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My husband traveled back to get our son two weeks ago. He (DH) is still recovering fromt he ordeal as it was not pleasant. In addition to missing connecting flights due to delayed planes, he has an extremely difficult time with our son on the planes home. I had called the pediatrician before they left to see how much Benedryl he could give our son, and told him to try it before he got on the plane to see if he became drowsy or hyper. DH did not give him the benedryl (he put it in the checked luggage) and our son cried for every flight, the whole time, probably due to the typical orphanage congestion. My husband did give him Tylenol, but it didn't really make a difference. Our son also sucked his thumb the whole time, so sucking wasn't the issue.
I know that many parent are not fans of giving medication to children in these situations, but my husband really wished that he had at least tried it. Our son was a mess; tired, miserable, and kept the other passengers up. It has taken him well over a week to catch up on the sleep that he missed during those flights. This also affected my husband's bonding with Alex, as they were both traumatized by the experience.
On the other hand we cannot say enough about Lufthansa's flight crews. The attendants were wonderful with my husband and son. The walked the baby, and even fed and changed him so my husband could get a little sleep. Other passengers also voluntered to walk him as that was the only time that he wasn't hysterical. So while the 16 hours in the air was awful, there were a lot of caring people that were there to help.
That's nice to know that there are still people in the world who will help out in a difficult situation instead of complaining or making comments to your husband about getting your son to settle down.
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Don't let your husband kick himself about the Benadryl. Some kids actually become hyper after taking it, so his return flight could have been worse.
Nice to hear about Lufthansa caring for your son. I found United Airlines to be very good with returning adoptive chldren as well, at least that was my case for one of my return flights from China.