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As an adoptee in reunion, and still very much on the rollercoaster that is reunion, I have a question. If you looked or were found, knowing everything you know now and if you had the choice, would you do it all over again?
What would you have changed?
I am definately not in a stable place in my reunion right now but I can say that I would definately do it again. I would however have moved so much slower. I was excited and had a lot of "tunnelvision" on what I thought this reunion would be. And when it did not live up to my "expectations" it caused me a lot of emotional conflict. So I am interested in anyones opinions, thoughts etc!!!
YES!!!!!!!
Even though my b-mom wants nothing to do with me, I would do it all over again. I think the only thing I would really want to change would be the fact I was not assertive enough in contacting other family members. All of my b-mom's family are happy that I was found and if I had contacted them then we would of been in reunion quicker.
I was really scared of being rejected and when I was, it really did not hurt me as bad as I thought it would. I think it was because I went into this search with the knowledge that everything was not going to turn out perfect.
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I, too, would do it again in a heartbeat!!! AND.. I'd have done it MUCH sooner!
Interesting question cnb!
Even though things didn't turn out the way I had wanted them to, I would do it again. I have realized that the reality of my reunion, although not ideal, is better then the unknown questions that I had lived with for thirty years. Also, reunion has allowed me, for the first time, to really feel free to be me! I no longer feel that who I was suppose to be was stolen from me, but I KNOW that God had His hand on my life, and I am exactly where I am suppose to be, and who I am suppose to be! Talk about the BEST reason to search!!!
If I could change anything....it would have been that my bmom was an only child!!! LOL Some of you know why I say that!!! :prop:
Yes, I would
The one thing I would change is not to holdback. I would express myself more than I did initially. I was so afraid of giving them a reason to not want to be bothered with me, that I wasn't completely honest with the way I was feeling. I was waiting for the 'right time' to express myself. The 'right time' never came, so that would be the one thing I'd do differently.
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I would do it again as well. As panful and difficult as it has all been, it was worth it.
As far as what I would do different? I don't really know. Maybe not left myself so completely open to everyone.
I was found, and I would definately do it again. The only thing I would change is that I postponed responding once I discovered I was being looked for, because I was worried what I would find. It has only been a month, but so far it has been great!
I would do it again, but would of found some support. I lived alone at the time and met her (amother) and dealt with some traumatic things that she said all alone.
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