HELP!!! Arguing Driving me NUTTTTSSS!

When they come to you with their arguements, don't listen. Instead say, "oh, you need something to do." and give each of them a chore. We did this every 10 minutes for 3 hours one day. Finally, one of the kids bribed the other one to stop it. If that's too much of a hassle, tell them you only take complaints in writing. Let them write all their arguments down and let them know you'll read them when you get time after dinner. Other then that, ignore them and when they start pushing, send them outside and tell them to fight out there and they can re enter the house when they've finished. (Don't do this if the kids are overly aggressive or one is a lot bigger then the other)

That is a couple of great ideas. I will start today with the writing them down idea. I still have a problem with the mornings - while they are getting ready for school - we do not have any extra time to write things down or do extra work, but maybe this will help nip it all in the bud when they do have time. Any other ideas??? Rea

One I have heard is that the two arguing kids have to sit back to back for a specified amount of time. but usually, for me the morning arguing is the worst. I just separate them. Normally breakfast is eaten at the kitchen table, so I will send one to the island, or to the dining room table. Or if I am having problems with more than just two arguing I may have one at the kitchen table, one at the island, and one in the dining room. If someone pushes it beyond that they are sent to their bedroom. that would usually be my oldest daughter.. the rest seem to get it that they have pushed as far as they can.

I have three children who argue in a similar manner. Recently a friend was telling me about a point system that she uses. It might help in the morning. You make a list of things that you want the kids to do and they get a point for each. My friend uses physical markers that her only child moves on a board. We use note cards to mark their points. If my kids are busy marking their points and trying to find ways to earn more, they don't argue as much. They get 1 point for each: brush teeth, make bed, get dressed, eat breakfast and put bowl in sink and so on. Due to arguing I have also tried (with some success) 2 points for working out a disagreement peacefully. Even if they take advantage of that one, I give it to them if I have peace. We made a list of what they can earn with the points. I have two girls and one boy so we have things like 30 points for a manicure in mom's bathroom and 100 points is going to ice cream at Braums. My friend actually purchased a kit for this. I can find out that information if it would be helpful. I love how this has turned my kids energy to the positive. By the way, my oldest is 12 and my youngest is 7 and nothing has ever worked as well or for as long as this one. Good luck. My kids do still argue, but I think it is a form of entertainment when they are bored.

Hi! My personal opinion is that ignoring makes the situation worse, as you said yorself when they you ignore they start pushing each other. I have solved many children's quarrels by simply putting an end to it. If one child puts blame on the other child and they keep ping-ponging the blame back and forth, they are both responsible for whatever happened when you weren't there and they are both going to go through a consequence for their bad behavior. One thing I learned is that a family is a unit and a team, therefore, if they have accusations back and forth and no one assumes who did the wrong doing, then both should be corrected and give them a consequence... now, chores aren't supposed to be given as consequence because it builds responsibility in a child and it's something they need to have as an responsibility not as a consequence for a bad behavior. Children usually also when they are throughing the balme at each other, they usually say: Well, he started it first... and then the other one says: But he did this first. If you go along with it you will stay the whole day listening to them who did what first. You are the parent, you have authority over them even if you think you don't. They challenge us to make look like they are in our place but they are not. If you stick with what you plan as the consequece and follow through and putting a period to their story you shouldn't have anymore problems. Hope this helps.

My Mom made me and my brother "hug"... It normally put a stop and /or we broke down crying. As we got older all I had to do was threaten to hug my brother and he'd cool it.

well i will say start ignoring them cause by ignoring them you will not give any attention to their childish things........it will make them mature and they will not do the childish things.

I have done a couple of things. One thing I do on occasion for my sanity is the quiet game, I offer a dollar to the winner. Yeah, I know its' bribery. LOL, but don't look at them cause they will try to tattle with signals. I have also done the writing thing. I told them that if no one is getting hurt and nothing is getting broken to submit the complaint in writing and to please use complete sentances, proper spelling and punctuation. The never decided it was worth doing. My youngest would occasionally write a long list of his complaints, but he didn't use full sentences and proper grammar. (usually his complaints were about things I won't buy him, or things I won't let him do)