How selective are you about placements?

You know, in the beginning we had to fill out the checklist of what we would and wouldn't take. We quickly learned that didn't mean anything lol. When they need a home, they start calling.Having said that, we tell our resource worker to keep calling and that every case is different. There may be times where we can handle more and other times we are exhausted. The only hard "no" is full time care. We have little ones of our own and foster more that we wouldn't have the time to dedicate to full time. There other ones we have always said no to are RAD, known sibling abuse (because of our young ones) and when they are moving kids from one house to another because "that house just wasn't the right fit" then the place!Kent worker tells you they were removed from bios for sexual abuse, etc...Again, we always keep an open mind and listen to our guts. We said no to a sibling set last week (boy and girl) and today said yes to a different set, same ages, boy and girl.

I get to stay at home, so we put that we would take children too young to go to school. Typically that's 0-4. But we would bend on that one. We have a teeny-tiny house, so we knew that overly active or hyperactive children would not be a good fit. In the same way, a child in a wheelchair or crutches wouldn't be a good fit either. I am in my church building a lot (bible studies, volunteering, etc) so the children we take have to be able to come with us. I make sure there are no bio parent objections to protestant church attendance before I accept a placement. We only have one bedroom for kids, so any we accept must be able to share that bedroom. So they all need to be the same sex, or young enough that they can share anyway for the next couple years. We are on the list for either gender, but whatever gender we accept first sets the tone for who else can share that room. Along ith the tinyness of the house and the single bedroom, we take only two at a time. We'd be allowed to take three if one were an infant who slept in our room, but we haven't done that yet. We accept any race, and we are on a special list my agency keeps for people who *want* AA kids and have experience with their hair and skin. My husband is biracial, so we'd love to help some kids who share his heritage. And one absolute "no" for us is animal abuse. We run a mini-farm, so abusing our animals is NOT going to be accepted in any way, shape, or form. Our first two kids were toddlers. We turned down calls for other babies and toddlers during that time period. After the toddlers left we said yes to a toddler and baby combo, where the baby was premature and had high medical needs, but they ended up going elsewhere. I think I'd be a good fit for medical needs. Our current placement is 3 and 5 year old brothers, in half-day Head Start. They share the room, they're normally-active so the tinyness of the house isn't an issue, they can come to church with us. But they do have high behavioral and emotional needs. If I had known the true extent of those needs I probably would have turned them down. But as many people will tell you, you don't always get told the full truth about children when they call. I advise people to set their limits to what they truly want, and know you can bend those limits later if you choose, and if you're really OK with accepting something a tiny bit outside the limits you set you won't be too bothered by getting surprised by something other than what you expected. Hope that helps!

As a pp said we had a checklist but they call for any and everything. We are pretty strict on gender....girls only however is we do respite we take both genders as long as the boys are younger.

For our first placement we were caucasian or hispanic female. One or two children. No SA. One visit or less. Pre-adopt only 0-4. We got a call and everything lined up. The reality was they were 4, previous SA, mental health issues non-disclosed, not pre-adopt, two visits a week with one bio and then other vista with other family members. Next case we were 0-2 caucasian male. Close to TPR. No SA. We were placed with a 15 month old caucasian boy, no visits, no parental involvement, close to TPR. I think the second time we asked better questions and thus, got what we wanted. Now that we know the game, after nearly 18 months, we know what we'd ask for next time and the right questions to ask.

For our first placement we were caucasian or hispanic female. One or two children. No SA. One visit or less. Pre-adopt only 0-4. We got a call and everything lined up. The reality was they were 4, previous SA, mental health issues non-disclosed, not pre-adopt, two visits a week with one bio and then other vista with other family members. Next case we were 0-2 caucasian male. Close to TPR. No SA. We were placed with a 15 month old caucasian boy, no visits, no parental involvement, close to TPR. I think the second time we asked better questions and thus, got what we wanted. Now that we know the game, after nearly 18 months, we know what we'd ask for next time and the right questions to ask.

My original checklist was 2 girls, up to age 12. I lived with my mother and that was all we had room for. My first placement was 2 sisters who went to a placement that could take all 5 siblings. Second placement was a 6 yo boy, whose bio mom was pregnant. We got the baby at day 2 because there was DV while mom was pregnant. Third placement was a 6 yo boy who was supposed to RU but bio mom couldn't be a parent. His bio brother P was in an RTC and bio mom asked me to adopt him in June. In October TPR occurred. I turned down a placement of 3 sibs: 12 yo, 6 yo and a toddler. Last placement was 2 brothers, who were 7 and 5 when they came. They had behavioral and emotional problems due to multiple moves but I'm glad I took them.

Because I have older children, I routinely touch base with them regarding any particular characteristics they want to avoid.

I've been certified since October, 2014, and wanted school-age girls, but ended up with my first placement being boys aged 5 and 2! I was more selective after that, because the two-year-old was developmentally a one-year-old. I turned down a 12-YO girl with an IEP, because my son is 17 and with me half the time and didn't want any issues. Now I have a 7-YO and it's perfect! She's from another county so they're super flexible with everything because they really needed "the perfect fit" and that was me.