Adult Adoptees What signs does a Bmother look for when?

[FONT=Comic Sans MS]Adult Adoptees What signs does a Bmother need to look for when a child doesn't really want to know their biological family? [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]This is my story! I'm a Bmother who has had contact with daughter for almost 2 yrs. We've had NO contact by phone!!! She contacted me when she turned 17. We have sent each other emails & letters & pictures. I basically wanted her to know that I gave her up out of LOVE. If I could have raised her myself I would have but I didn't want her childhood to be a struggle. I was 18 when I gave birth to her. I didn't have much and I was moments away from being kicked out on my own if I didn't do what was best for my baby. It was such a difficult decision to give up a child that you Love. I chose her family through open adoption. When I first met her parents I knew they were the perfect choice. I felt a sense of Peace the day I left the hospital without her. I knew she was going to having an amazing life. Well that was my WISH for her. I wanted nothing but the best for her. She was a magical little angel. I got to hold her in my arms the day I gave birth to her. The nurses didn't realize I was giving her up for adoption. The moment the head nurse realized the mistake she wanted to grab her out of my arms. I told her she better not and I told her to leave me alone. She did! Those moments I shared with her has never left my memory and nobody could ever take that away from me. I whispered into her ears, "Baby Angel mommy will always love you. Every night and every day you will be in my heart." I cried! I let her go! The pain inside my heart and soul was torn. If ONLY love was enough to get us through life but I knew it wasn't. I made a promise to GIVE her a Better life and I let her go.[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]All these years I hoped and prayed that some day we would reunite. I got some photos of her as she was growing up. She was an angel; she was just so beautiful. Her parents were kind enough to send me pictures when I asked for them. As she got older I decided to keep my distance. Five years after giving her up I met the man I would call my husband. We had our first child within a year. It was so magical to be a mother and to take home my baby. It was one of the happiest moments and deep down inside a heart breaking because the memories of giving up my baby only five years earlier was so painful. All those feelings came back. Part of me felt sad because my first born daughter wasn't going to know her brother. I had to be thankful that our lives were both headed in the right direction. I found a loving man and a new family to call my own. Three children later and 15 years of marriage life couldn't be any better. Well I thought it could be A lot better if I could one day reunite with my first born.[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]She contacted me and she said she wanted to meet me some day. I was so delighted and thrilled and over joyed. I told my children and husband and they were so excited. It's been two years now and she says she wants to take things slowly. She wants to get to know me but slowly. But she doesn't give me much feed back when I ask her things about herself. She does express a lot of love for church and her relationship with God. I tell her all the good memories I had while I was pregnant with her and express myself in the best way how LOVED she was by me. In response she tells me she was born the daughter of God. [/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]She has an amazing life filled with so much love and so many experiences. She's traveled to other countries doing missionary work. She's a women of faith. I couldn't be more happier for her. Her life is better than I ever amagined! It's wonderful. She has thanked me for giving her life.[/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS]She is really religious and she has strong values. I admire her so much. I send her emails every holiday. I always thought I would handle this situation much better than I am. My feelings go up and down. I love her so much and I would love to meet her and not waste anymore time apart. I know, I know it isn't that simple! If only life worked out the way we all dreamed it would! I have to be completely honest right now, her letter's are nice but I get the feelings she see's me more like a STORK. I know some of you are thinking she's still so young and I need to give her some time. How long? Ten years, 20 years? If a child doesn't want contact is it wrong for me to distance myself from this situation? She has an incredible life. I feel like why change something that isn't broken. I have made the decision to back away from contact! Why? I'm feeling like this is one of those situations that a reunion is not in the cards. Adult Adoptee's am I making the right decision? She's got a perfect family, perfect life why change that for her just because I am the one interested in meeting her and having her part of my life. We both move forward with our own lives and be at Peace with that. I need some advice. Tks for listening to me spill my heart out to strangers. PEACE[/FONT]