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...and when I do the monsters are there trying to take my child away. It seems when I do my best, when I "hold it together" and work and act normal, it comes out at night. Actually, I don't know what "normal" is anymore. I have lived for so long with the fear and anger - lived with the fear and anger - that it has become "normal" for me. I long for and pray for a day that I can have normal worries - scheduling a dentist appointment, working regular hours because I am not paying lawyer fees, having the strength and energy to take my son to the park or the playground - all of those things my friends seem to worry about - without the anxiety of "what today?" What will happen at our next mediation? What motion will be filed against us next? Will we EVER be allowed to present testimony? Will the judge EVER hear the voice of my son? I try not to ask, "Why me?" "Why my son?" But I do. I try not to rail out at the injustices done to us. But I do. I pray for answers. There are none. CS
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GOD will show you all your answers.HE will let you know WHY ME. I look forward to the day I can take a vacation day without worrying about the OT that will be lost. I want to take it without worrying about saving it in case I need to go to court. Remember at the beginning I said 07 will be a good yr. For all of us that were here at the beginning of the yr we are the only two left and I still believe that it will be an interesting Nov & Dec. It may not be over but at least we will know where it is all heading. ONE DAY CHRISTIE ONE DAY GOD BLESS
