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I would like to express some of the emotions that I went through over the past 4 yrs just to get them out there so as maybe I can start to heal.I feel that if I harbor them then we as a family will never beable to move forward and I will not beable to help my daughter or my wife to heal.Sorry this could be long. We went from a beginning to a middle and then thrown back to a beginning and in one GOD given day to a possible end.It nearly killed us.
ANGER- I hated this man to the point of wishing his life would end.I realize now that this hatred did not come because of him personally but rather because I had to watch my family be SLOWLY destroyed and it was completely out of my control to stop it.
I hated the court system and the attorneys for allowing it to happen and for making us feel that we were horrible people with no regards to what we were going through.
I hate the system that is in place for adoption.At the beginning when I did not know what I know now I thought about asking my wife if she would like to adopt another child when this was over.That has changed now.I would love to give a child a good chance at a good life but I feel very strongly that it is wrong for me to have to BUY the child for this to happen.
I do not feel it is a matter of being strong,more so I feel it is standing up for what is right VS what is wrong.
FEAR- I am not sure I can explain the type of fear we lived with for so long.Imagine standing and watching a nuecular bomb going off about a mile away and seeing the effects rushing at you knowing you had minutes to live.This is nothing compared to what we lived with for 4 yrs.
Helplessness-At times I have never felt so alone.Sometimes your brain can only take so much before it just shuts down and refuses to think anymore.
LOVE- My love for my daughter never waivered but it did for my wife until our darkest weekend in this whole ordeal.When we had to decide to let her go or possibly let everything else go.In the end we held hands and spoke " We will fight as a team and we will lose as a team or we will win as a team". I will never forget that weekend.We have never been closer to each other nor have we ever been closer to GOD.
And now RELIEF.
Thanks for listening
May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
GOD BLESS
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We thought we may lose our son for about a year. The "not knowing" is the worst thing I have ever endured.
I simply cannot imagine going thru this for 4 years.
God has a plan for everything. She was meant to be your daughter.
Have a very blessed Thanksgiving.
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I know the fear and unknown our family endured for over a year, I can not imagine going through that for 4 years. I am SO happy there is now some relief for your family. I am just so sorry it took so long. I hope your family has the best Thanksgiving EVER. :)
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we Just finished year one I pray to God everyday we dont go on like this for years. I am understanding how the hate is. My BIL is a child molester and to think he even has a chance at getting MY SON just kills me. I just found this sight and I went all the way back to read your story Please know you have given me hope. We had a really good day yesterday BIL had to do a Polygraph about the sexual abuse and he failed they tested him for 5 hours and he never told the truth. I was informed by the detective that charges are on their way so please pray for us as I will pray for your recovery and enjoy the peace in your heart this thanksgiving.
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We will pray hard for you.We have found alot of special people on this sight and will never forget them. My wife told the Bfather in our case that she would never in her life wish this ( what we went through) on her worst enemy.She said at the time you were my worst enemy and I would not even wish it on you.
Christie S-You will always be dear to our hearts and I feel our case is about the same spot now as yours has been for the last 5yrs and I want you to know we pray every day for you and an end to your case.Sometimes however you should look around and see things that are hard to see.Such as we have not gotten to the point of adopting yet but we are so happy and greatful for our case to be to a point of where yours is at.Lots of love and we will be thanking GOD at our table for you and everyone on this sight.
GOD BLESS
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CW called tonight they are going to TPR the new evidence with the failed polygraph tipped the scales. I guess the Lord listens even when we think he has fogotten us. Thank you for the prayers and I am sure we will still need them for a few months.
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I don't think that anyone who hasn't gone through the fear of losing a child that they love so deeply can begin to understand the fear that takes place in an entire family when an adoption is contested. When things have been done the right way, a birthmother has received proper counseling, the adoptive family respected the bioparents by not over-stepping boundaries and did not even begin to consider the child to be theirs until the surrender was signed, and still, they must fight for the child they have allowed themselves to become entitled to love as their own, it is gut-wrenching and all-consuming. I wish all of us on this thread a very Happy Thanksgiving. The power of prayer is a constant miracle. Let's continue to hold each other up and for those, like our family, that are celebrating this Thanksgiving with a finalized adoption, let's not forget our friends on the other side.
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Thank you for posting your thoughts, Daddy. I can relate on many levels. I'm soo glad you're able to have some peace and know realize our God listens to prayer and our hearts!
Happy Thanksgiving to you...and all here. Let's remember to hold our babies a bit closer and actually tell those we love that we love them! :)
Most Sincerely,
Linny
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daddysangel
Christie S-You will always be dear to our hearts and I feel our case is about the same spot now as yours has been for the last 5yrs and I want you to know we pray every day for you and an end to your case.Sometimes however you should look around and see things that are hard to see.Such as we have not gotten to the point of adopting yet but we are so happy and greatful for our case to be to a point of where yours is at.Lots of love and we will be thanking GOD at our table for you and everyone on this sight.
GOD BLESS
daddysangel,
Yes, I get that you have been fighting for years just to get to the point I am at now (and have been for over 5 years). My heart and soul have hurt for you. My love and prayers have been, and remain, with you.
Your expressions of emotions have been felt by me, you have expressed every emotion I have also had. Where we stand together is that in all of these years both of us have stood at the brink of losing our children.
In my case the birthmom won at the initial trial and the only reason I have my sweet son is that after she won she said she did not want him. But she did obtain her goal of being able to take him back if she so decides at a later date. She still does not want him. Never has. I have come to the conclusion that she just likes having the legal power to be able to do so, and to be able to turn our lives upside down at her whim whenever she decides to file some crazy motion against us.
We also share in the legal uncertainties and the underlying fears attached to that.
I would never wish for you to be where I am. And yet you have fought so hard just to get to this point. That is unimaginable to me. And being as how my own case has brought me to the brink then all I can think of is God Bless all of you. You all are even stronger than I have had to be.
So maybe together we can fight this next phase with the love and support of each other; with my understanding that you and DW have fought for years just to get here. Horrifying. Unimaginable. Sad. Heartbreaking. And I can never imagine my own fears compounded as yours have been.
Know that I am here for you and with you. Know that I stand strong and firm in resolution - with you. Know that my love and support are unwavering.
May we all find some peace and finality in the new year.
Hugs. Love. All of me - to all of you.
______________
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