want to be now, and am secure enough in my job that I don't feel a need to climb higher (for now anyway). What I regret is that I didn't adopt when OTHERS in my life were younger, e.g., my parents, my niece and nephew, my great aunt (who passed away a few years ago). I would have loved for my son to grow up side by side with my niece and nephew, for my parents to have the energy they had when they were younger, and for my son to have known my aunt, who was such an important and special influence in my life. But. . . c'est la vie!:coffee:
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i first became a parent at 20, dh - 24. all i know is i was really tired then too! here i am almost 21 years nad 12 kids later and i am still tired. DH says he is really tired. oh, really! he has gotten up in the night maybe a total of 20 times in the last 20 years. he says he is too tired to have any more babies. i am a better parent now, at 41. more patient, relaxed, forgiving. but i was a great parent at 20 too - hey, i was so young i didnt know anything but being a mom - not worried about anything else - too young to worry about money, traveling, education. we travel a ton with my kiddos. we take long flights to wonderful places and short drives to fun little spots. my kids are great travelers - i think its a learned thing. any regrets about parenting later in life? absolutely not. i feel like i could do this forever - OK, with 12 kids, i will be doing this forever! i never thought i would be adopting babies in my 40's - but hey, these are my kids, how can i turn them away?
Dh and I married at 34 and put off starting a family till the "time was right" - insurance and stuff like that. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have waited. But, as others have said, things turned out the way they should have for us - Olivia was meant to be ours!
I do tell friends who are in their 30s that if they want a family, don't wait - you just never know what fate has in store for you... but that's just my opinion!