Advertisements
I'd love to hear some stories about the day you first met your foster or adoptive child. What was the meeting like? How did it go? What would you have done differently? What were you glad you did? Anything!
Like
Share
We met our STBAS when his previous FM dropped him off for a day visit. He had only oone placement before us and had been with them for 19 months. He knew for over 6 months they were adopting his older brother but not him. He showed up hands in pockets at our door with a blank face. We showed him around the house w/previous FM until he felt comfortable then asked if it was okay for her to leave. He looks just like DH when he was a kid. We spent about 8 hours with him. Took him to an amusement park, ate some food and hung out at the house so he could get a feel for it. Within the first 30 minutes he informed us he was ready to move in after he said goodbye to his school friend the next day. We were delayed 2 weeks by paperwork but he spent a lot of time at our house & was all moved in before then. The adoption is going to take months but I am not sure he even gets that he isn't adopted yet lol. He just seems to fit like he was always here and I know he has no concerns that he won't be here forever.
Advertisements
we thought we were being picked that day for a sibling set of three that we had already met. I was in the car shop with my three sons and two foster sons. it was an unexpected visit and the kids were tired and hungry and not happy about being stuck there when I got the call that we had been selected. they wanted to meet with us the next day. after I hung up, I realized that the case workers name was not the name of the case worker of the three kids. I called back and was floored when I found out that our case worker had slipped our name in for a newborn baby girl. she also asked that the baby's file be done before the sibling group. I was practically screaming with joy in the middle of the auto shop telling strangers that we had been picked for a baby girl. (she had mentioned the baby girl before she was born and asked us if she could put us in for her, but I really did not expect anything to come of it as we had three children of our own already. I assumed they would save the newborns for families without kids). the patrons at the auto shop smiled and looked pointedly at my five sons who were doing cartwheels and beating each up throughout the room, no doubt wondering what crazy people would hand this lady a baby. we met the next day and went over her baby book and family history and were told to go home and think about it over the weekend, and by the way, pick a name for her if we said yes. there was no need to think. we were in love. we ran home, bought a crib, set up a nursery and met our daughter on that Sunday at a foster home. It was love at first sight. We begged the worker to let us take her then rather than do visits and she told us to go away for lunch for two hours and then to come back and get her. She is 13 now:) that was in Tennessee.
we went back in to foster care at her urging a little over a year ago as she wanted a sister. We promised her that she was a princess and would really not like a little sister tagging around but that we would foster just so that she could see what it would be like. The little girl was 8 and had horrendous trauma in her life. they kept pushing us to say that we would adopt her before they placed her with us and we kept resisting. they finally stated it this way, " if you were to take her, and were to fall in love with her, would you consider adopting her?" we said that those were a lot of ifs and that there was always a possibility under those circumstances that we would say yes. they placed her with us and we fell in love instantly. six months after that, we were placed with a baby girl. we had said no babies. we are madly in love and wanted to adopt both the girls. seven months later, the 8 year old, now 9 year olds siblings were placed with us as well, from an abusive foster adopt home. lord knows that we will never be able to afford to retire and are now adopting three more children and hopefully the baby as well. funny how life works. we will have four boys and four girls if this all goes as planned. all my boys have already gone off or graduated from college and we are starting again.
We met at our home. The social worker called us while the hearing for detainment was ongoing and after they finished the paperwork, they sent a worker who lives near us to swing by with the baby.
I will never forget what it was like seeing my husband come up our walkway from the worker's car with that beautiful baby in his arms!
