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My Husband and I have 2 daughters, 4 and 2. We are ready for a third, but torn because I want to adopt internationally instead of having another biological child. He is open to adoption, but feels he's only ready for it a long time from now. Does anyone know the church's stand point on adopting when you're able to have biological children? Do they have an opinion on this?
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I don't think they have care one way or the other. We recieved a lot of support from our bishop and ward during our adoption. The church stresses helping others, what better way to help others then to bring a child into your home and raise them with the gospel. If you pray about it and that is the way the lord leds you then do it. Adopting Olivia has been a wonderful experience for us, I know that she was ment to be our daughter, and that is what god wanted for her and us. The church will support you no matter which way you go.
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Aw, touchof heaven - anyone's welcome to join the conversations. Great post, by the way - I completely agree.
And "AdoptionPossible" - if the Church had a position against it, then their own Family Services would at least ASK if you could have bio children, and they don't. I mean, they ask your reasons for wanting to adopt, (and I heard they turned down one couple who could have bio, but it was because she said she could have bio kids, but didn't want to ruin her figure or take time off work, so they wanted to adopt. I think the agency figured there were some issues that couple needed to work out...LOL!!) But I know of people who have adopted through the church, who did also or could also have bio children, so I think you can safely assume the Church is fine with it, and why not? It is totally in line with everything we know about eternal families and life and love and everything "Touchofheaven" wrote, too.
I know that currently LDSFS will only let you adopt domestic newborns if you are no longer capable of having your own. However, I think that taking a child out of a too-full orphanage is a completely different story. If you feel like it is good for your family to do that, and you have prayed about it, then do it.
What is your motivation for adopting internationally? All the adoption books I have read warn that if a person thinks they are doing a good deed by rescuing a child from foster care/orphanage, then they don't have the right spirit about adoption. It should only be about wanting to parent, and finding the family that fits the child's needs.
I believe that the Spirit will lead you to your children where ever they are, but, IMO, it's not a good sign if DH isn't on board. I would say fast and pray and keep us posted!
Actually, LDSFS WILL let you adopt domestic newborns, even if you are capable of having bio children. Some caseworkers have differing opinions, and we got that from one caseworker, - she discouraged it. But we have adopted two, and are waiting with LDSFS to adopt a third, and have not had to give any info as to whether we could or couldnt have bio kids. We CAN, it would just be tough. But they havenҒt asked. Three different LDSFS agencies, in three different states, and no one has asked. It is not in any paperwork we have signed or seen. Years ago you had to prove infertility (letter from doctor, or whatever) but they no longer ask. And I have some friends who have done both. LDSFS is fine with it. It's the birthmothers who have to be okay with it to place in that particular family.
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Definitely interesting. I was told they used to require it (for infant adoptions) but not anymore. And it should be the same across the board, but obviously it isn't. Goes to show that when I think I know something for sure... It doesn't mean it's the same story for someone else. I know that each agency does things differently, vastly differently - but I would have thought that the policies would be the same. Guess not.
I wonder if it is local agency policy differences, or caseworkers acting on their own. Either way, it probably should be addressed. (But I'll wait until I've got my child before I annoy the local caseworker!) :)
As a birthmom and from my experience Heavenly Father will provide a way for his children to be in the right home no matter what. We are only vessels down here that are used to help His work go forward. Adoption is amazing and there is no other way to describe it. It is something that has to be experienced to understand.
We are LDS and have adopted 5 children internationally as well as given birth to 1 daughter. We have had nothing but support from the church. It does not matter if you can give birth or not, adoption is a great thing. In fact on the yahoo group for LDS families adopting internationally a survey was taken of the adoptive families and it found that 50% of the couple were NOT infertile.
So you are not alone in your desire. Heavenly Father wants ALL children to have good homes, the ones here and the ones in heaven.
Kelly
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We have 2 biological daughters 12 & 10 and adopted our son from Kazakhstan 3, last year. We don't know if we could have had more bio kids, we never tried, but we felt drawn to international adoption. And have felt so for some time, we were just waiting for Heavenly Father to let us know it was time. It seemed to me to take forever. When it was time the doors just seemed to open for us, and it was definatly worth the wait. We have had lots of support, and don't regret a thing. Having a life come into your family is wonderful regardless if it's through your pregnancy or someone elses.
I agree the terms for adpotion should not be and for the most part is not based on if you can have biological children. It is can you afford to take care of them, do you have a homestudy, pass criminal background check and so forth...or else there would be even more children waiting for a forever family if it were based on being unable to have children only.
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I believe the rule is that those who are able to have biological children can only adopt speacial needs children through LDS Family Services. The term "special needs" includes children with dissabilities as well as older children. The reasoning, I suppose, is that LDSFS wants to give parents who don't have a biological opportunity to obtain children preference over those that can. Remember this is "policy" and not "docterine." The church wants all of God's children to be sealed in his kingdom and I think that they would encourage you (if you want to adopt an infant) to use any resource you would like to obtain that goal.
