Found out I have a 13 year old daughter

Last month I found out that I have a 13 year old daughter. Her mother and I were together only once (at a hometown festival in the midwest) while I was starting my career and living in California. I decided to change my work with a move back to the midwest so I could see my family and watch my nieces and nephews grow up. I divorced two years ago and don't have any [other] children. My daughter's mother said that she did not want to ruin my career by telling me about the child and that she was worried that I would want full custody. When the child was 4, she and her husband had her adopted and did not tell me. She knew that I would never give her up and did not want the child flying all over the country in custody visits. I was easily able to be contacted because her cousin and my brother are best friends. She knew where I was living yet had the public announcement sent to the hometown newspaper. She goes to school with my nephews, in fact, one of my nephews had a crush on her in 3rd grade. The child has not been told because her mother is concerned what the community is going to think of her. Other than the fact that she has not been told, her mother has said that she wants to be accomodating and wants me to have a relationship with the child on the child's timetable. There have been 3 people in my community (of 1,200) who have figured it out and have told me. The child is blond hair, blue eyes like me. The mother and adoptive father have black hair and brown eyes. Their son has black hair and brown eyes. What would you do if I am not allowed to see her?