Advertisements
I got the first call at about noon on a Wednesday, the SW told me all about a wonderful-sounding little boy and then told me that she had another family to interview, and then they'd be having a staffing to make a decision in the next day or two. I was encouraged but tried not to get too excited, since we'd had a few calls like that that didn't go anywhere. Well, she called me back in less than two hours to offer us the placement! I hadn't even been able to get ahold of my husband yet, but I said YES even so. :eek: I hadn't seen a picture or even gotten a copy of the file yet, let alone met my future son, but I had no reservations, it just all felt so right. The SW brought him to our house two days later, on Friday afternoon, and there was this immediate connection: here was our little boy. He and his new older brother hit it off right away. By Sunday none of us could imagine not having him in our family. It's been a month and a half now, and while it hasn't always been easy we have no regrets. There's a long road ahead of us before we get to finalization, but there's no question that we're a family of 4 now.
Squeak (6 months old at the time) came to me around 2am one night straight from the police station (her bio mom had just been arrested). She was asleep when the SW dropped her off. She barely woke when she was handed to me. She opened her eyes briefly, took a quick look at me and the living room and then leaned her head in to me and went right back to sleep. She didn't wake up when I transferred her to the crib and when she woke in the morning she was all smiles -as was my 18 month old foster daughter who literally screamed and jumped up and down in excitement upon discovering her in the morning :) I didn't wash her blanket for over a week (even though it was dirty) so that she would be surrounded by familiar smells in her crib while she adjusted to a new home.
Minnow was 7 days old when I first met her in the hospital. No one told me she was a preemie so I was expecting a typical 8 lb baby but she was only 5 lbs! she was literally the smallest baby in the hospital nursery and the smallest baby I had ever seen in person. My first thought was "Oh my god! Is that one really mine? She's so cute and tiny!" I was in love the instant I saw her. All swaddled up in the crib she literally looked half the size of a typical newborn. Her head was extra tiny too -even some preemie hats were too big! That first night she had unexpectedly failed the "carseat test" so I didn't get to take her home until the next day but I sat and held her for about 30 mins and took lots of pictures and marveled at how tiny she was (and how long her tongue was! it was like a frog tongue :) ) and decided what nickname she'd go by (I knew I didn't want to call her by the name her bio mom had chosen but didn't want to change it completely). The one I'd been leaning towards didn't seem to fit her and I ended up choosing something else. Then I had to get home to put my toddler to bed. I took Squeak (my toddler) back to the hospital the next morning to visit her and then later that afternoon I got to go pick her up and take her home. It was such a unique experience because I'd never picked up any of my other foster kids (they were all dropped off out my house which is standard procedure here) and it was really nice to be able to talk to the nurse who had been caring for her at the hospital and keep some hospital mementos like the tag from her bed with her info. I wish I had thought to take a picture with the nurse who had been caring for her the first week of her life and written her name down. I am so bad with names and instantly forgot what her name was after leaving the hospital. It would be nice to be able to look her up some day and let her know how Minnow is doing.
My 8 yr old daughter I met at her foster home. She ran into my arms yelling mommy!! It was amazing. Her foster mom painted her face while I was there, and I let her lead the conversation.
My sons were 1 and 2. I met them at their foster home. At first I was very very nervous, but they were cute and walked around played with the toys I brought them.
The kids are now 3, 5, and 13.
Advertisements
When we met STBAD Miss Daisy- I had already spent a few days praying about her because b-mom dodged CPS and "ran" for a few days with her.
When the CW called me to finally tell me that she was on her way with her- I bolted out of work and called my husband who would follow shortly.
I barely beat them to my house. I had no idea what to expect and neither did CW because it had been a couple of months since she had seen her (ongoing case/failed RU). She was SO pale it shocked me! And scared of course. She clung to the CW, but soon after she started to crawl around and explore a little. She was fascinated by our pets! She smiled at us even though she was terrified. I had a really hard time bonding for a couple of weeks. I honestly think what overwhelmed me the most was hearing the CW tell us that she thought she was going to stay forever. There was still a lot that needed to happen legally- and we just had TPR so aren't there yet- but I think deep down I knew she was my daughter and I was overwhelmed by emotions- especially by guilt because my heart was still with our first FD who had left a few weeks before to go to family.
