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If this isn't the correct place to post this, I apologize in advance, but I have been searching the Internet and don't know exactly where to get help on this matter.Here's a history and I'll try to make it as brief as possible.When my husband was 19, he got a girl pregnant. He married her, the baby (girl) was born. However, he and his wife only lived together for about 6 months and after a year they were divorced.In roughly 96 or 97, he got a threatening letter from his ex-wife telling him that he needed to sign off on the child so she could be adopted by his ex-wife's new husband. She threatened to take him to court and make his life very miserable. He agreed and signed the papers because he thought that the girl would be better off in a home with two parents and then she could have the new husband's last name.He has lived the last 10 years assuming that his daughter was adopted by this man.Thursday - August 16th, we received papers saying that his ex-wife was going after him for child support. This came out of the blue and blind-sided us. He is NOT a deadbeat dad, he hasn't been hiding or trying to avoid the law. He truly has been living his life assuming that his daughter had been adopted.From phone calls he's made, it appears that his daughter was never adopted by this man. His ex-wife is now on her 4th husband and was arrested for selling marijuana a few years ago. She hasn't had a job in the last 2 1/2 years.All this happened in North and South Carolina. The girl was born in North Carolina. When he signed the papers that he thought gave up his right to be a parent, his ex-wife and new husband were living in South Carolina. A state employee was able to tell him that his daughter has the other man's last name on her birth certificate, but my husband is still listed as the father.We are both 36 years old. We've been married 3 years - together 5. This is my first marriage and my husband's second marriage. We have no children. We both work full-time and live paycheck to paycheck. The only debt we have is a payment for a used vehicle because we obviously need two vehicles. What I'm saying is, there is no way we can afford child support. We are good decent people who live a clean life. We are boring, work hard and don't go out on weekends. We aren't trying to shirk any responsibility, but as I said, this completely blind-sided us. We have spent the last 3 days in complete shock. Does anyone have any advice for us? We have an appointment with a lawyer on Wednesday, but I'm scared to death of what that's going to cost us. We are just screwed.Can anyone explain how/why the other man's last name can be on the birth certificate if she wasn't adopted by him?Does a simple legal name change affect a birth certificate?Because she has the other man's last name, would he be responsible for her in any way?Because my husband signed these papers that would have given up his right to her, would that have any bearing in court in regards to child support? And where would he find the records of them - South Carolina?Does it require the consent of both parents for a legal name change of a child to take place? If so, would the papers he signed have been used for such an occurrence?Is there any way his ex-wife could be cheating the system and lying about his daughter not being adopted when she really was?We are baffled as to why she has decided to do this now. The girl will be turning 17 next month. The woman is married again. She obviously isn't hurting too much if she has chosen not to work for the past 2 1/2 years.This is all just very heartbreaking. I'm sorry for the long post but I really needed to vent. Any help anyone could give would be appreciated more than you will ever know. Thank you...
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Check the laws in NC that is the only advice I have. Sorry I do not have more. It would seem to me that if your hubby did in fact sign TPR paperwork that he would not be responsible for his daughter, If I were you I would go and get a copy of the paperwork( hopefully you kept it) and make sure that it was in fact a termination of parental rights. Then I would get the best lawyer in town and let him/her know what is going on. It sounds like DH ex wife is just trying to make his life miserable... don't let her!
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Here's my take on this. But of course believe what the lawyer says over this if they differ:
Sure. Mom could have just had the child's name changed.
It can. I believe it is possible to have a birth certificate issued in a new legal name if you request it. (Not sure of this, though.)
There is such a thing as an amended birth certificate - like when a deployed father comes home a year after his child's birth, signs the birth certificate, and the amended one takes the place of the original. Misspellings can be corrected that way too. I know they can be done to correct mistakes or oversights, but I don't know all the circumstances that can lead to an amended one.
Nope. Mom could have picked a random name out of the phone book to give the child, or made one up. Just because she was married to (or living with, or dating, or just aquainted with) someone who had that name doesn't mean anything.
Yes, if he can prove he signed away his rights so the child could be adopted, and was never informed that the child was not adopted, it probably will help him fight the child support claim in court. So would being able to show he received no child support request in the 10 years between signing and the demand you posted about.
But your husband should have kept his own record of what he signed. If mom never filed the papers he signed with anyone offical, then I don't know of anyone else who would have them. The lawyer may have some ideas. But really, mom could have gotten the papers back and burned them.
Yes, it usually requires both parents' consent to change a child's name.
Remember the mom could have lied to the courts. Claiming father was dead, or father couldn't be found, or that sort of thing may have gotten her around the requirement, depending on what type of proof the court demanded.
Is your husband certain that what he signed was a voluntary termination of parental rights? Could he have signed something else instead - say, a consent to a name change? A voluntary termination couldn't have been used AS a consent to a name change, though. (Note: the court that changed her name may be one place to look for evidence of what he signed. If a court accepted his termination signature as a reason his consent wasn't required for the name change, that court would have made a note of that document's existance.)
Sure. Usually when an adoption takes place, the original birth certificate is sealed and a new one listing the new parent(s) is issued in its place. However, that doesn't always happen correctly. The state employee you mention may have seen the old birth certificate instead of the birth certificate that is currently legal.
And, birth certificate aside, the mom may not be aware that an adoption removes the child's right to child support. There are people who think they can have both, and she may be one of them. She could be considering that voluntary termination the same way - she may think it got the father out of her life but think that she still gets the money - when it's really one or the other and not both.
Can anyone explain how/why the other man's last name can be on the birth certificate if she wasn't adopted by him?
Does a simple legal name change affect a birth certificate?
Because she has the other man's last name, would he be responsible for her in any way?
Because my husband signed these papers that would have given up his right to her, would that have any bearing in court in regards to child support? And where would he find the records of them - South Carolina?
Does it require the consent of both parents for a legal name change of a child to take place? If so, would the papers he signed have been used for such an occurrence?
Is there any way his ex-wife could be cheating the system and lying about his daughter not being adopted when she really was?
I read your posting, and I am not sure but would think before anything- a dna test would need to be done. Do you know if your husband's name was ever on the birth certificate to begin with? I am just wondering why now out of the blue this woman wants child support. Every state law differs so you need to look into the laws of your state and maybe her state too.