Mom & Dad - discpline

I do not disagree in front of my child about discipline.

I don't associate much with my son's dad. However, we have discussed discipline and how it should be done. We couldn't be further apart. He is "fun time daddy" and basically lets our son get away with anything, whereas I believe setting down the rules and enforcing them are more important. Seeing as we only see each other during visits, most of our disagreements about discipline happen in front of our son, but I try to keep it to a minimum.

DH and I are very much on the same page when it comes to expectations of behavior and discipline. If we disagree about anything, it's in private. Otherwise, it gives the children ammunition to try to "divide and conquer" - and, believe me, they try anyway!

Please feel free to respond even if you vote differently than the majority! I want this to be a safe place to discuss discpline issues w/o any bashing.

For the most part dh and I are on the same page regarding this issue. However, there are times when we disagree and we have openly discussed it in front of the kids. Not argue so much as a discussion. In part I want the kids to know they cannot triangulate and play us against each other and the other part is just I know if we don't discuss it then, we'll forget later! lol! If it's something that either of us feels really strongly about, and the discussion would be more of an arguement, we do discuss in private. In general it might go something like "I just want to add to your consequence xxx because I think...." or "I don't know if you remember, but last time he did this, we said..."

My husband and I are on the same page, however, he rarely follows through, which is tough. He seems to have tunnel vision and usually leaves the discipline up to me (usually the news paper or tv is at the end of the tunnel when the kids are acting up haha). I usually keep matters private, however there have been a few times when I have said "A little assistance here, please". Maybe not the best idea, but I do so none the less. Fortunately he is a great husband and father in all other aspects, and my kids are pretty well behaved otherwise it may be more of an issue than it is. I just wish he would take charge with the discipline once in a while without leaving it up to me...

Obviously, Nick is still young, but we've taken to discussing matters of discipline where we might have disagreed after he's not in the room. My parents did not do this and it was very hard for me to deal with at times. (I also used it to my advantage and ended up treating my parents poorly in the process. Oops.)