A few really cool "God" things (to me) about the situation with Daisy? I met someone who was going to adopt her before she came into care, but the private adoption failed (on here!) so very early in the case I knew more than I would have. That same person had been talking to me weeks before and offering me advice on private agencies in our area!!! Thanks to that relationship- Daisy will have newborn pictures!
Daisy was born on the day we attended our first orientation/information session- really the day we decided to become foster/adoptive parents. We would not meet her for almost a year and a half later.
It was also the same day (a year later) that our first FD left us to go to family!
Our social worker had some difficulty tracking down b-dad- turned out she frequented his place of business and knew him! Which allowed her to get him to establish paternity. (he relinquished)
My STBAD was named for a character in a book- and so was I!
So many things that still give me chills. I think the moment I fell for her though- We had only had her a couple of weeks and I went to get her out of the carseat and she smiled a shy smile at me and just said "Mom". She didn't come to us asking for mom or momma or calling us anything- so yes, my heart was melted and has pretty much been liquid ever since!!!
Also- after our first FD left- I KNEW I was supposed to have a daughter. I never had a gender preference before- but I just knew it somehow.
My oldest son was almost 4yrs old. We meet him at the DHS office. His adoption specialist opened to door to call us back and I seen the cutest little boy peeking around from behind her back. I nearly fainted, I knew that moment I just seen my son. We went back into her office and talked for a bit.She left to get some paperwork, "T" was playing with a little farm set. I got down in the floor and played with him. We then moved into the visit room. The adoption specialist got my daughter (10yrs) and "T" a snack, they played Hi Ho Cherry- O's, and looked though some books. "T" played with a giant stuffed cow then got in my lap to snuggle for bit. The adoption specialist came in with some paperwork for us to sign. She told a nickname ("T" Baby)that everyone there called "T" and claimed he loved it when they called him it. I watched him cringe when she said the name. He keep looking through the window and saying different men was his daddy. I guess the last time he was there he seen his dad. The adoption specialist had us go into the hall to talk and let DD and "T" play together. She told us he would stay a couple weekends them move in . I started to panic, I had just meet this kid for a hour and they wanted us to comment to him forever. After a minute to calm down I agreed. He stayed the following weekend. He cried nearly the entire 3 hr trip back to his foster family. Our daughter came home sat on his bed and cried her eyes out. She wanted her brother back. I still had some concerns. That night I called his foster home to see how he was doing, his foster dad was an A**hole. I told him I was worried cause "T" was so upset on the way back. He said something like " he is just a cry baby, he does that all the time". At that moment my mommy instinct kicked in "T" was coming home for good the next week. Monday morning I was on the phone to the adoption specialist and got the move in date moved up a week.
Our youngest son as a complete surprise. It had been 2-3 months since we started the process again and I was getting impatient. I was online registering with a national adoption website when the phone rang. It was our adoption specialist asking me about the two little girls I had inquired about with a different worker. I told her it didn't look like they would be a good match for us. She asked me how I would feel about a boy, I told her that would be great. She then said " How would you like to come pick your new baby boy up this afternoon." I was screaming like I won the lottery. I got it together enough to ask a few question. Turns out he was the first relinquished child in our area. No drugs or alcohol involved. She told me he was biracial and healthy. We needed to have a name for him when we got there. She then told me I needed to be at the hospital at 6pm. It was already 4:25pm and the hospital was over an hour away. We stopped by Walmart got a car-seat, bottle, andpack of onesis.We waited what seemed like forever but it really was just a few minutes. We expected a little brown baby with dark curly hair. The adoption specialist walked in and handed me this cute little pink baby with blonde hair.
We met our daughter at the Children's Division office. I picked her up after work. I had just received the call a couple hours earlier asking if we could take an infant. She was 6 weeks old at the time. I met the worker in street in front of the building. All our daughter had was a small bottle, half can of formula, a couple diapers, a rattle, and a baby blanket that came from her home. CD changed her into a clean outfit which they said we could keep.
