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Okay. I'm having some "issues" with a family member (non-grandparent) concerning the date of Nick's birthday party. I need some advice from those outside of the immediate family.We've chosen the weekend before Nick's birthday (november 17th) for various reasons. 1) Josh works on Nick's birthday and he's got very few days left to mess with this year.2) I'm due on December 2nd with a twice-now history of delivering at 38.5 weeks, which is the week AFTER Nick's birthday. I kind of wanted to get some of the stress out of the way so as not to go into labor at the party.3) The church hall is open.This certain family member wants us to change all of our plans because he/she cannot attend because of work. I want to say, "Tough cookies." But my MIL is pushing for us to change the party to accomodate this family member. I want to scream, "HI. NOT YOUR PARTY."But that's not very nice.What to do?
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I agree with everyone else. Plan his party for a time that works for you and your husband and your child. Everyone else can come or not. It's your immediate family and it is more important for dh to be able to be there than some extended family member. If he has few days left, I am sure he is wanting to save them for when Parker arrives. Just do as someone else suggested. Send out the invites and that is that. :grouphug:
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Stick to your guns, nicely. I've had to tell my own mom this past summer that I love my sis and bro-in-law and their kids bunches, but I am my husband's wife and my kids' mom before anything else, and our needs as a nuclear family have to come first in our own home and regarding our own lives. I thought I was actually kind of bee-otchy about it, but she just said "Of course, you're right." In fact, the times I've been most nervous about sticking to my guns but just did it anyway are the times I've gotten the most respect. My second piece of advice...don't get into justifying your decision to your MIL because that opens up possible debate on every point you bring up. Just say when it is and you hope Hope HOPE that with this much notice they can make it, and if they can't you sure will miss them! period. end of story.
Does MIL have a solution for this? Girl, I would have already had someone's head on a platter if people were asking things of me with pregnancy hormones going on. There have been a few times I couldn't make it to one of my niece's parties and I would take them out and celebrate at their favorite restaurant. They now want that in addition to a birthday and want something nicer than McDonald's.
Definitely tough cookies. For Yuna's party, we are free on her actual birthday, so that's when it is. I don't have anything really pressing gong on at school or work that day (actually have that day off school for some reason) and Vince is also off that day. We just picked a day, checked with the couple people we really wanted to make SURE could come, and went ahead. Sounds like, in this case, what you need to do, too.
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These are the times I hate that I'm a "people-pleaser." Ya know? To be honest? I've been saying the weekend BEFORE his birthday for almost a month now. Three month notice should suffice, right? Apparently this relative has a jerkface boss that won't let them reschedule their Saturdays. And while I empathize, it's really not my problem. Or, logically, I know it's not my problem. But oh, the guilt. Both self-imposed and inadvertently from MIL. These are the issues that make me wish we lived closer to MY family instead of Josh's. Then again, I have enough issue with my family as well. Perhaps we should consider moving to Zimbabwe. Eesh.Or the island of Sodor. Since we're having a Thomas themed party. Yes, that's it. I'll put "Location: The Island of Sodor" on the invites and then maybe relative, without kids and thus clueless, will think it's too far away for her to attend. *giggles*
Oh, the Island of Sodor! I bet Sir Topham Hat will be able to make it, even if your other relative can't! Send them pics and if they're really wanting to spend time with Nick on his birthday, they can babysit him for a little while when Parker is born!
Oh Jenna, don't you just hate that stress feeling in your belly?? Do what's best for you.
The last thing you need is extra stress right now. I know firsthand how families can impose especially when you least need it. Stick to your guns. I think it is reason enough to have it early since you usually deliver early. The fact that you have had two previous children makes you more likely to deliver a little early. Your immediate family is the most important. Do what is best for you. A Thomas theme sounds cute. We are having a Curious George theme for Jessica's birthday (few weeks after Nick's). Good luck!
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*headdesk*Oh, Husband. So, Josh decided, at the last minute, that he wanted it to be ON Nick's birthday and switched his days at work. Without informing me until a week later. So then I call the church to get the hall on Nick's birthday. And it's booked. *headdesk* SO, now we've picked a totally NEW date. The day after. A Sunday. Whoever can't make it, CAN'T MAKE IT. The invitations are being printed right now. (Or, they will be as soon as I get a chance to finish the order. LOL.)Ah, life.