A post from the Parent Support Forum

Okay well duh!!!!! I meant Foster Parent Support....I apoligize for the confusion.

I'm not sure how I feel about this...very mixed. We're not talking about early 80's here...the gfather is almost 90. What happens if one of them dies while caring for the child?

I know I have very mixed emotions concerning this issue. But would be something that I would consider if I felt that I was capable to take care of a small child.

As I stated on the other thread, I'm very mixed on it. I do think the grandparents need to be a big part of the boys life. I'm just not sure how well they can handle him. I mean, I know court and hearings are scarey and just about any kid would act out, but if they weren't able to deal with it there, then how can they handle it if he runs toward the road and won't stop? What about when he falls off of something high and they can't pick him up?I guess I'm just turn because I know they love him dearly. I wish his dad would get his act together for this child's sake and I pray no matter what, that he gets to at the least continue seeing his grandparents.

If someone saw how our 19 mo. old acted on a tired, emotional day, they might think I'm too old to parent her (50's). Family is extremely important and these two grandparents have been a very big part of his life. I think, if possible, he should stay with them but they should get support from social services, maybe a previous foster parent who could step in to give them a break when needed. Almost 90 is very old, obviously, but if they have the heart and the love for their own grandchild, I think it would be awful for the child to be removed from them. It's an interesting scenario.

I agree with you...I have mixed feelings on this. I don't think they should be seperated but I guess I would fear for the child if one morning he woke and found that one of them had passed during the night or had a stroke. I know that sounds morbid but as a nurse I guess I think along those lines. God bless them all...

I think his grandparents should be able to raise him with a mentor for the child, something like a big brother who would take him out to things the gp arent able to do, Yea they are old and may or may not pass away but young parents sometimes have hearattacks or strokes and such and pass away also. i think since they have always been active in his life he should stay with them jmho

I agree with your points...I'm glad I'm not the judge having to decide this case! I'd like to see what the outcome of this case is. I don't know if there is a perfect answer.

Being a 50yr old momma to a baby under one year, I can attest to some people thinking my age is too old. However, I don't think these grandparents should be raising this child. I DO believe they have every right to be a very involved couple with the child, meaning lots of visits (even extended ones) and input. But, while I know/have known several people in their age bracket who can do and act very young, I also think being almost 90 (for both of them) is really pushing the age for a child who's not only five yrs old, but also developmentally delayed. (Though, truly, I have to wonder HOW much delay there really is?) There's a lot of talk about people being able to raise kids at this age or that...and I wouldn't doubt their sincerity or efforts to try. However, I can't be convinced that people of their age are able to be as active as the general public that's at least under 50? I know this might sound bad.......but like I said, I do believe they need to be very involved with his life----but it seems there really IS no safety net in place should they die. Let's face it, few people live to be 100yrs old....and extremely active at 100 either, KWIM? Sincerely, Linny

Linny I agree with you on the age. But again if they have the stamina to cope with a 5 year old can we stop them?

This is very difficult to know what to do. On one hand if they are healthy, have been able to take care of him well, why shouldn't they be allowed to continue to care for him. On the other hand, they are quite a bit older and if they were to pass while this child was still young it might do more damage to him after what he has been thru. I think I am inclined to say let them take care of him with social services keeping very close tabs on the whole situation. It stated that he had already been in several foster homes. That might be more traumatising than anything else. So hard to know. Whatever happens I certainly hope that these grandparents remain a huge part of this childs life.