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My husband and I have been the foster parents to a sibling group for about 19 months. The youngest child was 4 mos old when we got her and her brother was 16mos. old. The children are very bonded to us as well according to a bonding assessor. We have filed a petition to adopt the siblings, but now their is a godmother who surfaced after about 9mos. of the children being with us.
So, currently we are in the process of a contested adoption in probate court. Has anyone else been through a situation similar to us? Does anyone have any words of wisdom for us? I pray that the best interest of the kids is considered !! I feel that as attached as the children are to us that if the children are taken from us that it will be soooo determental to the emotional health.
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Were these children considered legally adoptable by your state agency? I ask this, because most state systems will search high and low into the point of exhaustion before allowing the foster parents to file a petition for adoption.
As far as the children being very bonded...I don't doubt this at all. I"m sure they see you as mom and dad....how could they not? You've been just that---mom and dad!
But, we went through something a bit similar many years ago. While not being legally terminated, our foster agency at the time, told us the children WOULD be adoptable when they were placed in our home. (It was well known to them we only wanted children who would be/were adoptable.)
When the 'almost one year' mark came about, the birthfather (who had little/no chance of getting the children back) had a hissy fit because he felt the kids were too bonded with us!!!!! We were told by the agency that should we go into TPR in the future, he could claim the children were placed in a 'pre-adoptive home', since it was known we wanted to adopt children. With this, we were told, the judge would throw out any possibility of them being adopted by us at any time---and his stand on the 'pre-adoptive placement' would override the childrens' best interest. It was years before they were adopted by other people; and the day they left our home was one of the most horrible days in our family's history...as well as theirs, I know.
Have you considered retaining your own attorney in this? This might carry more weight in court along with the best interests of the children aspect. I wish you good luck in this. I know first-hand how ridiculous this process can be. Let's just hope the best interests of these children is actually served, rather than just lip-service!
Sincerely,
Linny
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I sit here and I am saddened.... I think those are your children and they belong with you.... however, i am on the other side of the fence. We were contacted about a little boy that is 4. He has been in foster care since he was an infant (with the same foster parents) and they wish to adopt him, the state doesn't want it to happen. I don't know the details, but I also read a different post somewhere else on here with a similar story. The worker states they won't consider the foster parents adopting even if we decide not to accept him, they will only find another family. The whole ordeal is in court now and we are waiting for the outcome. I feel like such a hypocrite (sp), waiting for a child that obviously belongs to someone else's heart. What a tragedy. I hope they remain where they are... where God intended them to be. Good Luck
HopingStill...sounds like a double standard in a way? the foster parents have been good enough for the last 4yrs as foster parents but not as adoptive parents? but, like always, I'm sure there is more to the story. Good luck to you, sounds like you and that little boy are caught in the middle.....