It was love at first sight for both DH and I. (Funny thing, DH was hesitant about taking a baby, but he was smitten the second he held her.) She was supposed to be temporary, but ended up staying forever. :)
One thing I am glad I did was take her photo that day. but I wish I had some better photos. I just snapped a quick pick with my phone with her still in her car seat.
I also have kept that same outfit, rattle, and blanket she came with that are from her biological home. One ironic thing is she still loves to cover up with that blanket for some reason even though it's about too little for her to use anymore. I don't know if there is some subconscious connection? (Is that even possible?)
Advertisements
I love this thread. So warm fuzzy.
We met Bug and Monkey immediately following disclosure. Bug, age 6, came marching in, curly pigtails bouncing, and plopped herself down in a seat at the head of the long table. She looked around at all those grownup faces, smiled knowingly, and said "hi". She was freaking adorable and still is. We had brought a big bag of tricks, and I spent most of the hour working in a doodle book with her and chatting about school and such.
Monkey, 1.5, came in shortly after she did, toddling through the door that fmom had opened for him. DH spent most of his time with him, stacking squishy blocks and rolling a car back and forth across the table. In hindsight, considering how our story has gone, I wish deeply that I had spent more time. Sand through the hourglass...
We also met Cricket (5) immediately following disclosure. He came in, sat at the table, stared into his lap and said, "I had a yellow day." We had to ask him to repeat himself. We know now that must have been his behavior report. Always anxious of being a "bad boy", and more often than not convinced that he is, he must have thought we were there to talk about his school behavior or something. Breaks my heart in retrospect. Once he warmed up, we played with animals and figures and read. When we read "Froggy Gets Dressed", he did all the sound effects with me. Only regret isn't really mine to own: his social worker told him to give us a hug goodbye. In my book, that's a big encroachment on rights and space for a kid you just met, but in the moment we did it anyway. We joke about it now.
The first time we saw Monkey again, less than a month ago, we visited at his home. They were supposed to be home already, but had to go out, so we pulled up across the street just as they backed into the drive. I saw the silhouette with those big, beautiful ears I would know anywhere staring from the center seat. He hopped out of the car, and hung back near the garage. When prompted, he said a quick, "hi" the headed to the door. We followed him in and after a quick chat with fmom, he climbed up on the couch next to me to look at some pictures we had brought of our family, including one of that first meeting with him and Bug. Having him right there, so close after all this time, my heart about leapt out my chest and it was all I could do not to scoop him up. We had a long visit that night and then the following morning, but that little moment on the couch is the one I cherish. We can't wait to bring him home.
1st placement was T a 15 month old boy blonde butterball. Tiny Tornado's bio sibling. He was quiet and lost in his huge sibling group. He was the baby but you could tell he was not the center of attention. He didn't walk well (barely walking) and wasn't very close to the other boys that he was raised with for 15 months.
I remember thinking as someone else did, since we knew it would be long term possibly adoption. We worried if we'd like him, if our personalities would click etc. Even after he moved in we were still worried that it wouldn't' be a good "fit". Didn't take long for those thoughts to disappear. He was our pride and joy. Although in the end he wasn't meant to be "ours", we adopted his sister about a year later.
Met DD#1 the day her and her 4 brothers came in to care. They're friends of the family's grand children so we were already close to the family. Just remembered feeling sorry for DD and the fact that our friends (her gparents) would have to raise 8 kids under 8. It wasn't long after we took in FS that DD #1 came to live with us. She was a doll, I wouldn't change one second with her.
Met DD #2 the day her mom gave birth to her (actually minutes after she was born). I had none of these thoughts that I had with FS or DD #1. After meeting FS/DD#1 and falling completely and totally in love, I knew I'd love her before she was born and I was right. The minute the nurse placed her in my arms she looked up at me and smiled, I was done.
It's truly love at first sight.