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It looks like this match is headed south with only 3.5 weeks left before delivery. We have been given to understand that the Emom is being pressured heavily by her pregnant sister and mother to keep the baby. This Emom has always sounded very committed, so interested, and the one time we spoke - very sweet. She's an adult who lives at home right now. The EFather is out of the picture. Her parents seemed very reasonable at first but I guess watching one daughter glowing about her baby makes it difficult to watch another daughter place her child. Our agency is very concerned about the lack of consistent communication. At this point, they have advised us to let them begin showing our profile again. If they receive a call in the next 4 weeks, we can hopefully pick up where we left off. Meanwhile however they are acting on a full stop for financial support. The Emom has been requested to make contact ASAP to restart support. At this point no one knows if she is receiving her mail or her phone messages. We know that her mother sold her car and her cell phone is shut off. So we are waiting for a call to the 1-800 line. This is the fourth match and possibly the fourth failure. This is such an impossible process. For all of us. I've snuggled down in the nursery for the last hour and am now moving forward with my various chores and whatnot. It would be so easy to give up. To let it beat me down. But I want to be a mother and I want to support my husband emotionally too. So I am bucking up. I also want to believe that this young woman will find the courage to follow her heart. There's still time. But is it realistic to hope? Trixie
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Never give up, and keep the hope! For years we longed to adopt, unfortunately we did not have enough money to go through any agency. We tried to save up as much as possible, but it was so hard. I never gave up the hope...as hard as it was. Everyone who knew us knew how much we longed to have a child. I cannot tell you the endless tears and night of prayer- I always felt in my heart God knows how much this means so He will help us!! Some hopeful cases came our way, but unfortunately nothing ever happened. Until one day my mom called me giving me the phone number of a birth mom interested in us. Now, of course, we were so unsure we figured here is another one and our hearts will most likely be broken-but after actually calling the birth mom and talking with her , she really was wonderful. I was in shock of course, she told me through her friends she heard of us and how much we wanted to adopt. I told her "you have no idea, how much a child would mean to us!!!" Well, we now have a beautiful adopted healthy 2 year old boy!!! We have had him from birth and he is our little miracle!!! Never in a million years would we think we could have been so blessed. We named our son Jude after the Saint we prayed to St. Jude is the Saint for hopeless cases. It does get so hard over time, sometimes I would think maybe this will never happen for us, but I can tell you that it can and it did!!! Pray for strength...We would love to adopt again, and are so hopeful that God will allow another birth mom to cross our path...Don't give up, your angel is out there..and hopefully soon you will be matched! You can pm me, if you need someone. I know the heartache and pain of wanting nothing more then to love a child...God Bless
Thank you everyone. It's so hard sometimes to find people to express your emotions too. My husband was on travel and I know he was stressed about other things like plane delays and airport hassles -LOL! - so it wasn't the right time to emote to him! Now we are in the hurricane of pregnancies and adoption all around us....My BF from college is expecting a 3rd child only 9 months after delivering her 2nd. They are a bit out of sorts about this pregnancy and are giving off different emotions all the time (worried, happy - worried, happy) so it complicates my own emotional place. Meanwhile our friends adopting from overseas have all finalized - the last just got home this week. With my Brother and close cousin both expecting...this winter...and with moi responsible for the shower... It just seems that everyone's family planning is underway or completed. Yet here we sit. I am starting to find it interesting to hear the pause in the voice of previously-waiting families when I express some difficult emotion regarding the wait. Yesterday a friend who had a brutally difficult wait (but is now a mom) was just speechless. I think it comes from that source of "knowing how you feel" as well as "knowing that I can't make it better by saying anything." So I don't know what's funnier/sadder...people who recognize that they can't really comfort you in a meaningful way or people who try to comfort you. LOL! Can't you tell that I am being hyper-aware this last week? Husband and I did make to a friend's home yesterday to see her baby and that was a Godsent. This child has a way of making us feel so special and loved. It put us in a great mood for the day. Tomorrow we will see another special adopted baby and she is a total charmer. Seeing the babies is great for our spirits. I think we'll stay pretty busy next week and then we'll be down to only 2 weeks before birth. When does the hospital normally require someone to register? Does anyone know in general? I am trying to gauge when these decision might be made and when we might hear from her. Thanks!Trixie
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been there and it hurts. It really hurt when so many people kept asking when the baby was coming. It's weird how some people's kindness hurts almost worse than other people not saying anything. So I'll just say I'm sorry that this is happening to you and that you are having a rough road right now.