7/10/1976 female born in longview, wa - looking for CI advice

I used WARM and I think their heart is in the right place but the results were not great. I cannot say whether a different method of contact would have given any different results. Kind regards,Dickons

I used an independent CI. I thought I did my homework. I spoke with and interviewed several CI's before I choose one. I asked for recommendations from other triad members just like you are doing. I took into account the varying fees of the CI's too. I'd be glad to tell you how they don't work..... I got a canceled check for my efforts. I most certainly would suggest to you that you join a Search and Support Group in WA- and begin searching on your own behalf, first. Don't hand such an important event (your search and contact) to a stranger. They are doing a J O B- and couldnt possibly put the emotion and energy that you would into the effort. If you are not successful, using the CI would still be an avenue to open those sealed records. Some things I wish I would have questioned further before I opened my wallet and hired a CI: How heavy is their case load? My CI bragged about the number of cases she had worked and closed. When I sat down and did the math of how many on average per week she would have to petition the court to open the records, gather the info from the state/agency........do the actual search.......and then, make a "discreet" contact with the person...... its really a small wonder that anyone is reunited at all. Will the CI search for BOTH parents? My CI offered to search for both parents (for a higher fee, of course) I jumped on the chance to have info on my fraternal family! I had to pay in full before the records were petitioned to be opened. Therefore, you won't know IF your Father was named in any of the documents. If he's not (a pretty common thing back then) you're SOL! No refunds, no discount. Thinking back, there are alot of things that happened with my CI search that I never agreed to, nor wanted to happen. Bottom line........you loose ALL control. You will have NO say. I would be glad to help you locate adoption search and support groups in WA.

Thanks for the posting, lisalyanne. I too have thought about getting a CI but after reading mn125's posting I will definately hold off. However, I would like to know how to locate a search and support group and how you did your search without the state, court etc. My parents are not really supporting my decision to search. Thanks!

Spirit93 Sorry to hear your ap's are not supportive of your search. I never told mine about my search/reunion because of all the drama I "knew" they would toss in my lap. I'm sending you a PM about WA support groups. I live near the other Washington (DC) and between networking with support groups in both locations, I found my Mother (who didnt want to be found) and my family. We are all reunited.

Thank you for your response mn125! I would also like info on wa support groups! I have started my search on my own after not hearing very many good things about CI's and I think I have a good start going so far. Sorry about not responding right away, I can't always get online regularly, so, its not that I am ignoring responses. Thank you! Lisalyanne

Sorry, I'm slow at responding too. You've got a PM.

Hi- We have a great search and reunion group on yahoo groups that helps with searches in the Northwest (Washington, Oregon, Idaho, etc). All you need to join is a free Yahoo email account. The name of the group is "Northwest Adoption Search & Reunion". Go to Yahoo Groups, and search for "northwest adoption search" and you should find us. : ) -Pennu :wings: